this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh my god I love this, thanks for posting!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Fr cracking up

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (3 children)

TIL ham stands are a thing.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

And here I thought it's just a hand stand by someone with a speech impediment!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Those Costco serano hams cost a few hundred bucks!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Pro tip: cats can't open doors

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Oh they very much can.

When I was a kid, ours opened the doors by jumping at the door handles. Grabbing them and pulling them down.

They even taught their kittens

We had to install all handles so they pointed upwards, just so the cats couldn't grab them

But even that only lasted a couple months until they learned to latch onto them anyway and wiggle around until their weight pulled the handle to the side and opened the door

Clever fluffy bastards

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Handles? Luxury! We have a cat that can grip and twist a doorknob with both paws. She needs a nearby windowsill to sit on, so there's only one door where she can do it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You could lock your doors, but then again next thing you know you find your cat watching locksmith lawyer and clawing its way in.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

One or two of ours have discovered how to turn on the heated blanket.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Overlap between the dumbest humans and the smartest cats"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I don't know if my cat understood what the button did or if it was just because he knew he could get my attention, but my cat knew how to turn off my computer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Surprised no one though of round knobs instead

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

They are simply not a thing where I live (also quite annoying to use compared to a handle)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Totally. We had to switch to round nobs on the doors for this very thing.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago

This is the last thing cats hear before they start opening the doors in your house.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago

Sweet summer child

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have caught one of my cats opening some doors

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

mine will rattle the handle until I open it for her, and after about fifteen seconds she'll do it herself. she's adorable.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Some cats can open doors, the others will just keep reaching underneath them and flicking the doorstop spring until someone opens it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

pro tip: to keep your cats from being unable to open doors, install knobs. we have handles.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That cat…isn’t jumping. They’re being held for the photo

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

To be charitable, it's possible they mean the cat was caught with hands mid-jump, not caught on camera.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Haha I mean you’d have to be veeeerrry charitable

Caught in someone’s hands, mid-air, at the same time someone snapped a photo

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

yep. it's quite obvious if you take a closer look

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I had a cat that was a total food fiend. Eating pizza was hard because he'd try to get some for himself.

When I would make burgers on the grill, the food I prepped in the kitchen - bun, lettuce, tomato, etc. - had to go in the microwave or he'd grab them while I was working at the grill. He was relentless.

One time I had some friends over and warned them to watch the food. They didn't believe me when I said how quick he could be. Later, I found part of a burger in my bed.

Another time, he and I were staying at my parents place, and I got up one morning after they had left for work and noticed a red spot on his white fur. I asked my mom about it - turns out he had pushed a cake in a container off the counter to get some icing that was on the outside edge, and the spot was icing.

He had a lot of food allergies, so he could only eat one specific variety of prescription cat food, which he didn't like very much. That's what drove a lot of his actions. I couldn't blame him. Unfortunately, the food allergies were IBS that eventually evolved into cancer.

I miss him. He's been gone 10 years now, and I still think of him a lot.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When I was a kid we did one of those adventure outings with zip lines and obstacle courses on the wooded back area of an old farm. The farm had a couple dogs that were notorious for stealing food as a pair. We were warned but we could never have been ready. One dog waltzed right into our lunch circle and flopped for belly rubs. The other dog started grabbing brown bags full of food. When he was done the dog doing the distraction jumped up and sprinted away. The employees knew what was happening as soon as the first dog rolled over though. So we did get our lunches back.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

That is amazing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Snowball. That was his shelter name, but I'm a fan of the Simpsons, so I had to keep it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Why couldn’t that Chrysler hit me instead.

RIP snowball, You were a good cat I hear.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He really was. My best friend. We had so many adventures together.

When my wife and I were getting serious, she said something like, "I'm not sure what to do about Snowball. I don't think he likes me." I said, "Are you serious? He loves you! Why do you think he curls up on you when you're laying on the couch? That cat might like you more than me." She had grown up with dogs and just didn't know cat language.

Snowball is gone, and a kitten we adopted late in Snowball's life has also passed away from medical issues (and that one hurts so much, too - poor thing was only 7 years old - at least Snowball got a normal cat lifespan). But we have three cats now, and a dog.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm a simple man and have never seen a ham harness before.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I've never seen ham look like that before, it's fucking huge! I've not even seen ham even close to a quarter of that size.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Does it make you regrow teeth?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Perfectly captures holidays with cats

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

What the heck is wrong with their shoulder?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Ha! That's pretty funny. Are those hams good? Are they worth the hundreds of dollars that they cost?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

This fake bullshit would be more entertaining if it didn't have a cancer media caption at the top.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 week ago