this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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What stalin-stressed

spoiler

Also these product names are brilliant- "Billy Bonkers"

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

That's not how Schwalbe markets them on their own site. If I had to guess, Amazon probably has a field for all bike-related merchandise where you have to indicate the "gender" of bikes they're usable on, even if it doesn't make sense.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

This is exactly right. Amazon has hundreds of mandatory fields that sellers must complete to sell their products on the site and if any are missing then Amazon will remove the products from sale. Of course the mandatory fields change on an almost daily basis and often make no sense. Sellers must jump through the hoops or get the boot.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago

I was utterly confused since I'd never seen fucking tires be gendered before, makes sense if it's some Amazon nonsense

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

unisex

Do not fuck the unicycle volcel-kamala

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, it says “unisex”. So you get to do it once …

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Especially if you don't watch your bits around the spokes.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Amazon just slaps unisex onto completely agender items sometimes. It's really annoying.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

Unisex DDR5 memory implies an untapped market for CHUDs whose brains have been infected by the Andrew Tate-o-sphere think-about-it

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 weeks ago

It could totally also be short for Wilhelmina morshupls

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago

Baby Billy's Bicycle Bonkers

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Schwalbe tires have all these different personas in how they are named. One of the best is the 'Thunder Burt'. 'Rocket Ron' is also funny. 'Johnny Watts' is meant for e-bikes. 'Racing Ralph' is funnier than intended.

Looking thru them, 'Tacky Chan' seems new.

Not sure what 'Hans Dampf' is about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

Pre-crisis Tacky Chan with 4,000 years of Chinese cycling no diffs the self taught Billy Bonkers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

The US is becoming so woke their bicycle tires have pronouns.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

If there are girls' bikes then there needs to be girl bike tyres

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

What else did you think they meant by “Knobby” tires