this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and "pureed" in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

Kristina Joksimovic, 38, was found dead in her home in Binningen, near Basel, Switzerland, in February this year.

According to local news outlet BZ Basel, a man named Thomas, 41, had an appeal for release from custody denied by the Federal Court in Lausanne on Wednesday after he reportedly confessed to killing his wife, with whom he had two children.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I did not expect to read "Blender" and "Model" in this context ever.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Try blender.org you use it to model. Literally, you can make models using a blender. You, know, a version of it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

So... like running a blender in reverse? 😁

[–] [email protected] 202 points 5 days ago (2 children)

BZ Basel also said Thomas was arrested the day after Ms Joksimovic's body was found, and initially told investigators he had found her dead and dismembered her body in their laundry room in panic.

Let those who have not dismembered a family member in a panic with a jigsaw and garden shears before dissolving their pulped body in a bath of acid throw the first stone.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 5 days ago (2 children)

When you put it like that... Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago (3 children)

It was self defense, after all, and one can never be too safe.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

When Vita-mixes are criminalized, only criminals will have Vita-mixes.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

There's a documentary on Hulu I highly recommend called The Jinx, about multimillionaire serial killer Robert Durst. One of my favorite lines from him is "I did not kill my best friend, but I did dismember him".

His family owns like half of NYC. Someone I know used to work directly under them and can confirm the batshit runs down the whole family tree.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 days ago

What. The fuck.

[–] [email protected] 121 points 5 days ago (3 children)

That’s an episode of “Will It Blend?” I didn’t think we’d ever get in real life.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You're terrible, even by my standards, which are impressively low

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

I like to treat every standard like a limbo bar and see how much lower I can go.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 5 days ago

A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and “pureed” in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

That's, that's a brand new sentence.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My mind couldn't contemplate the title when I first read it. I thought this was some sort of AI art or deep fake "blender" program that he was selling nudes or vids of her that he had constructed.... the whole actual person being put into a blender just didn't even compute.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I was so confused at the title too. What does being "pureed" in blender animation software even mean?

Why do people suddenly call a mixer a blender? Isn't "blend" related to light? English makes no sense.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

English makes no sense.

Too true!

Isn't "blend" related to light?

You can use blend for anything, especially if you're creating a mix of two original things. And you could mix light too (you have things like mix() for colors in CSS).

In cooking, I would call something you use to mix dough a mixer, and something you use to make a smoothie a blender. I guess there are some subtle differences in "feel" but the words are almost interchangeable.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Good to know, thanks

[–] [email protected] 60 points 5 days ago (6 children)

This story is wild to read, how do you purée someone and still find a body and determine they were strangled?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I suspect he vastly underestimated the scope of the job.

Shopkeeper: Oh, hello Thomas, back already? How was that blender? Not big enough you say? Well how big do you need? A whole large coconut you say?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (8 children)

I mean, considering how some of them can struggle with ice cubes, you'd need one hell of a (consumer grade) blender to effectively get rid of a body

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (4 children)

The article is unclear about which body parts were dismantled and blended, i assume he just did the arms and legs or something. Which leaves a lot of the body to be found and analyzed.

Basically, if i get this right, he was cutting the body in pieces and blending them one by one, which i assume must be a long process so no wonder he got caught. Honestly if i were to get rid of a body that would also be my plan in its entirety

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 days ago (1 children)

He did what with the what now!?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 days ago (2 children)

"the ruling from the court held Ms Joksimovic was strangled to death."

CSI Switzerland must be fucking wizards, man.

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 days ago (2 children)

This is the most psychopathic thing I have seen in quite some time. wtf

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

I dunno I thought nothing was gonna beat the Olympian that was hunted down and set on fire by her Ex just earlier this month but yeah this beat it.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

What the actual fuck? No jail for this motherfucker, just throw him into a vulcano

[–] [email protected] 51 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Because what sane person, who upon walking into their home and finding a loved one unconscious (or even worse :dead:) doesn’t reach for their blender.

Amiright, guys??

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 days ago (3 children)

What brand was this blender? I would like to know, not because I have any former models that need blending, but because that thing must've been a tank

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 days ago

I mean they found a body so I assume it wasn't that great

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

I bet he used a Blendtec

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

Jesus fucking Christ.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 days ago (11 children)

Because that would sure eliminate the DNA evidence...

A murderer and a moron.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The start of the headline lured me in for the biggest WTF moment I've had in ages. I'll be sweating bullets the next time I see something about a former model/Miss-Wherever

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

People following the story of a former Olympic runner: First time?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I have to go through the entire rest of the day having this in the back of my mind the whole time. GFD. 🫣

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

They quoted the word "pureed" which means there was butter and potato starch involved

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

MBS gonna hire this guy

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago

What the fuck bros

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

Poor girl...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Okay gallows humor here, fair warning.

Have you ever made a fucking smoothie? Do you know how hard it is to get that last little bit of ice to properly puree? Now imagine trying to blend fucking bone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

They found her in a puréed state?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

And it was a hand blender even. Wow

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