this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
133 points (97.8% liked)

chapotraphouse

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Mr. Beast / Hawk Tuah Girl 2024 xi-vote

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[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 month ago (2 children)

dead eyed nihilist who is compulsively driven to generate revenue at all times

not buyable

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago

Can't be bought if you've sold out to everyone with a pulse /s

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

everyone who wins my games can get stuff, but those who lose have to eat my candy bars

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don’t understand how you look at Clinton, Obama, and Biden and say they are trying to divide the country. Their presidencies were maybe the closest thing to bipartisanship I have ever seen. They ruled as republicans

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

THIS IS JUST THE STUPID ANDREW YANG BULLSHIT OVER AGAIN AHHHHHH

screm

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In theory conversing with experts on both sides then finding consensus in the middle is a good idea. In practice it assumes that both sides have valid points on all issues (which they don't), never lie (which they do), haven't been bought (which they have), and that the middle is an appropriate response (which it almost never is; the "middle" position between some genocide and no genocide is a little genocide).

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago

The whole idea relies on there being no right/wrong answers

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not left or right, but some kind of third way.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

"Maybe if we appoint him Chancellor his supporters will chill out."

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mr.Beast is going to found the Radical Centrist Party.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

In this house we drink only Dr. Pepper

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (3 children)

how about, instead of lowering the age so mrbeast can run for president, lets lower mrbeast into a vat of piranhas

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

You've got my vote!

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I don't believe in anything besides trite platitudes, I treat politics as one-dimensional, I would have partisan advisors but somehow be able to fully resist the influence of money and party politics.

When you are approaching a highway exit, with one turn staying on the highway and one turn going off, my recommendation is to stick to the middle ground."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this an Eric Adams quote?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

You'd be excused in thinking I didn't just invent it.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

in deciding if i will vote for Mr. Beast, i will consult experts who support Mr. Beast and experts who do not support Mr. Beast equally and then decide that the issue of Mr. Beast is too contentious and divisive and that he must, to heal the nation, be dropped in the middle of the ocean where nature will be allowed to determine the best course.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

dont care about things because of the party

Mr beast please explain your view on trans rights popuko-gun

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Apparently one of his best friends/collaborators is a trans woman and he's very vocally supportive of her, so probably better than most politicians lol

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

Hi I'm Jimmy beast, and my only policy is turning a big Fascism dial while looking at the audience

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Literally doing the “hm one side wants to kill all immigrants and the other none, 50% it is!”

Except it’ll be a game show to exterminate the undesirables

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Not the main point but the minimum age is 35. Bro is 26, can he not do math

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

there are too many days i pray to be suddenly struck with some of that good-ass 13th century peasant illiteracy

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

have to go to my local Catholic priest for them to read me a book

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

clueless "i wonder what today's book will be!"

(it's the bible, again)

i-love-not-thinking "yaaaaay!"

would be a genuine improvement in my life

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

“We have Ross Perot at home”

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Finally a kid that understands how to make everyone happy by making nobody happy!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In 15 years? You only have to be 35 to be president. No way is Mr Beast only 20.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

He probably thinks the min is 40 then lol

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The bird of state needs a left wing, and a right wing to fly jordan-eboy-peterson

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

(the bird is an f-35. it has crashed in a ditch)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Also we're gonna choose a bunch of people to wear my mark

And I will appear to sustain a mortal wound but will miraculously survive

At some point the first seal will be broken and the scrolls will be opened and the Horsemen will ride across the land laying waste

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

There are experts on the right?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

middle ground that's best for america

Beast / hilldawg 2024 ticket. Its 4.5/5.5 time.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Mr beast presidency:

We just gave this filthy 3rd world country in AFRICA a brand new government

Saving 50 students from crushing student debt. We did it.

Doing a press conference using only body language

$100 of lobbying vs $1,000,000 of lobbying

Playing ultimate hide and seek with refugees crossing the border

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

How would Hitler have won WW2,

Dont siege Leningrad, just take it

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I mean fuck it, it’s better than any of the current alternatives

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