38
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Do you have the time

To soak your beans in brine?

Or are you opening a can

Cause you're in a hurry?

I am one of those

Tasty bean eating fools

Chomping on some beans

No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself some treats

Sometimes the beans go into me

It all keeps adding up

On beans I'm fillin' up

Am I just full beans?

Or am I just stoned?

I went to a shrink

To analyze my beans

She said not to see her anymore

I went to a store

I was out of beans and needed more

So I bought a bunch of them

It was pretty rad

top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

This is way too good a post

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm on a roll...

no self control

I'm posting bout beans

On methamphetamine

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I pledge

A bean dip

To the underworld

I heard that Satan likes

A chickpea black bean swirl

A face in the crowd

Suggested guacamole

Without a doubt

Mispronounced

But still a good call

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Do you have the time

To listen to me dine

On lots of beans and nothing else

I am was of those those

Sad malnorish fools

Now better off on beans no doubt about it

Sometimes beans give myself the shits

Sometimes my farts creep up on me

It all keeps adding up

I think I ate enough

My bowls have been destroyed

Uh huh ya ya

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Dear mother can you hear me cooking?

It's been 3 bean salad since I have left your home

This poverty has got me eating

Delicious beans now that I'm out and on my own

And eating beans alone

Pay attention to the split peas

They taste good with rhizomes

I boil it up and it tastes nice

I wanna feed you soup

That I made inside my home

Welcome to beans and rice

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Don't wanna be an American bean dip

Duh-nuh-nuh-nah Bah-nuh-nuh-nah-nah

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

BAH NAH NAAH I'm the son of rage and love!

DAHHH DAH DUH the beanis of Suburbia

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

This is the best post I've ever posted. Plz remove

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Don't wanna bean an American Idiot!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I walk these empty streets

On the boulevard of broken beans

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Good news: this is the one that broke my wife.

"WHY IS EVERYTHING BEANS??" She shouted in a defeated tone

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I just posted Nice Beans Finish Fast and I think I kinda crushed that one

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I don't think I could possibly be any more proud of you than I am in this moment

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

So this is what the peak feels like

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Bean dip

Chomp inside myself

My own best friend

My most trusted enemy

I farted

And departed

Never telling anyone that it was me

I must insist on being

A bean enthusiast

A burrito leading to a gassy behind

Refrying

Soaking and drying

I've perfected the science of the beaniot

Slow witted

But committed

To a bean lifestyle

Even if it's deviant

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

The bassline for Longview but you say Bean for each note. Hard to do in text.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean

Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Nice beans finish fast

I'm getting lots of gas

I'm eating beans and shidding my behind

Rich and flavorful

I'm filling up my bowl

Beans and I are eternally entwined

Pressure cooker bakes my beans

And smelling me is disease

I'm so fucking stinky

People cry

Every bean my have it's truth

But every bean's in you

Never knew you were such a smelly guy

OHHHH Nice beans finish fast

Cause fiber helps you pass

So you don't have to shid your ass

For as much time

Farting on command

Making people smell your hand

Your losing most of your friend's trust

Smelling how you please

Bite the hand with beans

You're gonna eat some beans

And that is rad

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Here we go again

Infatuation with my beans

That I've just made can't end

Oh but then again

If you can't smell much more than beans

Then that's exactly when I'm cooking

I toss and turn all night thinking

About bean perfection

Only to realize that

It's not different at all

So I throw my past bean-stakes

And contemplate my future

That's when I say

'What the hey?"

I'll eat beans forever

Me and beans together run away yeah

Far away

(First 5 greenday albums slap hard, Dookie is their 3rd, btw)

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Itt: it's early summer and mild mania might be striking me as it's won't to do.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

DAH DAH DAH

I'm the son of fabaceae

The beanis of suburbia, the legume of none of the above on a steady diet of:

DAH DAH DAH

Nitrates and urea and

compost and manure and all the nitrogen and the co2 that is in the atmospheeere

and there's nothing wrong with me

this is how I'm supposed to beeeeaaaaaaaaaan

in a land of cereal grains that don't believe in beanis

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
38 points (97.5% liked)

badposting

280 readers
210 users here now

badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

founded 7 months ago
MODERATORS