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this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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weird uncomfortable sex/dysphoria/sexual anatomy posting
I already know VERY well that I have worse than no interest in sticking everyone's least favourite external genitalia into anything or anyone, and like oral sex is also fucking terrible. I can't really tell how okay I am with treating it like a clit, I guess. I think it's okay...? maybe?
And more generally, would I even mind having it if I could tuck at all? The most common thought I have about anything below the belt is that I need to learn to tuck.
I know it also kind of bugs me that my front is not flat when pressed against a partner, even though pressing it against stuff feels pretty good. Apply pressure. Clit is definitely vastly improved after longterm ESTROGEN WITHERING
at least, like low-to-zero sex fluids is cool, but I feel weird and undecided about it I guess.
I have no desire to recieve re: insertive sex, now or ever, and I can't even really picture how that would feel with a vag honestly, bad interroception again. It almost feels weird to imagine myself with different anatomy, but I think that's more because the idea of dramatically altering my body like that is unreal to my brain, since it can't happen yet, y'know.
One of the things that really destroyed my ability to even think about this subject was, again,
en bee 
because as a teen I really wanted bottom surgery due to self hate, and then when I became less of a loser I really wanted it because my micro brain figured I was just supposed to. Removed of all the cisnormative assumptions, though... what do I actually want? How do I feel about the anatomical options available to me??? Idek.
more weird and uncomfortable shit
How are you even supposed to know what to feel about various fuckin genital configurations without the sexual motivation? It seems like a lot of people have that as a driving force for whatever anatomy choices they make, but if I ask me about the subject, nothing above the brainstem with regards to this. I assume I have feelings about it, maybe this is some kind of trauma block again. I don't even know.spoiler
I know of at least one ace enby who picked zero depth vaginoplasty. No need for sex, so no need for a cavity. One of my friends is similar but she's not ace (also hasnt had it yet). Just not interested in being penetrated.spoiler
Huh, so 90% of the issue just gets discarded? Interesting. I guess they'd probably use the sensitive parts to construct the clitoris anyway?spoiler
Yeah same as penile inversion, the clitoroplasty is the same for both just retains some of the old glans and moves stuff around. You can even get a cavity in later if you change your mind. You still get labia and everything, looks just like a bog standard birth vagina.spoiler
Woah really? I did not know you had the choice to get a cavity put in later, banger. Cool!spoiler
WAIT YOU CAN GET LABIA WITH BOTTOM SURGERY?!I uh, did not know that. The (handful) of pictures I'd seen didn't appear to have any/visible inner labia. That's pretty cool. Also being able to get depth later is pretty cool. I assumed it was one of those, pick now and forever hold you peace kinda things.
Nullification sounds fun.