Inspired by this dorky exchange I had, thank u BountifulEggnog.
I want to know what your gender means to you, how you define it, what it means for you to "be" that gender and how you define it. Don't fuss about 'correct definitions' or anything, this is about your experience, I want to know what it means to you. How you relate to that gender, perceive it.
Genders have a social construction aspect and is very subjective, so I think people's subjective, personal views of their own are both important and interesting. Inquiring mind wants to know! 
I'll share some of mine I guess.
I was a trans woman until the contradictions sharpened to a razor's edge after reading Gender Outlaw and The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto. My brain got cracked in half. I have always hated the effects testosterone would have on my body, so estrogen was a given, but while I do identify with certain things that are commonly associated with being a woman... if nothing is inherently gendered, what even is a gender? 
I had a whole little episode about it in the megathread once.
As I went on from there, I realised that while I like certain things about "being a woman", equally I found I'd been sort of stifled by trying to fit into the social role. The women I have always related to most are the cis autistic women who basically yeet presentation in favour of dressing for sensory comfort. Almost kinda non binary, in a way... The more I interrogated binary gender in relation to myself, the more I dug up stuff like this. Also I didn't really like that "woman" is associated with cis people a lot, I really like the trans part of my identity, feel a lot of love for it. I've felt freer and mentally clearer and truer to myself as a Non Binary Transfem, it's cool and funny. What does it mean to me? It represents my goofy sometimes-androgynous presentation, my lack of cissie gender, how being neurodiverse influences my view, being a funny noody goblin. Share yours =)
It’s kinda hard to describe. Part of me has always felt like ‘what is gender’ or ‘what is a woman’ is less important than the fact that I want to be one. Like, I know there’s such a thing as a woman and I know I want to be one, the rest is just details. The physical changes and presentation stuff is a big plus to be sure, but it’s not the core of it. Like, if I imagine myself as an hrt femboy with she/her pronouns, something about that feels off. There’s a part of roseanne barr’s recent comedy special/trainwreck where she’s going around and doing the conservative grievance politics bingo and eventually she gets to the trans stuff and tries to give the audience some red meat but she’s clearly too unplugged or uninterested to understand what the fuss is supposed to be so she just goes “‘what is a woman?’ A woman is me!!!” and I think that’s probably going to be my attitude once I finally internalize the view of myself as a woman lol
I think I came to the opposite conclusion as you, where I figured that if nothing is inherently gendered, then why can’t I just be a woman? Like I feel like trying to hold myself to some strict femme standard of gender presentation would probably feel constricting, but cis women can transgress that and still be women, so why can’t I? I don’t have to be nonbinary to be gender nonconforming if I want to. Maybe when I get further in my transition and stop boymoding I’ll feel different, but that’s where I am now.
discussion of transphobia
On a practical level being my gender involves shame, and freedom from shame. I once joked that ‘I’m not ashamed of being trans, I’m ashamed of being a woman’ but it’s kinda true. Some of my earliest memories involve being taught that I’m not supposed to be a woman and a good deal of my childhood involved learning how to hide that part of myself. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how living in a cishet-normative society can mess with your head and make you hate yourself. So I developed this shame complex around my gender identity before I even knew what it was.Being a woman kind of represents freedom from that shame to me. The freedom of embracing who I am instead of hiding it. I l’m not broken or deviating from what I’m supposed to be, this is just who I am.
This is based, and tbh when faced with the relative absurdism of gender this is an entirely valid reaction as well. I like this outlook, truly.
discussion of transphobia