this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
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Trump is nearly 80-years-old, loves steak and Big Macs, was hospitalized with Covid-19, and has been shot, but has maintained his health is fine

Since Donald Trump first emerged on the scene of American politics in 2015, he has refused to provide a glimpse into his medical records.

If Trump, 78, succeeds in November, he will become the oldest person ever to serve as president, ousting the current record-holder, Joe Biden. When his potential second term ends, he will be 82 years old.

Despite his advanced age, Trump has refused to provide any glimpse into his records. When asked about his health in 2015, he provided a four-paragraph letter from his doctor, who claimed he would be the “healthiest person ever elected to the presidency.”


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[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

What records has he ever released?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 hours ago

Record losses, or so I hope.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 hours ago

Crying 45 will pay a doctor to lie...again.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

The doctor had a tear in his eye. He said that "was the greatest colon he's ever seen". Much better than crooked Joe's colon. Beautiful colon. He also said that I had the most bigly penis he's ever seen.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Also, what ever happened with his taxes he said he would release as soon as his imaginary audit was over? It would be nice to finally prove to his supporters that he is a lying con-man who was never the billionaire he claimed he was.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I thought someone already leaked his taxes, and it confirmed what we already knew

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Now we just need someone to leak his medical records

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

People that care about facts already know what it would say

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago

Wasn’t he just a stable genius not too long ago?

[–] [email protected] 54 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

My money is on him having and STI that will show up in his health records. There’s no other reason he would hide it. In fact if he was perfectly healthy as he claims, he would have been the first one to release it and then brag about it 24x7

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 hours ago

Or he just wasn't able to pass the dementia test.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

The main reason he's hiding it is because he wants to be treated like a god by his followers.

But let's be honest: he's going to release a false report if push comes to shove.

He has no upside to release his health records. Or tax record.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 hours ago

So, comparing his attempt to avoid/cure STDs to a famous loss...

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

He could beat Lincoln's record of oldest president to be assassinated by over 20 years. If that happens then the run is basically dead -- whose gonna be older and a bigger piece of shit? That's TAS only.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

If he just died before the election that’s still best case scenario. Vance would flop against Harris and the coup attempts would have a bit less juice and fervor, I would hope. I don’t even know if the GOP could hold together if that happened

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Summoning Salt theme intensifies

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago

Now I’m imagining the sound of Mitch doing a BLJ. Thanks for that.

[–] [email protected] 101 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

It's attached to his tax returns and under his healthcare plan.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Healthcare plan is being audited by the IRS

[–] [email protected] 50 points 12 hours ago

He has concepts of medical records.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 hours ago

Infrastructure week!

[–] [email protected] 78 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

"has been shot" Barely grazed him

[–] [email protected] 43 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 hours ago

There's actually a very good video where it shows that it was almost certainly the holster of the agent's gun that he scraped his ear on. Lines up perfectly

[–] [email protected] 22 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

An owie. A boo-boo at worst.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

It's possible. I have done a shit load of piercings and they seem to scar pretty easy, at least mine. At the same time though, they heal very fast, and it was a graze from a bit of glass. It could go either way

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

Glass would also make a much cleaner cut than a bullet, drastically reducing the time to heal

[–] [email protected] 32 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

We should probably just listen to his doctor, Dr. Ronny Jackson, who flooded the White House with all sorts of pills. He even had some nice dog whistles to eugenics to say about Trump.

"It's called genetics," Jackson said. "Some people just have great genes. I told the president if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years he might live to be 200."

He also said Trump was 6' 3" and 239 lbs. except when they did his booking in NYC and Georgia it said something else. His NYC booking put his stats @ 6' 2" and 240 lbs., but then in Georgia a month later he was measured at 6' 3" and 215 lbs. meaning he gained an inch and lost 25 lbs.

And apparently some "expert" used a photo to determine Trump is really only 5' 11" when comparing him to his youngest son Barron who is 6' 7" tall.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Trump wears Elevator shoes to appear taller. This is part of the reason why he’s always hunched forward.

DeSantis also wears them.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That's why, even though he was in the middle of an assassination attempt, he demanded to put his shoes back on before standing back up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Can't be seen in public without his slutty little heels.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Lol saying some people have great genes is not eugenics. My grandma is 101 and has had milky way bars and other candy every day for the past 30yrs. Some people are literally more predisposed to long life.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

But Trump very much believes in eugenics, so you have to read his report knowing that Trump was part of crafting every word of it. His German heritage, coupled with his fascination with Hitler, his father marching with the KKK, all make it hard to believe he isn't just telling you who he is.

Otherwise yes, some people hit the gene lotto and don't have risk factors to a lot of diseases. But that is not what Trump is talking about when he talks about genes, he thinks he is the "master race".

Edit - A piece on Trump's gene beliefs for context.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 hours ago

Candy bars every day since she was only 71!

If she didn't have them every day before that, I'd be celebrating too!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 hours ago

That's congressman Ronny Jackson (R-TX).

Yep, Texas' 13th district elected Dr. Feelgood to congress.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

His frontal lobes must look like Swiss cheese.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 12 hours ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 hours ago

Let's taste them.

MFW Trump Derangment Syndrome is real and it's a prion disease.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Bet the fucker has prions so thats a no from me dawg

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

Lazy prions taking their fucking time.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago

Is that you, RFK?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Not me. I got my DNA tested and I'm not carrying the zombie gene. It's kind of like how some people don't like cilantro. But I hope you enjoy it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I just woke up, still in a haze, that was my first comment of the day. It can only get better from here.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Two. I believe in you, as well. You've got spunk kid, we just need to focus on either gross OR scientific, probably not both at the same time when it comes to Trump.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

You've got spunk kid, ...

Definitely not a kid, and I have some bad news about spunk when you get old.