this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 102 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

2022 years ago? So this must be Christ reincarnated.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

No no. Jesus was born on 0AD. This kid was born on 2AD. Jesus would have been 2 years old, so he hadn't yet died.

Whats more concerning, is this is being posted by one of the kids parents. Which means THEY were born sometime in BCE. Which means they were alive and old enough to have kids when Jesus was born.

WHY ARE THEY NOT REVEALING THEIR TRICKS OF IMMORTALITY????

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought Jesus was born a few years after his official birth year though?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

About 34 years later, yeah. But it was also 40 days after his death. Making Jesus a zombie. Or, alternatively, it makes religion as a whole self admitted bullshit. Your call, christians.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

There are other options besides those two, like not having accurate historical records to know the actual date of birth and death, so that there are lots of conflicting accounts.

I agree that religion in general is a crock used by charlatans to control people.
But I suspect that this isn't the gotcha you think it is, especially because I don't think that the precise dates really matter to the religion.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

What? No, Jesus was a Lich

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A small correction and „fun fact“: there is no year zero. 1 BC is followed by 1 AD. Consequently things like the turn of the millennium happen a year after we celebrate them. But people found that weird.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like that just means 0 AD = 1 BC rather than there not being a 0 AD. Could have -1000 AD, too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

that's ISO. if you're putting the AD, 0 is not valid. the BC is specifically there because -AD isn't a thing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The disturbing answer to both of your questions is drinking blood of children keeps you young. It's all about adrenochrome and you can but shouldn't google it

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So THAT'S why republicans want to ban abortion, and why mitch mcconnell just WON'T die already.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"We will raise your kid", sure you will "raise" them

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Raise them right into their mouth.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Raise as in how you raise a wine glass to drink from it afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

adrenochrome

Several small-scale studies (involving 15 or fewer test subjects) conducted in the 1950s and 1960s reported that adrenochrome triggered psychotic reactions such as thought disorder and derealization

Interesting. This is probably what makes people, who would normally not kill or do other horrible acts, to do so in conditions of extreme distress and then later have a feeling of it never have actually happened, making them still be able to live life with about the same personality as before.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's long debunked and today a conspiracy theory

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Well, it does say "15 or fewer subjects".

So, not much of an expectation

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

Probably some Biblical mumbo-jumbo.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've never seen a post with zero upvotes.....did you un-upvote your own post???

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yes, that's possible to do.

You can even downvote your own post. Like here

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Damn. That kid is fucking oooooold!

[–] [email protected] 96 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

His days are numbered, though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I mean, if he's 2022 years old he probably doesn't have much time left. 💔

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

That's a pretty big number, though.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He looks so young for his age.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

He doesn't look a day past 80

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When you're least expecting it... I will be there. Watch your back... for the tickle monster. And his knife... of love

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a detective Pimento quote

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Might not be a native English speaker.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I am fairly certain math and time are well understood concepts in non- English speaking cultures

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Idioms and phrasing in English are not.

What's the literal meaning of "his days are numbered"?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

There are multiple references to this in the Bible. This is the most uplifting one I found.

Psalm 90

10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

11 If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.

12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

13 Relent, LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It means that you can place a specific number on the number of days left in a person's life? I'm not sure I understand the question because the meaning of this one is pretty easy to see. Normally it is unclear when your death will be, but if someone tells you that your days are numbered they are implying that they possess the exact knowledge of what number of days you have left to live. They don't usually mean that literally but the literal meaning is pretty clear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

It means that you can place a specific number on the number of days left in a person’s life?

Or the number of days since their birth? That's the simpler explanation.

"Those apples are numbered" = "we know how many apples there are right now"

If you don't know the context, you could easily assume that's the meaning.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

I believe that's a threat sandwich.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Poor boy, in addiction to have a questionable reasoning father now he’s on Lemmyshitpost and who knows where else. That adds up to the senile problems

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Chazz : Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy : Did you just say mind-bottling?

Chazz : Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Plus his father his making not so veiled treaths to his life.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Don’t know, I’m just counting someone days

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

2+0-2+2 - checks out.

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