It's weird to think about just how recent all of this has been for me. Just 3 years ago I was still so confused about my own sexuality and gender, even though in hindsight it's obvious that I've been a lesbian trans girl all along.
Mourning lost time, self hate
And while I look forward to my future now, it also hurts to think about how much time I've spent not knowing who I really am. What experiences could I have had if I had just realized these things sooner? I probably be a much happier person today, that's for sure. I've started to hate my past self for wasting so much time.
I want to move on, stop obsessing over the past and what could have been, but it feels like the consequences of my past actions will continue to haunt me for a while longer.