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Apparently the British wish to lock me up for daring to suggest something with flavor instead of a cucumber sandwich
burn the entire place to the ground
Shitlingford here is right though, it's an old ingerlish tradition to pillage any establishment that serves nonwhite food and murder its occupants. Probably triggered some memories of visiting "the Indochina" during his Oxford years.
I think this may have strayed too far from its origins as a poverty food. White bread, butter, cucumber and mayonnaise (if you're fancy) paired with some weak tea drowned in milk is a perfect way to save money so you can afford to have a TV license to watch England lose at football or splurge on Wensleydale Cheese to eat with your Christmas fruit cake and Christmas goose or go to Ibiza and get horribly sunburnt while complaining that the Spanish people are speaking Castellano.
Plus it helps keep you thin so you can fit in chimneys to sweep.
Historically speaking this is their response to pretty much any communication with a foreign culture.
The point of a cucumber sandwich is that it's light and refreshing. You can eat it as a snack while drinking tea, and not worry about not being hungry later.
What you suggested sounds nice, but it's a meal and that's not what they're for.
Yeah but a banh mi isn't a monstrosity u_u
It's already a fusion food. Pate, baguette and mayo are French, the spices, meat marinade and vegetables are Vietnamese.
Sounds like a good sandwich, I had a tasty bahn mi last week
The irony is that OPs sandwich is legit the whitest thing I have ever seen
Have you ever seen a British cucumber sandwich? It’s little more than a thin slice of cucumber (no skin) in between two slices of whatever that cake is that they call white bread. At least OP’s sandwich has jalapeño and sri racha in it.
It's not too far from an actual bahn mi recipe, some eyebrow raising substitutions though
Do they not have bird's eye chilli in the US?
Jalapeños are 5-10x less spicy. White Americans are usually in two camps when it comes to spiciness:
Can't handle it at all, start crying from just a single slice of jalapeño.
Extreme hot sauce masochists looking for pain and not flavor.
Also bird's eye chilis aren't available in every grocery store but there is always one that has them and is reasonably close.
Can’t handle it at all, start crying from just a single slice of jalapeño.
What should crackers do if they genuinely want to have a better spice tolerance but have this reaction? /gen
I will fully admit I have a Gringo spice tolerance — that is, not that much better than this — and my only excuse is autism (Asperger's if it makes a Nazi roll in his grave)
If you want to increase spice tolerance, just eat a little more over time. Instead of 0 out of 5 spicy at a Thai restaurant, get 1 out of 5 for a while, etc. Add a tiny bit of cayenne to your soup, that kind of thing.
It is also okay to just be sensitive to spiciness, esp. because it may be related to neurodivergence. The annoying thing about large groups of people avoiding spiciness / flavor, to me, is just when they are real sticks in the mud. Like they won't even try things outside of their palate due to pure obstinance or condescension or are clearly pretending.
Just eat more things with capcaisin regularly. You get a tolerance bit by bit so it literally stops even registering as warm. The fun part is when that tolerance gets really high so sauces that are like 200,000 scoville are just a brief sting that fades into a general warmth over 5-15 seconds and then you get an intense body high as your body reacts to pain that you literally cannot even feel and floods your system with endorphins. Extremely hot peppers like scorpion peppers are also incredible and entirely unique flavors that you just can't get from anything else.
cu
ber sandwich
Of course the jellied-eel brained colonialist wants to burn the entire place to the ground because there's some flavor added. The over the top violence in response to scary others being otherly fits the British Imperial model.
It's funny because you're not even getting into exotic ingredients with the most far out being what? Sriracha? Cilantro? Ginger? They didn't even suggest MSG that scares everyone off. You're not pickling with rice wine vinegar and sugar (though I think you should) You could probably serve that shit in the bible belt and people wouldn't look twice.
Iirc it's literally the recipe for a banh mi that came from hello fresh, so like, the whitest version of such possible lol
I've had some GREAT Asian cuisine in Arkansas. It's out there.
I have an unironic hatred of all anglos
I'd much rather eat jellied eels
The past and the future coming together to make something not quite as good as either 
Surely they must understand after writing that why people clown on WASP food.