Idk it's not the worst name ever. Definitely sounds like a "kooky millennial parents wanted an interesting name" name. But there's worse. Much worse. He should've told her where it came from though, kinda a dumb thing to not involve your wife in. You know. The name of her child.

I definitely think they can and are often overdone. Where I'm from civilian fireworks use is very uncommon unless you're out in the sticks. So we get at most 2 municipal fireworks display per year, New year's eve and Canada day. New year's eve fireworks happen some years and don't others.

I personally love fireworks. The awe of the display is never lost upon me. I can see it becoming old if it's something you deal with all the time. That isn't an issue here though and I always step outside to watch them when a display is done locally.

Thank you for vouching for her CC 😊

Love the choker and your eyeliner 😍 have a lovely weekend!!

I appreciate you providing the content warning. It's alright to have those understandable fears. I agreed for a very long time, and I used to present androgynous and not correct people who misgendered me because I thought I would only ever be happy with myself and be accepted by others if I appeared cis in every conceivable way.

The thing is, thinking that way actually impedes your ability to pass. Passing is not a product of any individual thing but many things, and how people perceive and respond to you depends on lots of factors many of them do not do with physiological gender signifiers. I spent years denying myself everything I ever wanted. I wore loose baggy clothes, I didn't try with my skincare or haircare, I would obsess about the way people perceived me and tear myself apart in the mirror over every little detail. I was making myself miserable, and holding myself back and being so obviously insecure about these things actually made me less likely to pass. Fully embracing my style and showcasing my curves and my skin has made a massive difference in the likelihood of me passing. I rarely do not pass anymore.

Hiding a part of yourself is never going to make you happy. If you want to be happy someday, and you should you deserve to live a happy life, then you have to stop setting limits past which you're allowed to be happy. To be clear, I understand wanting to wait till you've been on hormones. I really do, I did wait myself. I also then waited 7 years before i allowed myself to wear dresses in public. And embrace my own femininity I'm visible ways, wore clothes that accentuated my body instead of hiding it. All things I'd wanted to do for years but I didn't, because I didn't think I would pass and therefore wouldn't allow myself.

It's okay if you can't today, or if you still want to wait. This was just my experience and I thought it worthwhile to share. Far fewer people are scrutinizing us that closely than it feels like. You're beautiful and it's important that you believe that too. I know it sounds stupid or corny or whatever. But next time you look at yourself in the mirror and that voice pops up pointing out all those little dysphoria inducing details, try and notice a few things you like about how you look. Write them down. Try and look for them again when you're feeling dysphoric. Good body image is a process.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with gatekeeping and transphobia from your friend and your parents. 😔 I'm glad that you recognize that your friend is being bigoted towards you. Dysphoria is not what makes someone transgender! Being transgender is "not identifying with (or not entirely identifying with) your assigned gender" and can mean literally anything beyond that. She has absolutely no right to say that to you. You deserve to be supported, not put down by someone who's supposed to be there for you!

Whether someone else genders you correctly doesn't make you a woman, you are one no matter how other people refer to you. I know you said that you struggle to stand up for yourself, but you don't have to let someone try and take that from you. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love and support you! You deserve kindness, compassion, and respect. I know that it might not be possible for you to demand those things for yourself, but make sure you remember that internally. If someone isn't respecting you, you do not have to keep talking with them or engaging with them. It's possible to be non-confrontational while making clear that you won't engage with someone who doesn't treat you with respect!

I waited years to come out to certain people and much longer to be completely out publicly full time. You need some friends and supporters on your side. Many transfem people do not pass. If you're active in trans groups you'll definitely notice transfem people who don't pass in them. You don't owe it to anyone to look a certain way before you can be yourself. Your body belongs only to you, and the standards of society shouldn't hold you back from being yourself. There's lots of online trans groups, discords, matrix groups and what not where you can try coming out and socializing with other trans people. May be a good way to build up some courage to handle harder in person coming-outs.

HRT is also not a requirement to be transgender and being on hormones does not make you any more or less trans than anyone else. You're already trans today, and if you come out now, you being or not being on hormones won't affect the response you should receive from friends and loved ones.

Hope my rambles helped, and welcome to transfem!

So happy for you!! It's amazing that your daughter is so enthusiastically supportive of your journey in self discovery :) that support is invaluable. It sounds like you have some great ideas on ways you can explore your gender and examine your gender feelings in an environment that feels safe with support from your family.

Processing your gender as you explore it is hard, and I can understand how it can be hard for spouses as well. However, your wife should be patient and understanding with you, and when you tell her that this is a serious thing for you and you need her genuine support through this. It's not fair to you to get the "Yeah right" treatment about this. It will take time for her to process, that's fair. But she shouldn't diminish your feelings through this. I hope she lends you full support in whatever you choose to do, even in the event of going to a con in full Gothic Lolita 😊 which btw sounds absolutely amazing haha. My exploration of gender was very quiet and at home and normative. I only started really expressing myself through fashion and presentation a lot this year.

All they had to do was construct a society where the working class is exposed exclusively to neoliberal propaganda from birth until death. Several generations onwards, and here we are. Class consciousness is essentially none amongst large swaths of the working class population.

We keep saying that. But if you told me a decade ago that roe v wade would be overturned and an open fascist would be the likely next president and scotus also just ruled that presidents are literally not beholden to any laws then I'd have said the same thing.

I wonder how long now until the north and south separate. I'm semi facetious, I don't see how this situation can be resolved from this point. The Supreme Court has to go or else this ends one of 2 ways.

If Biden overturned the decision that gave Donald Trump immunity, then the southern republican states would almost certainly rebel. If Donald Trump takes power as a king in January, then the northern Democratic states will almost certainly rebel.

Pre transition I wasn't subjected to it so, I only ever knew it as it was applied to other people. It was gross and exploitative but not in a way that I personally experienced. There was a bit of detachment from that, I didn't properly recognize it for what it was because my own dysphoria and discomfort made me somewhat oblivious to it.

When I first transitioned the male gaze felt like some metric I had to compare myself to if I wanted to be accepted. I started to subtly invalidate myself by all the ways my body differed from what was expected of me as a woman. It became a source of constant self dismissal and a feeling that I didn't live up to expectations of womanhood, and therefore wouldn't be accepted as a woman.

After several years of hormones and then bottom surgery I started to gain confidence in myself and I started to notice a lot more the way men look at me. The experience has honestly sucked as much as it is validating. I know I look good, that I'm conventionally attractive. I'm uncomfortable in a lot of settings due to that. I'm good at hiding my discomfort and maintaining my confidence even when I'm being leered at. But nontheless it makes me feel gross a lot of the time. I'm a gay woman, so it also feels like a part of me is being consumed without my consent just by me passively existing somewhere. Like going to the grocery store and noticing the guy staring at you standing next to his wife. He should know the way him staring makes me feel but if he does know he doesnt care. The way people treat me is totally different too. People being genuinely very nice and happy to speak with me. It's made me understand in a personal way not just how passing is a privilege but being seen as desirable by men is too. I'm still young so my experiences are still growing. I want to be a mom someday and I think a lot about how my children will be subjected to this too.