I love when they wear shit like this
Self-identify as a loot drop
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse
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If npcs aren't real why do so many cars in the us have a diegetic sign to inform the player that they can find weapons and ammo inside?
Again, why do kids not play outside anymore?
[average person you'll met outside] HOA Enforcer Joe.
this is a bit its a bit i will not believe it
Matt Damon Elysium looking motherfucker
I can't tell if this is a kulak making a funny patch as a meme or a kulak actually doing this and both are equally plausible.
I once read a post about a community chili cook off and how the HOA hired some goon in tacticool gear and AR15 to mean mug everyone who passes by him
Eeeeeew.
I keep seeing security guards in my area running around in tier one airsoft drag and I'm too old and bent to do it but I really want to go up to the guy and start mocking him for wearing a plate carrier with no plates.
It’s neither.
Is this some kind of joke
I went to this little deli place in the small, chill and frankly Mayberry RFD ass town I live in, and this 5'6" ass guy comes walking around a corner with his drink refill to go back to his seat and eat his little sammy.
and the guy is 100% kitted out with the fully loaded plate vest, multiple guns in holsters and all the bullshit is color coordinated for light desert camo. this is a forested temperate region and you'd have to fly like 650 miles in a straight line to even find a piece of landscape to blend into. it has like POLICE across it too and his table had like 4 other pigs in their normal oink oink gear.
it was such a a surreal getup I almost said, "dude how the fuck is any of that necessary?" but I didn't want to get blown away by possibly the most insecure and heavily armed loser on the planet.
I don’t remember the city, but some small sandwich shop hired a giant goon to stand outside his shop with a full kit and AR lol
Found it
Whoa whoa this is an "AGENT" hired from some "AGENCY" employed in the STATE of PENNSYLVANIA! Bow before their individual contractor status! 
AGENT
there is or was a reddit community that posted photos of these bozos and tracked their shenanigans. they called them "whackers". it's one thing (albeit lame) to be a private security guard. it is a whole other deal when they purposely try to make themselves look like official LEOs with shields, logos that look like badges, and official sounding verbiage. because digging into the details of any of these weirdos generally results in paydirt.
anyway, think about the kind of piece of shit who can be a cop in the US. now, imagine the guy who couldn't meet the bare minimum psychological or background check requirements (which don't seem to exist, but you know there's some kind of floor, below which no agency in the US will hire) but still wants to command the attention and respect on the streets.
Jeremy Dewitte is the king of this shit with his "Metro State" Vehicle Protection Services. there are probably a hundred videos on youtube of this guy getting caught pretending to be a cop by cops. he used to have his own channel where he recorded videos of himself impersonating a cop and upload them. stuff like pulling people over and giving them warnings, being generally menacing and threatening. he buys all of the most insane gear, multiple vehicles with modifications, and just does this shit. there was a lot of speculation about how it was all afforded, because the funeral escort game cannot be that lucrative. his wiki is wild.
Do you (or anyone, really) know where the epithet "Whackers" comes from? The only thing I could think of is Wackenhut Corporation (nowadays G4S Secure Solutions) but it's different spelling. I kind of doubt it comes from "whacking" someone because that's more mob shit than rent-a-cop.
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Yeah, to “protect the customers” I’m sure if shit goes down this guy is going to put his life on the line for some dude buying a sandwich.
Americans have never been rugged individuals, they just wanna be cops. HOAs are not a thing and I'm pretty sure are even illegal here. Feels like the murica thing would be to say it's your home and therefore castle and it's weird as hell that the same person who will shoot at you for being on their lawn will let some COMMUNITY MEETING BEAUROCRAT tell them how their home should look.
Yeah, it's bullshit, but unfortunately, homes in an HOA are contractually obligated to obey the rules. In at least some cases, failure to comply results in fines that, if left unpaid, can result in the loss of the home as the HOA effectively gets to sell it to recoup what they're owed.
And cities are encouraging them all over the US, so it's getting increasingly difficult to find a newly built home that isn't in an HOA. Cities love them because they raise and spend their own funds to maintain things, which means the city doesn't have to spend tax money to do those things.
I've had the ins and outs explained before. It's absolutely baffling. I don't even invest somewhere cool like China or Cuba, I'm in America with less embarrassing accents and it's still mind blowing it's allowed, especially somewhere that having land and making it yours is so much a part of national mythology as well as the McCarthyist urge against neighborhood
Is that a...butt plug on their uniform?
I think it’s supposed to be a push knife, but it also doesn’t look real? Like it’s a patch of a push knife? Idk it could also be a patch of a butt plug
Not just any kind of butt plug, the tacticool butt plug, it can be chilled or warmed and comes in black so you know it's for MANLY MEN ONLY
Did somebody say... Oil? 
Ok mr. enforcer, but one question; what gun is that magazine in your vest for?
Rent-a-cops are those who wanted to be a cop but couldn’t cut it at the academy, and “HOA enforcement” are those that couldn’t even get hired as a meter maid
"This lake is on private property, punk."
This has to be photoshopped right? Why everything, but especially why would he have a gas mask?