this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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House Republicans closed out the week by canceling votes on two party-line funding bills in the span of 48 hours, a setback for new Speaker Mike Johnson and a sign of persisting dysfunction in the chamber ahead of a key funding deadline.

They pulled a transportation-housing bill late Tuesday as some coastal Republicans opposed cuts to Amtrak. And they yanked a financial services and general government measure on Thursday morning that included divisive anti-abortion language.

It's a step backward for Johnson, R-La., who had hoped to show progress on appropriations bills championed by his party's conservative wing in order to secure their votes to pass a short-term bill that would keep the government open beyond the Nov. 17 deadline.

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[–] [email protected] 107 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I think the correct phrase should be “We can’t govern”.

We are ungovernable makes it sound like this is something that just happened to the GOP

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Mistakes were made

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

More like “we are unherdable”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

More like not interested in governing at all

[–] [email protected] 63 points 9 months ago

Yes the Republican party is ungovernable as they have shown time and time again, you evangelical cunt.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 9 months ago (3 children)

"I don't think the Lord Jesus himself could manage this group," said Rep. Troy Nehls, R-Texas.

I think it's presumptuous to assume that Lord Jesus wants anything to do with them.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

It's really just common sense that the Jesus in the Bible would never run as a Republican. And if he did, he'd never get elected because the Republican base think he's too liberal and weak.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

For real. I can't name a group more gleefully sinful and un-Christ-like than the modern GOP.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm Jewish and, as such, not an expert on Jesus. Still, from what I know of him, Biblical Jesus was a fan of free healthcare (he healed the sick without charging them), feeding the hungry, and hanging out with the poor/not the rich.

If Biblical Jesus were to appear right now, he'd be regarded as a socialist. A brown skinned, Jewish, immigrant socialist to boot. Definitely, not the Republicans' favorite combination.The only reason he'd walk into a Republican conference would be to flip some tables over.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

They would definitely be asking about his birth certificate

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

he healed the sick without charging them

This is one of the secretly most interesting things in the entire New Testament.

You are correct, that unanimously in Mark, Matthew, and Luke the apostles are instructed to go out and heal the sick and spread the gospel without carrying a purse. This necessarily would have made monetary collections impossible, and instead they were told they could accept meals and shelter.

But then at the last supper in Luke, Jesus is like "Hey guys, remember when I said you can't carry a purse? Well let's 180° that, and now do carry purses."

The thing is, this part of Luke isn't present in Marcion's version, which was likely one of the earliest surviving versions of the text.

So you go from Mark, the earliest Synoptic, where the instruction was not to collect money for acting in a religious capacity, to the other two gospels which copy from Mark on this point, and then sometime later on an editor's hand reverses an instruction supposedly direct from Jesus that was cramping their fundraising efforts.

And that version is what's in the Bible promoted by the organization which built the Vatican and literally even sold salvation directly during the middle ages.

So technically for literalists the Bible's Jesus at face value directs the opposite of what you said shortly before death, but even a modicum of critical thinking reveals some shifty shit on exactly the point you raise.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Somalian pirates are the only thing that comes to mind.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I mean when there's nothing to live for in a country so fucked, can you blame them?

Unlike the GOP, they have options.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

"Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?!"

[–] [email protected] 44 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It's just threat of government shutdown on repeat these years it seems. First it was years between events, now we're on what? Months? Weeks almost. It's like they can't come to any form of consensus unless the fabric of the US hangs on them doing so. Like a porn addict that can only cum if he's watching some deranged shit.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Accurate, but I didn't need that image in my head 🤢

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Like a porn addict that can only cum if he's watching some deranged shit.

We already know that we are talking about republicans.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well the best part of this is we can find out exactly what kind of deranged shit Speaker Johnson is into!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It only happens when there is a republican house and a democratic president.

For republicans, it's win-win. Either they get what they want, or they get to blame the democrat president for the damage they cause.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Apparently voters have wisened up, because the shutdowns seem to hurt Republicans more than Democrats.

McConnell claimed as much, and I'm inclined to actually believe him since there's bipartisan agreement and compromise going on in the Senate. He seems to genuinely want to keep the government funded, which suggests there's truth to what he's saying.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

McConnell may be a hateful, duplicitous ghoul, but he's not a complete nihilist like his house bedfellows. He knows the game to siphon wealth from his constituents to his donors depends on actual stability and prosperity.

The old guard Republicans know the GOP platform is actually counterproductive. And they know that this new class of true believers and actual fascists are going to bring it all down eventually, either by actually destroying the planet, or sufficiently repulsing too many voters.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I don't think they care about destroying the planet. In the short term, the bullshit they've been pulling has been flipping local elections... And without the ability to gerrymander, Republicans are fucked on a way shorter time frame

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (8 children)

What I'm getting out of this is these Neanderthals can't do their jobs.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Neanderthals were very skilled and were definitely able to do their jobs. These chucklefucks, on the other hand...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hey boss, sorry going to get you that funding, just have to take 6 months off work first and we will revisit this.

Hey boss, still know you want that money, so we need a bit more time, we are going to kick out the speaker then do cocaine until we elect a new one. Thanks bye!

Hey boss, I just sexually assaulted Roe V. Wade, looks like you got a real problem that you are going to have to take care of. Sorry and wish you the best! <3

Hey boss, good news is we elected a speaker, but we don't like him, so we are going to need 45 days to do the whole "money thing" again. I know you wish you could fire me, but get used to it bitch.

Hey boss, looks like we are coming on that deadline....

/satire

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

...coming on that deadline...

Ew. Also, apt. Not sure if it was a typo or not, but if it was, keep it.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

How entirely expected.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Hear me out: If the GOP could just, I don't know, at least talk to the other 49% of the House, they may be able to get at least some of the things they want.

Apparently I'm really optimistic today.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Who would've thunk that the speaker is not the root of the problem?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well if he’d stop wanking off at work because it’s the only computer that doesn’t have covenant eyes he can access…

He might get something done.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

That poor gavel.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Either there's a shutdown or Johnson is out by Dec 1

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The cabbage hasn't even rotted yet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Can we reuse the one from Liz Truss?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (3 children)

We should demand that every person that works in the capital building lose all government benefits and pay while the government is shut down. It's insane that they pay absolutely no consequences for acting like petulant children instead of doing the job they were elected to do

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, this is a bad idea. This will unfairly punish poorer Congress m (like AOC and Bernie Sanders).

Mitt Romney has enough money to survive not being paid for a few days or weeks. Honestly, Mitt Romney's congressional pay is a drop in the ocean that is his vast net worth.

AOC really depends on her congressional salary to be able to afford basic stuff. Cutting off that money could be devastating for poor members of Congress. They could lose their house (singular) or be unable to pay other bills.

At best, cutting off congressional pay will discourage not wealthy people from running for office. At worst, it could be used as a weapon by the right to punish representatives they don't like.

Instead, we should prevent Congress members from leaving the capitol building until they pass a budget. Not for food. Not to go home and sleep. Not for a walk. This'll affect everyone evenly, and will probably be more motivating after a couple of days.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nearly every way you can think of to get the Republicans to do their jobs they'll find a way to make it backfire. They straight up can't be trusted with power. The only thing they excel at is fucking things up.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Eh, I can think of a few ways, but it involves a 20 pound bag of ice a deep fryer and a woodchiper.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

*Every Congress person. No sense in punishing the poor functionaries just because the Republicans are all fuck with.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

We should go a step further and go after their retirement benefits for the entirety of their term that a shutdown occurs during. Or void it permanently.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

New house leadership in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2..

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

do they.. do they think that's a good thing to be?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:


This week, Johnson held multiple meetings with groups of rank-and-file Republicans about a path forward on a short-term funding bill, known as a continuing resolution or CR.

Republicans said Johnson will need to make a call on a CR strategy by Friday to abide by the 72-hour rule, which gives lawmakers sufficient time to read the legislation before voting on it early next week.

Like the financial services measure, several of the remaining House appropriations bills have anti-abortion provisions, which could make it similarly difficult to win the votes of politically endangered Republicans.

The issue has sparked fresh anxiety within the GOP after another poor election night earlier this week in which voters in a diverse array of states punished the party for its hard-line opposition to legal abortion.

Before they pulled the financial services bill on Thursday, 165 Republicans voted for an amendment by Rep. Claudia Tenney, R-N.Y., to cut White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre's salary to $1.

Conservatives also were furious over the failure of another amendment — authored by a key Trump ally, Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla. — that would have barred funding to acquire property for the new planned FBI headquarters.


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