God conservative grifts are so fucking easy
this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I can think of a few funny scenarios to come out of this.
Customer: "Ok, so with 15% tip that comes to-"
Audible cocking of a revolver
Customer: "Sorry I misspoke, so with 50% tip that comes to-"
In a better world:
Assistant: "Uhh, sir? A bunch of the drivers are outside demanding a dental plan and stock options"
CEO: "Too bad, they're contractors and not employees, have security escort them out"
Assistant: "Sir, security is refusing to touch this one. They're all armed to the teeth. One of the, erm, contractors is open carrying a Barrett .50 Calibre sniper rifle and is pointing it at your portrait in the lobby mouthing the words "pew pew pew" repeatedly while miming the motion of recoil on the gun"
CEO: "...actually their demands are perfectly reasonable"
This all caps rant made me laugh.
THE CEO FAILED THE SECURITY GUARD EXAM SIX TIMES!!!
https://subium.com/profile/nregib.bsky.social/post/3ktoggy4g6f2a
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Edit
Black Wolf owner loses security license, accused of endangering public with armed rideshare drivers
I was curious so I went and took a few security guard practice tests online. The worst score I got was an 85%. They're mostly basic questions about taking notes, placing people under a citizen's arrest, when it's appropriate to unholster a weapon, whether or not you should impersonate a cop, or fire extinguisher use. I genuinely think the only way to fail is if you're answering blatantly wrong questions like "shoot him in the face" or "scream at any teenager that approaching on your side of the street is a felony" or "tell them that you're a police officer and will arrest them" or "throw the fire extinguisher into the fire."
Wow he’s just like Xi Jinping who failed the party exam 6 times
In you there are two rideshare apps. One is Blackwolf, the other is Uber.
why tf would i want the driver to have a gun?
To protect you from... You know... Them.
So they can blast your eardrums when someone cuts them off and the driver decided to shoot his windshield out from inside at 75 MPH
If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you
i think willingly and knowingly getting into a stranger who is armed's car is pretty fucking close to this
Add an ELO system and now that’s a badass idea
"You've reached your final destination"
"But we're I the middle of the woods, I wanted to go downt-"
Time to steal some identities then steal some guns, I guess.
Seriously, bets on how long until the first video one one of these guys getting robbed shows up?
Whoever came up with this is the type of guy who plays cyberpunk 2077 and thinks "this all looks so cool, I wish I lived here but without the fancy technology"
Didn't this dude try this last year?
What's subium.com?
It's a Bluesky web client. Some (many?) Bluesky accounts force a log-in to see posts.
Thanks