this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Where are all of the good toddlers with guns when you need them??

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Funny and very disappointing at the same time how he got actual politicians to endorse training for 4 year olds to shoot bad guys.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 month ago (3 children)

guns don't kill people, toddlers do

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It takes a child to raze a village.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

As someone with 2 preschool aged kids I absolutely agree

[–] [email protected] 96 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jesus Fucking Christ! Someone do something about that toddler!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's what the toddler wants.

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Every sixty seconds, a woman in Britain gives birth. She. Must. Be. Exhausted.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Why would she be exhausted when she has the machine that goes PING! After all it's the doctors who do all the work since they're the experts.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And her name is Maggie Simpson.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Her name is Maggie Simpson. Her name is Maggie Simpson.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Imagine what he's going to be like when he hits his rebellious years.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

He probably doesn't remain that large, he is a toddler

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

He remains at small but growing rapidly

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Just stop selling the kid ammo. Problem solved.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You say no to that cute little face!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I would easily say no to his face... but he has a guna nd is willing to use it.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

All I'm saying is that if bullets cost $5,000 I bet that toddler would have a hard time affording them

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The solution for a toddler with a gun is an adult with a gun. Or something. Idk, I'm not american.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

You've got the spirit though

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

According to my quick search, it should be Not more than 5 years into the deaths by gun-wielding toddler surpass the deaths of 9/11.

Edit: I was wrong. Here are the fruits of my research:

Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year, would take until 2142 to surpass the 9/11 deaths

Kids 12 and below: 40 deaths per year, would take until 2075 to surpass those deaths

Children 17 and below, when counting accidents only, would take until 2029

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year

Last I checked, there was more weeks than that in a year. Did those fuckers in HR go and change it?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Ah ok, fair enough.

Now that you mention it, it was pretty silly to expect the toddler to have a 100% kill rate lol

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Glad to see their aim got better

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lil John Wick is on a mission, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Adam Sandler in: Lil' Wicky

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I look forward to his adolescence as a Fortune 500 CEO.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

that little bastard

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (8 children)

this joke is funny here but it gets really sad when twitter and everyone repeats the same “original” knee slapper when this stat continues to be true, month after month after month 😒

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I used to be an kneeslapper like them. Then I got shot by a toddler.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Right in the knee?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

That Dennis is such a meanance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Toddler army UNITE

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Why don't Americans simply not have a larger toddler eat this trigger happy rugrat?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

They will grow out of it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

After 2 years are they still a toddler?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Toddler is age 1-3, so they are just about done.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I bet he'll be able to retire at 3 years old with this many jobs

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Talk about the Terrible Twos!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Whoever said taking candy from a baby was easy must not have been American

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Not a very good accuracy, shooting ranges need to offer child discounts, so they could practice more

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