chapotraphouse

when i see how very affluent men live when they don't have a doting-mother / maid... like this shit. even if he weren't an absolute turd out in the world, i could not respect him for living like this. this is how a toddler with a credit card would live: the feeding room is a giant screen, a big nap chair aimed at it, and 20lbs of frozen fish on a bun with ketchup.

like jesus, you're rich as fuck. in DC. order in for chrissakes. or hire some personal chef to drop you off stuff you can reheat. what a weird ass gremlin.

Is he divorced because this is major divorced energy

who knew even multimillionaire finance ghouls could be hot couch guys

he's such a weirdo I can't even presume he cooked the salmon first

steamed salms

Dude what the fuck, I don't like salmon but how the hell is drowning it in ketchup going to make it better!? The bourgeois are not human.

What a fucking waste of fancy ass Alaskan salmon.

What a fucking freak.

Binders full of ketchup

fuck, m-rom, try baking it with a little bread crumb on it or something

As a salmon enjoyer I am crying rn

There are so many easy way to prepare salmon this is nuts. You can literally season and bake, or put in a small amount of effort to pan fry (you just let it sit skin side down for ages to crisp up well). Farmed salmon can almost ubiquitously be thawed, cut, and eaten as sushi.

If I had tons of money I’d just pay someone to smoke my salmon.

I hate that these people rule over me

Maybe we can get Rommney a hexbear account. Im sure some users could teach him a healthier lifestyle.

I do that shit with food that I don't really like but have anyway. I'm a little surprised to see a multimillionaire do it

figures the heinz guy puts ketchup on everything lmao

Of course a filthy Utah'n wouldn't know how to prepare fish

i hate that I empathize with that last part, i do be stooping low for food due to lack of motivation and self care

Really easy recipe for salmon that I used all the time when I was off my meds and could barely fathom getting a plate out of the cupboard.

Get a salmon filet out of the freezer. You haven’t been shopping in weeks, but buy these in bulk, so there’s just a pile of them in an otherwise empty freezer.

Put the filet in a little pan. The pan is still on the stove because this has been every meal for 3 days.

Put some water in the pan. Enough to have about half the salmon covered. If you put too much water in, you’re now making British food, which is gross. Your ADHD is ravaging your life. You will almost certainly forget about the pan while cooking it for a minute or two and water stops it from creating a toxic cloud of Tony Chachere’s or from burning the one side of the salmon.

Dump in some seasoning. Get the amount wrong several meals in a row until you figure out the kind and amount that you want.

Cover with a lid and cook. The water will boil. You’ll probably wanna flip it at some point. Again, fuck this up repeatedly meal after meal until you figure out what works best. You’ll overcook it. You’ll undercook it. Eventually you’ll figure out the right amount of water, seasoning, and time to somehow make boiled salmon flaky and tasty without endangering yourself.

Dump the water. Eat it out of the pan with a plastic fork. Do not think about microplastics. Stand in the kitchen for about an hour. What do you do for that hour? Who’s to say? This whole process probably already took you about 2 hours for some reason.

If you ever get medicated again, you’ll be pretty good at cooking salmon. This is more or less how I’ve learned every single dish I’m good at making. Get depressed, prepare it as an obsession food, and just iterate until your life has a hint of joy in it.

Do not add ketchup, you heathen.

Everyone weighing in with their recipes. Lots of garlic salt, then so much cayenne that you can't see the fish anymore. Saute in butter. Obviously inspired by blackened fish recipes but stripped down to the absolute essentials.

This me except the tv is my phone