this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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Not The Onion

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cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/45436045

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 19 hours ago (6 children)

I feel like we all knew this was not the onion. The onion would be a Russian oligarch dying in any different manner.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 hours ago

Russian window manufacturer issues recall after hundreds of fatalities.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago

Russian oligarch dies peacefully in his sleep of old age.

Mikhail Roguchev died peacefully in his sleep last Thursday evening surrounded by his family and the heavy iron chains he had fashioned to keep him from being thrown through a window...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago

Window killed by russian oligarch

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

Russian Oligarch missing after falling up out of window.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Russian oligarch survives assassination attempt by leaping out window

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago

This is the onion article.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

or falling out after installing a new set of windows

[–] [email protected] 40 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

I always see people commenting on stories like this with things like "how does anyone actually believe that/think anyone will believe that?"

Well, that's exactly the point. It's not about the death being convincingly accidental. It's very much about sending a message to others.

You don't eliminate the competition and agitators with the exact same method of execution for 30+ years (with a few false-flag apartment bombings thrown in for good measure) and expect to keep things covert.

The only way they could make it more obvious is the "he hogtied himself, ate a cyanide capsule, jumped out the window and shot himself twice in the back of the head on the way down" trope.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

It's the same with the vote rigging being caught on camera. It's deliberately careless. "I've rigged the vote, so don't even try"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

If it was a good deterrent, why does it keep happening?

I'm serious. I don't get it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago

As chonglibloodsport said, it's a numbers game.

When you have enough enemies, and keep making more, you're going to keep getting people who have had enough and don't care about the risk.

If it weren't for the "Russian suicide", putin would have been black bagged long ago by someone who WOULD.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 20 hours ago

Putin has been in power for 25 years. He arguably has more enemies than anyone else on the planet. I’d say the deterrent factor is pretty strong with this one.

It’s not perfect though. When you’re destroying your own country with the most disastrous war in living memory then you need stronger deterrents.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

In some cases, the people in power change their minds and suddenly an oligarch who was compliant becomes a target.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago

Exactly. They don’t have a signature poison because they don’t want people to know what happened

[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I hope all American Oligarchs watch every window victim with wide eyes. This is the future you are funding with Trump.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No no no. It will never happen to me. I am one of the smart oligarchs/good immigrants. He will just murder/deport the others.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

I really will have to insist on an "/s", sir.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 20 hours ago

Sad but true these days

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

Nonsense, our oligarchs are One of the Good Ones™

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's barely even funny at this point.

Although I'd quibble about Newsweek defining this guy as an oligarch. He was vice president at a company that was disbanded due the company president's opposition to Putin. It's very possible this guy is just a former executive that refused to bend or hand over some dirt or something. It doesn't appear he fits the definition of oligarch at all.

Unless we're just using the word to refer to all Russians above peasant.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Russian man promoted to oligarch after falling from window to his death

This has to be an onion headline at this point, no?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

An office with a view to die for

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

It's the wholesale murder of political enemies to consolidate power by an autocrat.

I don't think it was ever "funny".

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is why you shouldn't use windows. Switch to Linux.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Man beaten to death by penguins will be the next title.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Pacemaker driver had a critical bug.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

Which caused him to go terminal

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago

Future generations of Russians will gain immunity to fall damage once they weed out the ones still complying with the law of gravity.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They really need more durable windows over there.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Phillip J. Fry is getting very very tired of questioning his state of shock...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hope elon has a lovely view.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago

Still useful to the Putain at the moment, but yeah, I hope so too.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Old tricks are the best tricks.