this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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neurodiverse

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What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

What happens if the server crashes?
If there was about 20 minutes or less before the server was due to close and things were winding down, sorry folks - the party died a little prematurely. But if it looked like the momentum was going to continue and I could keep going then I’ll fire up a new server and send out a new ping inviting you back. If there was 30 minutes or more to go before the promised close time, I’ll do the same.

How can I join the ping list?
Comment below on this post or the one that linked here asking to be added or send me a DM with a request and I'll add you to the ping list.

Will you notify me in Element when your server goes live next?
I need to do a viability assessment before I can promise anything. If you want to be on the waiting list, send me a DM to let me know and I’ll put you down and if/when it gets launched I’ll let you know via Element.

Will you hold it at a more reasonable time for North America/my time zone?
I plan to. I intend on holding this drop-in server at different times to cover different time zones so that it's suitable for folks wherever they happen to be.

What is Webfishing anyway?
It's a new little cozy game that's based around fishing and feels a lot like Animal Crossing.

How does it work?
It's basically like a chatroom that has a little game attached to it. You don't have to play the game if you just want to chat. The game itself has a very relaxed vibe without any time pressure or specific goals you have to achieve.

Where do I get the game?
It's available on Steam for around $5 USD, less if you're in a developing country.

What if I can't afford to buy the game at the moment?
If it's the one thing that's stopping you from joining, send me a DM and I'll buy a code for you to use as long as you are a Hexbear user with an account that isn't brand new.

**Can I join if I am a lurker, if I do not have a Hexbear account, or if I found this via another part of the Fediverse?
Of course. As long as you adhere to the Server Ground Rules listed at the bottom of this post you are invited to join the server.

What if I do not identify as being neurodivergent?
You do not have to identify as neurodivergent to join the server, I've just been posting on here as I gradually grow this project and improve it to avoid overextending myself. In due course I hope to start promoting this to the whole site but for now I've still got my training wheels on.

You are not expected to be an active Hexbear user with an account in order to join the server - everyone is welcome.

What are the system requirements?
They are reasonably low. You need a device that can run Steam (like a PC, a laptop, or a handheld device such as a Steam Deck or similar.)
You can read more about the specific system requirements on the Steam page to see if your device is up to the task of running the game.

Do you have any tips for running the game on Linux with a very low-spec computer?
It's a little bit technical but this guide takes you through the steps to get the most out of a low spec device running Linux.

Can I join the server straight after downloading the game?
There is a brief, mandatory tutorial that the game makes you do when you play for the first time. It should only take you a few minutes to play through though. After you have completed the mandatory tutorial you will be able to join a server and start chatting/playing.

Do I have to RSVP? How long do I have to stay if I join?
You don't need to RSVP, just show up whenever you're ready to while the server is running.
You don't have to stay for any longer than you want to. You can even just pop in to say hello and then head off straight after if you like.
If you mention that you are interested in joining the server for this event in the comments section below, I will ping you when it goes live.
If you want to be part of the main ping list, just say so and every time a new post about the next upcoming peer space gets posted I’ll ping you so you get a notification that another one is happening soon.

Do I have to use my Hexbear username?
No. I'd recommend that you don't so that way you have some separation between your account here and your character in Webfishing.

Will it be moderated?
You bet it will be. I will be in there the whole time and I will moderate the space to maintain its safety.

Is there an age requirement to join the server?
I cannot guarantee with 100% certainty that the server will be safe or suitable for minors so you are only permitted to join if you are 18+.
I will do my best to ensure the server is safe but people may chose talk about heavy subjects or topics that are inappropriate for minors and I do not want to expose minors to undue risks.
I cannot check your ID at the door but please keep in mind that you need to be an adult in order to join.

A Casual, non-Peer Support server are currently being trialled for viability where the rules are stricter on acceptable discussion but which is open to all ages.
If you would like to be added to the non-Peer Support list then please send me a DM requesting to be added to that peer list. All users on the main ping list will also be notified of the casual non-Peer Support server going live.

Please DO NOT comment below letting everyone know that you are a minor – don’t announce your age online in public spaces especially if you aren’t an adult, please.

What's the difference between the Peer Support server and the casual one?
All users will be expected to keep things age-appropriate in the casual server.
Currently the casual server is going live on an ad-hoc basis without advanced notification, mostly by request at the moment.
I will be there to moderate however my engagement is less intensive to allow me to manage the demands on me. Think of it as a low key hang out space to chat with whoever is in the server but not as a space where I will be able to provide peer support.

Can I make a request for you to start the casual server?
You can try.
I will make no guarantees but if I am available, if I have enough energy, and if checked my inbox, I'll probably make it happen.

What can I talk about in the Peer Support server?
Almost anything.
Don't dox yourself or others, don't be abusive or make threats against others, but basically if it wouldn't break the rules here then it won't break the rules in the server.
For more a detailed and explicit explanation of the rules, the Server Ground Rules can be found at the bottom of this post.

What if I don't have anything to talk about?
I don't mind. You can just hang out in the server and play the game or be a part of the group.

Why are you offering this?
I used to be a peer worker and I have worked in the disability and mental health sectors. This is something that I have done professionally (only face to face, not online) and it's a way of providing support to this community if there is anyone who would like to chat or to seek peer support.
It can be hard to access mental health supports for a variety of reasons. This is my modest attempt to make accessing mental health supports a little bit easier.

Is this like a life coaching/neurodivergent coaching thing?
No. While I have been trained in different coaching methods, as it is a group space and as there isn’t necessarily continuity in how your accounts will appear to me in different sessions if you choose to change your details, along with the fact that there is no accountability and goal-tracking being offered alongside consistent bookings (not to mention that I will not be keeping casenotes on my end), formal coaching is beyond the scope of this server.
I may draw upon coaching methods in the server as I see fit but this server is not a suitable space for an ongoing coaching mode of support.

Are you a qualified therapist or doctor?
Absolutely not and I'm not attempting to be one.
I can offer support as a peer, I can share based on my own experiences and understanding of things, but I cannot be more than that.

Is this space a crisis service or an emergency service?
Absolutely not. I am not equipped to handle a mental health crisis for pseudo-anonymous people remotely via an online co-op game.
If you are in crisis, you will need to access the local crisis services available to you.
If it is an emergency, you will need to call your country's emergency number.

Is it a secure platform? How do I protect my identity in this game?
The public info on your Steam profile page will be visible to others so I strongly recommend setting your profile page to private and choosing a profile pic and setting the username to something that doesn't identify you and is generic to make it effectively unsearchable (e.g. using a name like Krupskaya or Azerty or Salton Sea). You can also make a burner Steam account for additional privacy if you like.
The platform is not secure (nor is this one that you're on now), so it is not like Matrix/Element. I strongly recommend using a VPN to conceal your IP. I cannot guarantee what the game has on the back end. Treat it a you would the Hexbear Visual Cuisine on cy.tube.
Be very careful about giving out too much info or info that is too specific. You can be vague, you can throw out false info about your situation, and you can simply choose not to divulge info at all.

How many people are permitted in the server at any given time?
There is a maximum of 12 people allowed in the server currently and it is first come, first serve.
I will try and keep an eye on the numbers and in the unlikely event that the server hits 10+ guests then I will invite people to consider whether they are ready to move on in order to allow other people to join.
I may choose to revise these numbers downwards based on the demands for moderation, my PC’s ability to cope with the demands of hosting the server, and to ensure that people in the server get a chance to chat with me.

What's the server's position on ableism?
Ableism targeting another person is strictly forbidden.
The use of ableist slurs and the denigration of people based on ability/disability is strictly forbidden.
Unfortunately our culture and language is deeply ableist. Casual use of ableist language is discouraged but it is not policed; examples of casual ableism are: "Is it dumb to feel this way?". "I feel like I'm stupid for not figuring this out earlier", and "My boss went completely psycho at me".
There are alternative words that can be used however this space recognises that self-expression is fundamental to its functioning and I cannot demand that people change their use of language instantaneously or to treat communication in the server like it's some sort of crossword puzzle they have to solve in order to get their message across.
"You are dumb" is absolutely not permitted. "[x group of marginalised people] are dumb" is absolutely not permitted. "Why do people have to act so dumb just because they see a guy wearing nail polish?" is a tolerated form of casual ableism in the server—although it is not condoned—while creativity and the use of alternative non-ableist terms is encouraged.
You will be able to prompt me to yap about this topic for as long as you care to listen if you happen to ask me about it in the server.

Are you insured for this?
No.
The pleasure is mine but the liability is yours.

Do you offer refunds?
Sure, but it's a free service so it's not worth asking for a refund on that.
Due to the current limitations of the time-space continuum, I will be unable to refund you your time.

Do you wear wigs?

Server Ground Rules:

  • No oppressive speech - no racism, sexism, queerphobia (including transphobia) etc.
  • Be respectful of others - be kind, don't be a jerk.
  • Don't record the server, don't spread the things that another person has said in the server around to others - if you have any concerns or complaints about my conduct or anyone else's then let me know either in the server or on Hexbear so I can address it.
  • Verbal warnings/kicks/bans are up to my discretion - adhere to the first three ground rules, keep the space safe for yourself and others, and you'll be fine.
  • Use of a VPN is strongly encouraged
  • Keep your OpSec practices in mind at all times
  • Consent is fundamental to every part of the server - you are always allowed to say that you don't want to do something or that you don't want to talk about something. Your choice will be upheld in the server.
  • I am not a therapist or a doctor and I cannot be a replacement for them
  • This is a casual peer support space not a crisis or emergency service.
  • There is a maximum of 12 people allowed in the server and it is first come, first serve
  • The server is for people who are 18+
  • Anyone who agrees to these ground rules is welcome to join the server
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How'd that last session go? Unfortunately I don't think I can attend this one either :(

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh that's a shame. Just keep in mind that the server may run longer than the scheduled 2 hour time slot depending on if I've got the energy in me to keep it going and based on demand so if you do happen to find yourself free around that time and you're interested, check the post as the lobby code may still be active.

How'd that last session go?

Honestly it exceeded my wildest expectations. I was thinking that I'd see 0-3 people, with 3 being the absolute ceiling. It got really busy so I stopped checking the number of guests in the server but at the point where I stopped checking we had hit 7 users at the same time. I didn't keep track of the total number of guests across the whole session though. I think I did a good job - I could feel myself having to engage some rusty skills that had fallen to disuse over a long time. This is not a complaint in any way but I found myself being challenged, in a good way, to do the peer support that was called for at certain points. I think some really valuable discussions were had - from my perspective I could see that there were some that were definitely producing something of value to the people who dropped in. (Of course you can never truly know what's going to resonate with others but there were at least couple of points where I felt like had done a good job of it.)

It's been quite a while since I've been in the peer support game so it's nice to know I've still got it in me.

Overall the server ran for about 5 hours! A pretty good effort, I'd say.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

That's good to hear. When you said you didn't expect anyone to show up I figured you were in for a surprise.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

It's really great. I'm so thankful for the overwhelming support from my comrades that I've received for this project, even the ones who haven't been able to attend yet due to other commitments and time zones being different and all of that.

People want to come and chat with me but circumstances get in the way so they feel disappointed that they have to miss a drop-in? I find that so touching. cri

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I should be able to make it for more time this time around!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Oh great, I'm looking forward to it!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

yippee, looking forward to it

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I'm looking forward to seeing you there!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Someone (not me lmao) want to start a <18 thread going? A minor probs. I know some peeps were feeling left out (but also more groups is chill/helps everyone in this case).

Whoever does it should probs be far stricter with "no inevitably messy topics" though but hell if I know

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Do you mean like a post for <18s? Or a server?

I had opened up an all-ages server that is just social to play the game in but I'm approaching this slowly and cautiously. I think that it's important to recognise that the site has had a lot of shakeups recently and that the admins are going to be feeling very risk-averse right now, with good reason.

My primary concern for the all-ages server is that it would be very easy to create a new episode of drama for this site in the server. That's the last thing that I want and I know it's the last thing that the site and the admins need right now. I'm not concerned with wrapping up <18 users on this site in cotton wool so much as I am with not wanting the server to be the place where more drama occurs. I know that the admins work hard to filter out the knuckleheads but it would be very easy to stir things up or to cause an incident - my primary concern is that an adult may engage in misconduct of some sort. Hence why I am being quite strict with the rules for the all-ages server.

Ultimately if there is any misconduct then its going to come down on me and quite possibly the admins of this site to deal with and I'd much rather be very clear and heavy-handed about it by putting everyone, particularly the adults, on notice that they are required to keep things age-appropriate. I also thing that it's important that a clear distinction is being made between the peer-support server and the all-ages casual server so that people don't just assumed that it's all one thing. And the moderation tools are very sparse so, all risk assessments aside, if it's a choice between me being stern about expectations for behaviour or having to play referee while watching the chat like a hawk for a few hours then it has to be me being stern about expectations because I would not be able to do the latter in a real-time environment on top of doing the peer support stuff. At which point the choice is pretty obvious because there are plenty of all-ages servers but the whole intent of this project is to provide peer support to mostly the people on Hexbear because that is far, far less common. And there's no reason why people who have made friends on this site can't host their own private servers themselves amongst their friends anyway.

[CW: Brief mention of child abuse ahead]

It's a tricky balancing act because an all-ages peer support server would require stricter moderation and certain topics would have to be out of bounds, thus limiting the discourse and the support available, but then there are ethical obligations with running a space like that for <18s, especially a duty of care and child protection - if a minor discloses that they are either being abused or they are at risk of abuse then that puts me in a very difficult spot because I don't know how to report child abuse to potentially all the different countries that people visit this site from and ultimately the deeper ethical issue there is that if the space is being used for providing support to a minor who is being abused then that risks them not accessing more appropriate services in their region who are able to escalate the issue with their local child protection agency in order to address it. Shit, I can't even refer a minor who is being abused out to an appropriate service in their area because that would require immense amounts of effort to put together.

I can't put my name to that, unfortunately. I am quite limited with personal resources due to my health. I have no organisation behind me so that I can escalate things to a manager or to follow through on reporting to a country that, potentially, I don't even speak the language of. And I'm not about to open myself up to the potential for a scandal around this, let alone the site and the admins.

I completely understand why <18s on this site might feel excluded by all this and I get it. It's just that the degree of risk, the ethical concerns, and generally demand it would place on me would be completely unrealistic and I can't change the circumstances I'm functioning under, I can only work to mitigate the risk. Like I can't even set the space to be for people who are 16+ - I can't do age verification, if I even had the capacity to do that, and so that leaves me with essentially one option. It sucks but that's just how it is.

So that's why the peer support server is 18+ and why there are strict rules that I have imposed on the casual server. Sorry for the long comment, I'm just aware that this topic was something that was going to be raised and I want to make sure that people understand that there are strict age-related rules not out of a paternalistic attitude or an intent to make <18s feel excluded but it's because of a comprehensive assessment of the risks and of the ethical implications. If anyone has a better plan for how to negotiate all of these competing concerns then I'd love to hear it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No worries, and I fully agree with all you said. As when we talked ingame about it- I wouldn't want to touch it with a 10 foot pole (and I figure you wouldn't either/am not pushing for you to, absolutely).

Was just tossing out the idea since certain people are probably best making their own server/chats for that, I guess. Really don't want to touch it myself and wouldn't expect even the admins here to want to. Basically a "ehh someone (ideally <18), why don't you all chat together" (not me ofc/obvs).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For sure, it's just the first time that this question has been raised on the site in the comments so uhhhhhh... you win the lucky prize of getting a essay on child protection and risk-assessments in your replies.

Basically a "ehh someone (ideally <18), why don't you all chat together"

I feel like I'm about to do it to you again but here goes - I'm super uncomfortable with making a post on here getting users to openly identify their age or their status as a minor. It just seems very risky for a number of reasons and then if there's gonna be that and an unmoderated server happens then it concerns me that a predator might see that as the perfect opportunity.

I know I must sound like a person who is paranoid about risk but on the other hand - have you seen the internet?? That ratfuck Steve Huffman, of Reddit CEO fame, was a moderator of jailbait and that other CEO came out in defense of ViolentAcrez for being a mod of creepshots. I'm not saying this place is the same but as far as I'm concerned the internet is crawling with creeps.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

True. I figured just saying "hey kids go uh do your thing over there" would be helping, but in hindsight it was lax of me. In truth hell if I know what they're to do (they'll figure it out, is how the world works?). I definitely didn't want to be a part of it myself as stated, so- I have at least that bit of paranoia/sense to it as well, I guess, but even then I stumbled as sometimes happens with saying it, maybe.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You're good, if you haven't been trained in all this stuff it's not fair to expect that you'd know it. I just wanted to respond to the idea before it got legs, is all. It's genuinely a good idea but the risk of creeps is too damn high.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh you'd best believe it!

I know it's only 2 hours before we go live with it but would you like to be added to the ping list? I have started sending out pings when the server goes live as well as when a new announcement post goes up (+ you'll get pinged when the ad-hoc, non-peer support server goes live too.)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So long, and thanks for the fish niko-speen

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Thanks for stopping by rat-salute-2

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i visited for a few minutes before social anxiety got the best of me, thank you for hosting it's good exposure therapy lol fidel-salute

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Heck yeah, comrade - that's exactly what we're here for!

I'm really glad that you could drop in. Maybe some day we'll even get to chat, but all in due time.

Feel free to pop in and out as much as you like, even within the same session. The intent for the server is to have a supportive environment that facilitates people's learning and growth. If you're doing exposure therapy by popping in and out then you're using the server in exactly the way I had hoped it would be used and that makes me happy.

Make sure you leave a little bit of room for feeling proud of yourself today. You did great!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

noooooooooooooooo I missed it goshdarnit I think I misread the time and set a reminder for exactly two hours late, so it's already too late to join :(((

better luck to me next time

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

~~We're still going tho!~~ It looks like we're winding down now.

Just fyi - the lobby code will be available as long as the server is running. I'll delete the code and change it to "Server Closed" when the party's over. I tend to run overtime intentionally - I'll make a commitment to a certain period of time in the post and then as long as I'm not exhausted and if people want to keep going then I'll keep it going.

So just because you might have missed that 2-hour window doesn't mean that you can't come in a bit later, as long as you can find that lobby code in the comment/post body.

I think I misread the time and set a reminder for exactly two hours late, so it's already too late to join :(((

Time zones are such a pain. Don't worry, there will be another one soon.

I'm considering pinging people via Element when I go live with the server. I have to figure out how to use Element yet but if you're on there and you're comfortable with adding me then I can send you a message when we go live so you're less likely to miss it in future.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh hell yeah Webfishing is fun as hell floppy-owl

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

We pier-ing and peer-ing up in here!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Listening to the watch party of lena raine's new OST at the same time, perfect combo : https://radicaldreamland.bandcamp.com/live/beastieball-original-sound-track-listening-party

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

its so good i love the smrpg bits

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thank you for hosting this again, it's really nice to hop on even if it's just to chill and talk a bit (or react to being able to fish in very strange places). My spoons are ralsei-splat but I'm hoping I'll have more energy next time!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks so much for coming along! It wouldn't be anything if not for people like you who are generous with their time. It means a lot that you'd come along even though you're low on spoons.

May you have more spoons than a restaurant supply store but, even if you don't, remember the low-spoonie gang is welcome to just come in and vibe, always.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Excellent, thanks so much for the link!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

no problem :3

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

If you happened to be struggling with keyboard input this time in the server and you happen to see this message, this is the app I was talking about which turns your android phone into a sort of bluetooth keyboard.

It might be a little bit awkward having to switch between your device and then using your phone for keyboard input but it might make things somewhat more accessible for you. Thanks for coming along I appreciate the effort you had to go to in order to contribute :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

So um, I joined but forgot there was a vc. I don't have an element account yet so I could only see chats in-game. I had fun wandering around while I could though, thank you so much for hosting and hopefully I can participate more next time. I'd love to be added to the ping list too, if there's still room.

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