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mental health talk, specifically anxiety
It's funny, I used to think I didn't really have an anxiety disorder, but now I think it's staring me in my face and I have to face it. I'm not going to get better just trying to deny that it exists. It's affecting my relationships with people, especially since I have horrible anxiety around texting, and that's the main communication channel everyone uses. Getting a panic attack whenever I see a notification that someone texted me and then leaving it unread for weeks because just thinking about it will cause another panic attack is... really just not conducive for modern existence.My anxiety is also definitely connected to my ADHD and what I suspect is C-PTSD. I get really bad RSD and I experience a ton of shame, which feeds back into the anxiety and makes it worse. I'm honestly a huge mess mental health-wise, it's kind of embarrassing lol.
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Only as embarrassing as I am, I'm not quite as bad but text notifications do make me uneasy... I am kinda like this but Idk where I got it tbhTexting gives me anxiety as well since it's more difficult for me to read social cues or intent with text. I also get worried texting someone first since i worry i'll be annoying them.
Yeah, I also find holding conversations over text really difficult. It's my autism brain's least favorite method of communication I think. But hopefully I can still work on the anxiety I have around it because I think I'm really annoying people with my inability to text back in a timely fashion.
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Anxiety can suck, I really dread having to deal with people when I'm not prepared for it before hand. I also feel anxiety around texting, so I relate to this. I miss cues in how to respond and such on the phone also, it's a lot of stress.I know from my wife how hard RSD can affect someone, you have my sympathies it can be a real struggle and it can really affect you negatively.
I understand the embarrassment but there are people here who understand
Thank you, I appreciate how understanding you all have been. Makes me feel a lot less alone in my issues.
a little vent about a current situation that's giving me anxiety
I've been meaning to respond to someone I met on discord for several weeks now, and every time I try I just start to panic. She's been messaging me somewhat insistently and I feel that she's not really happy with how I disappeared suddenly from our conversation one day. I have further anxiety because of how in our first phone conversation, she criticized me for interrupting her, which I did on accident because I'm autistic and have a really hard time with social cues. So I became nervous about disappointing her, and that's spiraled into this whole situation. Of course this is not fair to her, she was right to point out something I was doing that was bothering her; this is just my RSD acting up.It's easier when you have other people who are going through similar circumstances or know about it.
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It's difficult to respond sometimes, especially when you feel pressured into doing it. I would assume she could be worried but I know that's also not easy for you, especially if she had already scolded you before it's not going to make it easy for you to want to talk and I'm not going to try to guilt you into responding either... I cut people off sometimes especially if I'm anxious to answer or just miss cues and such so I understand.It's hard to know what to do, you could write a reply if you feel you can and just explain your end of things and then logoff, but I know that's difficult and I don't want to put pressure on you, I'm just suggesting an option you don't have to take it. But I do understand exactly how it feels to feel guilty for not replying too. I've had difficulty with responding to people because I've felt that pressure too..
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Thank you for sharing, that helps a lot. I have a response typed up but I just need to psych myself up to open the text conversation. Hopefully I can do it at some point.spoiler
I know that took work, good on you., no pressure take as much time as you needpanic attack mentioned
I typed it up a couple of days ago and doing it gave me a panic attack and afterwards I felt rather silly about it... so this feels very comforting, thank you.spoiler
You did good, I'm sorry it caused a panic attack. You've done really good despite that.spoiler
thank you, I appreciated this conversation. hope u and ash are having a nice eveningspoiler
Awwh you're welcone, happy to help and I hope things improve for you too and you enjoy the rest of your day.Yeah... I kind of hate the internet discussion around "ghosting" for this reason. I don't really have the expectations of getting an immediate response to texts, or even a response at all; but I know that's not the case for a lot of people.