this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
143 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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You guys would be cluggin' a few cans, too, if you had my wife.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you pawn my jewelry

Apologize to my mother

You gave me an STD

good lord i don't think i've laughed at a kelly bit this hard in a long time

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago

And bringing a rolling pin to the bar your husband lives at

"Take My Wife, Please" Kelly is the best

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you pawn my jewelry

You gave me an STD

Yoooo this Kelly is dark.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Quite possibly the best use of "latest fad" we've ever seen from Kelly

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Embassy Suites (fancy hotel)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

There is an open condom wrapper on the bed there.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Good catch. Must have come from somewhere else.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Condoms break

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

unbecumming

hahaha

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

I’m the STD

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I'm the mother

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

oh yeah, Trump got shot or something. can't really remember.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

you gave me an STD

nit-picking wives

:jesus_christ:

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

from my lips to Kelly's ears. the man speaks with the voice of generation.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Probably because he is one himself but he really has his finger on the pulse of boomers. The dad in every comic is just this deadbeat alcoholic womanizer.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

I can't believe this is a real Kelly. His usual stuff is more tame.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

and :sicko-liberty:

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

the onion

Oh, that makes a lot more sense.