this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Calm down Canada.

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[–] [email protected] 217 points 1 day ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] [email protected] 167 points 1 day ago (3 children)

$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 36 minutes ago

I want people to send this to him now!

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 day ago

Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 131 points 1 day ago

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 day ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] [email protected] 107 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 day ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

screenshotting this and sending it to fox news as an admission of guilt

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

I'm very afraid some maga is going to read this comment and take it seriously.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 day ago

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

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