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I completely lost interest in dudes during my transition. idk if it's the hormones or if the CPA is fucking with my libido or if my past experiences were a form of very roundabout comphet and that thinking of myself as bi was the only way eggy me could grasp her own queerness and femininity, or if living as a woman has just ruined what little attraction i previously had for dudes, or if my experiences just automatically lead me to the point where i don't care about dating anybody but other transfems and men and strongly masc-leaning enbies are just the first to fall by the wayside, but the more i transition, the stronger my lesbianism gets.
Edit: Just saw this happened in the NHS, wouldn't surprise me if she's some gatekeepy shit where trans people just pretend to be straight out of safety concerns.
Yeah I'd heard of various changes, usually smaller but it can vary person to person with sexuality diverging over time as we age and such..
I'd been told to keep as much about my sexuality and things as vague as possible before because they could stop me getting any treatment.. especially leaning non binary myself.. and I didn't feel comfortable with how they were handling me nor with the aggressive kind of questioning and smugness here or there in response to some of my responses to her.
It was mostly her attitude and also I'd had a load of transphobic questions and comments from this particular person, along with a few other people here or there through most of the process with them, I'd had enough at that point..
I got a strong transphobe vibe from her and one of the nurses who was supposed to do my laser, I felt like shit any time I had to go there it was completely cold and unfriendly the whole thing completely demoralised me wanting to do anything further including bottom surgery. So I dropped out
Damn, that's rough to hear. But it's unfortunately not unfamiliar to me, i'm very careful when talking to medical staff myself, not only when it comes to them trying to diagnose me with trans broken arm syndrome, but also when it comes to trans healthcare and gatekeeping in particular. A girl i know still has to lie to her PoS abusive psychiatrist and pretend to be straight after he's delayed her bottom surgery for a full year, she could be done at this point and it's completely devastating to her that she had to struggle like this just to get on another waitlist. I'm incredibly careful who and when i disclose to that i'm nonbinary and i get nervous every time doctors ask me about my sexual orientation. It's such a fuck. It's slightly better for me because trans healthcare in my country at least isn't centralized like in the UK, so i get some choice in who i get treatment from and that mostly has worked for me, but only because i've always researched and double-checked everybody in advance. I know way too many trans folks who'd need therapy to recover from the therapy that they were forced to go through to get treatment.
Yeah I'd heard of some bad experiences before hand and I'd also talked to someone who had previously dropped out because she had a disability and had similar kind of treatment.. I'm kind of in limbo atm because I'm no longer there and I've had to put everything on hold for probably a few years.. so I don't know what to do next really.. I feel cheated by it in ways and I'm very bitter I was treated like that.. I'm a late transitioner mainly because of abusive parents and bad upbringing, disassociated for a long time (20 years of being an egg along with being intersex) and then finally getting things in order to get that shit and now everything feels frozen.. feels a lot like having your legs taken out from under you to fall at the finish line..
Yeah, that sounds awful, but i also get that it's just no option to get bottom surgery of all things at a place where you do not trust the staff. I couldn't do that, either. You have every reason to be bitter about this.
spoiler
Hurts because I've wanted it since I was a kid.. but I couldn't trust them..