this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2023
749 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12314 readers
229 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 183 points 11 months ago (13 children)

Why would you try to sneak a gun into any medical test area? Even if you didn't know an mri will fuck with a gun, what is the motivation to try to sneak a gun into a medical test room?

[–] [email protected] 194 points 11 months ago (3 children)

A liberal might make her gay when she least expects it!

[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (12 children)

Holy shit I had a conversation the other day with a dude who said, "democrats just want to touch children and change their genitalia"

He went off about how democrats want to change pedophile name and be more accepting. I told him people don't say that. Only pedophiles do. He went off about how democrats are pedophiles.

He went off about how schools, doctors, and liberal agenda is allowing the mutilation of children's genitalia.

Taking something he says is fact and blowing into the massive majority of all Democrat fundamentals.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago

ask him what he thinks of circumcion without consent at young age and I bet he will defend that without hesitation

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

In that situation, the best thing to do is agree with them and then start telling them about how voting is a way for the goverment to track you and/or .. plant .. fucking alien brocolli seeds in your brain or something, so never ever vote

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (3 children)

They turned me into a newt.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No one's giving her 5G on her watch!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (16 children)

Cowardice. People that think they need a gun on them at all times are paranoid cowards... Which also makes them the last people who should be able to own a gun.

load more comments (16 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Routinely carrying a concealed handgun can create considerable difficulties when a person unexpectedly ends up somewhere they can't do so. Leaving it in a car is a significant risk for theft (and stolen guns get used for bad things). Leaving it with medical staff isn't great. Leaving it unattended outside an exam room presents obvious dangers to anyone who might happen upon it.

It's hard to find yourself in an MRI room without adequate warning that anything magnetic will become a projectile though. I think most places give the patient both written and verbal warnings, and the article here says this patient was warned about metal and specifically about guns.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They literally give you a locker when you go in for an MRI because you have to spend so long naked. This was never a problem for her. She's just stupid.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Facilities vary. I didnt have secure storage when I got an MRI, but I didnt bring a gun or anything else unreasonable to leave unattended.

The question wasn't whether she's stupid (clearly she is), but why someone would bring a gun into a medical exam.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Is this different in the states? In Germany every time I had to enter one of those I had to put away every single metallic item on me, including piercings and shit. They warn you very thoroughly that you cannot bring metal objects with you because of the high magnetic forces of the machine.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 145 points 11 months ago (3 children)

If only there'd been a another, good MRI machine with a gun present.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

I read this story as the MRI machine being the good guy and successfully defending itself

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 82 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I can see the thinking that lead to this. But in my mind, it boils down to one bad decision after other, concealing the firearm because each step forward carries worse consequences. It's basically the clown-makeup meme:

  1. Carry gun around because that's what I always do.
  2. Walk into hospital - whoops, I'll just keep it concealed so I don't get in trouble. Can't hand it over to someone either, or leave it in my car; that's a felony.
  3. Check in for appointment - can't back out now, it took forever to get this appointment and there's a penalty for a no-show.
  4. Change clothes for MRI - can't leave my gun lying around, that's also a no-no and someone could get hurt. I'll just tuck it... somewhere.
  5. Walk into MRI exam room - had to say "no" about metal on my person. These medical people are overly careful anyways.
  6. Actively getting an MRI - what's the worst that could happen?

Do we need airport-style backscatter x-rays prior to MRI procedures now? In hindsight, it seems like cheap insurance.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for the hypothetical explanation. I was utterly unable to figure out how something so insane actually happened. This at least makes some sort of sense.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You'd think a metal detector would be mandatory in all MRI departments before you enter?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 73 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I hope the machine is fine

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago (8 children)

A bit of trivia: it used to be called NMRI, nuclear magnetic resonance imaging. They dropped the N after it became clear people didn't want to go in the machine because they were afraid of radiation. That's why it's called MRI now.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (8 children)

In Chemistry (where it originated) it is still called NMR. There is no image produced, but a spectrum (graph).

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (22 children)

As she was about to enter the machine, the gun was attracted to the powerful magnet inside it and fired off a single round into and through her right buttock. Luckily, the bullet barely penetrated her skin and the doctor on site described her entry and exit wounds as “very small and superficial.”

There is no way the MRI wasn't damaged. Other hospital go'ers will be footing that bill. She should be garneshed wages for the rest of her life until those repairs are paid.

"Lucky" would be the bullet being lodged in her body, doing no further damage except to her idiot self so she would learn her lesson without impacting others.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

This person took a loaded gun into a hospital, and then into the giant magnet room. Not sure they're capable of learning any kind of lesson.

load more comments (21 replies)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe next time dont lie to medical staff.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

To quote Gregory House, everybody lies.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"IDK how this gun ended up inside my butthole. I must have fallen on it."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 11 months ago

Oh no! Is the MRI machine okay? The article doesn't say anything about it.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago (8 children)

Lucky it wasn't worse. You can't have any metal on in a huge rotating magnet. Dumb is gonna dumb.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Oh no. ~~A CT scanner is a giant rotating electromagnet~~. An MRI is a giant quantum electromagnetic tube. It’s so, so much worse. It is literally unpredictable as to what might happen with metal inside of it. She’s lucky she wasn’t literally torn to shreds.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (1 children)

With the cost and risks of MRI machines, why aren't there metal detectors at the entrance?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Weird that they didn't have her change into a gown first. Or maybe they did, in which case where did she put-- you know what never mind that's enough internet for today

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pounded in the Butt by My Own Gun

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (3 children)

She got off way easier than the metal butt plug guy. This one was just a flesh wound.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Whoever gave the MRI machine a gun needs to be fired.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

a gun needs to be fired.

--The MRI Machine

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago

Muricans and science don´t mix ...

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Woman Enters MRI Machine With a Gun, Gets Shot in Butt

What's the next line in this lyrics

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Woman Enters MRI Machine With a Gun,

(Gets Shot in the Butt)

She been a dumbass since a teen, you know she dat one,

(Face like a mutt)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

Gotta be strapped at all times. Liberal doc might give her a covid booster.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm so tired of these news. The MRI has the right to self-defense!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

you're supposed to swap to your attack dog and wooden baseball bat loadout when you enter an MRI room, dipshit

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

"I knew I couldn't trust that damn MRI!"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Did this happen again, or is it the same one as before?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

With all of the police at any given hospital, it's interesting that this woman wasn't arrested and charged. Discharging a concealed handgun in a hospital? Just American things!

Also, I love how she lied about having a gun, apparently not understanding that they're about to walk into the most dangerous place on Earth to possess metal. Remember the buttplug MRI story? Like, these damn libruls are going to take my gun away if I tell them about it!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›