This is way too good a post
badposting
badposting is a comm where you post badly
This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.
Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?
Rules:
- Do not post good posts.
- Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
- Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
- This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
- This rule intentionally left blank.
- If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.
Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo
I'm on a roll...
no self control
I'm posting bout beans
On methamphetamine
I wanna bean the minority
I pledge
A bean dip
To the underworld
I heard that Satan likes
A chickpea black bean swirl
A face in the crowd
Suggested guacamole
Without a doubt
Mispronounced
But still a good call
Do you have the time
To listen to me dine
On lots of beans and nothing else
I am was of those those
Sad malnorish fools
Now better off on beans no doubt about it
Sometimes beans give myself the shits
Sometimes my farts creep up on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I ate enough
My bowls have been destroyed
Uh huh ya ya
Dear mother can you hear me cooking?
It's been 3 bean salad since I have left your home
This poverty has got me eating
Delicious beans now that I'm out and on my own
And eating beans alone
Pay attention to the split peas
They taste good with rhizomes
I boil it up and it tastes nice
I wanna feed you soup
That I made inside my home
Welcome to beans and rice
Don't wanna be an American bean dip
Duh-nuh-nuh-nah Bah-nuh-nuh-nah-nah
BAH NAH NAAH I'm the son of rage and love!
DAHHH DAH DUH the beanis of Suburbia
This is the best post I've ever posted. Plz remove
Don't wanna bean an American Idiot!
I walk these empty streets
On the boulevard of broken beans
Good news: this is the one that broke my wife.
"WHY IS EVERYTHING BEANS??" She shouted in a defeated tone
I just posted Nice Beans Finish Fast and I think I kinda crushed that one
I don't think I could possibly be any more proud of you than I am in this moment
So this is what the peak feels like
Bean dip
Chomp inside myself
My own best friend
My most trusted enemy
I farted
And departed
Never telling anyone that it was me
I must insist on being
A bean enthusiast
A burrito leading to a gassy behind
Refrying
Soaking and drying
I've perfected the science of the beaniot
Slow witted
But committed
To a bean lifestyle
Even if it's deviant
The bassline for Longview but you say Bean for each note. Hard to do in text.
Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean
Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean
Nice beans finish fast
I'm getting lots of gas
I'm eating beans and shidding my behind
Rich and flavorful
I'm filling up my bowl
Beans and I are eternally entwined
Pressure cooker bakes my beans
And smelling me is disease
I'm so fucking stinky
People cry
Every bean my have it's truth
But every bean's in you
Never knew you were such a smelly guy
OHHHH Nice beans finish fast
Cause fiber helps you pass
So you don't have to shid your ass
For as much time
Farting on command
Making people smell your hand
Your losing most of your friend's trust
Smelling how you please
Bite the hand with beans
You're gonna eat some beans
And that is rad
Here we go again
Infatuation with my beans
That I've just made can't end
Oh but then again
If you can't smell much more than beans
Then that's exactly when I'm cooking
I toss and turn all night thinking
About bean perfection
Only to realize that
It's not different at all
So I throw my past bean-stakes
And contemplate my future
That's when I say
'What the hey?"
I'll eat beans forever
Me and beans together run away yeah
Far away
(First 5 greenday albums slap hard, Dookie is their 3rd, btw)
Itt: it's early summer and mild mania might be striking me as it's won't to do.
DAH DAH DAH
I'm the son of fabaceae
The beanis of suburbia, the legume of none of the above on a steady diet of:
DAH DAH DAH
Nitrates and urea and
compost and manure and all the nitrogen and the co2 that is in the atmospheeere
and there's nothing wrong with me
this is how I'm supposed to beeeeaaaaaaaaaan
in a land of cereal grains that don't believe in beanis