this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2024
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A Boring Dystopia

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How low on avocado do you need to be to not be allowed to say that it's guac? 3.5% will certainly do it.

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

Homeopathamole

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Seems more like sociopathic guac.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (6 children)

This got me curious so I looked up the nutrition page on Tesco's website... The two main ingredients are water and tomatoes lol

INGREDIENTS: Water, Tomato, Rapeseed Oil, Onion, Modified Maize Starch, Avocado (3.5%), Soured Cream (Milk) (3%), Lime Juice from Concentrate, Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Whey Powder (Milk), Sugar, Garlic Purée, Jalapeño Chilli (1%), Coriander Leaf, Dried Egg Yolk, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Salt, Colours (Lutein, Copper Complexes of Chlorophyllins), Stabilisers (Xanthan Gum), Dried Red Pepper, Glucose Syrup, Preservative (Potassium Sorbate), Antioxidant (Ascorbic Acid).

[–] [email protected] 65 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just like mother used to make.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Gather around children and enjoy some of mamas Tesco Guacamole inspired topping

[–] solsangraal 35 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (8 children)

at least they're up front about their bullshit. unlike "american cheese" that has "pasteurized processed cheese product" in fine print. or "ice cream" with "frozen dairy product" in fine print. when i worked at starbucks we had to call it a "chocolatey chip" frappuccino instead of "chocolate chip," because the ingredients didn't fit the legal definition of chocolate

i'm also impressed they called it "rapeseed oil" instead of canola oil. though maybe there are new rules about that

edit: ok, "canola oil" is a stupid americas thing--i withdraw my impressedness

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Honestly not sure why people get so upset about American cheese. It's just cheese with an emulsifier in it that softens it. Best burger cheese by far.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

It’s less the emulsifier softens it, more it allows water to the added. Cheese is largely fat/oil which doesn’t mix easily with water.

The emulsifier allows you to melt and cast left over cheese, and add water to increase it’s volume. Its original invention was to make use of scrap cuts of cheese.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Best burger cheese by far.

How can you possibly say such nonsense when swiss and muenster both exist

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Then you need to try a few different brands of American cheese to find out that the most affordable options often use so much vegetable oil that it basically tastes like oil with some whey powder in it.

Yes there are good quality American cheese offerings, Land o Lakes and Boars Head both have an actual cultured American cheese.

But nearly all of the non-premium brands are frankly unpleasant.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (3 children)

You clearly haven't had a burger with a good quality bun & patty grilled to medium rare with layers of cheddar, Colby, pepper jack and Swiss melted on top

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Hasn't it always been called rapeseed in the UK?

As I understand it, canola oil as a term is used predominantly only in the US and Canada, with canola itself being a portmanteau of Can -adian and Oil

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

CANadian Oil, Low Acidity

Edit: apparently that's a myth? It's ola as in oil

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Here in the USA something that says "guacamole inspired" would for sure have zero percent avocado lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Canola is a North American thing. AFAIK the British are familiar with the term "rapeseed" and don't need the rebranding.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

canola is a specific cultivar of rapeseed, regular rapeseed contains more erucic acid. there is no good reason for this because erucic acid has no proven health impacts on humans but they did it anyway

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I think that's the difference between UK law and US law

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

In Swiss, Milk alternatives like oat milk, aren't allowed to contain "milk" in the name, because they're not milk.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Honestly, I think thats just nonsense.

Everyone is very much aware that Oat Milk and Soy Milk and all the other non-dairy milks don't have any cow juice in them

Just the name itself makes it clear.

It's as equally stupid, in my opinion, as the argument that we shouldn't call a vegetarian or vegan burger a "burger" because people might think it has meat when it doesn't.

It's all a play by the dairy and meat industries to make vegan alternatives sound unappetising, and it's very transparent.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

"american cheese” that has “pasteurized processed cheese product” in fine print. or “ice cream” with “frozen dairy product” in fine print

Maybe this is just because I live in Wisconsin where the dairy and alcohol lobbies are both extremely strong, but most not-icecream is labeled as a "frozen desert" and those terrible plastic Impersonations of cheese also aren't labeled as cheese at all.

Granted the graphic design does a ton of the heavy lifting. On the "frozen desert" it shows a scoop of ice cream in decidedly ice cream like packaging and says the flavor really huge, then in much smaller print below that "frozen desert" and I think Kraft Singles just shows a picture of cheese and the branding without actually specifying what the product is

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lets play spot the hidden corn syrup.

Modified Maize Starch

There it is!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

That actually doesnt sound too bad. Though I'm surprised with the artificial colors that this is what went with.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

I'm sure that's a farrow and ball paint colour.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Can’t find the one where they added a fourth panel

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Whoah, I remember all the catchy "not butter" related margarine names. I guess "I can't believe it's not butter" must have consumed them all before today in some act of greasy cannibalism.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago

“I can’t believe it’s not Guac”

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Finally, millenials' financial troubles are over!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

"I can't believe we're legally not allowed to call it guacamole"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Reminds me of "fruit drink with natural flavors." Not actually juice, just juice adjacent.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Which are you not into? "Creamy" or "zesty"?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I mean I drink oatmilk, and I think it'd be perfectly reasonable to say "milk-inspired drink," but yeah... looking at the ingredients I'd stick to guac or plain avocados, unless cash is real tight.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Be inspired.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I saw "tortilla chips with avocado", it had %0.04 dried avocado powder in it. So lower than that?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Anytime they say its "with" its like homeopathic level

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The worst part of this is the lack of hyphen

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

"Yeah I dunno, Jake...I was just this very moment enjoying this bomb-ass salsa when it hit me...this epiphany just washed over me...I think I want to be a power bottom."

pauses putting guac covered tortilla chip in mouth "...o...ohmigawd...you're not gonna believe this, Mike..."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Props to them, though, for keeping equal text size for the title so it's not as easily mistaken for actually guacamole.

Edit: or rather pretty close in size

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How inspiring is guacamole?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

It inspires me everyday.

If guacamole didn’t exist, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Not sure even British. Saw Tesco on an aboringdystopia post.

Yes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago
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