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privileged dilemma - sports
So, I’m not sure if I want to go non-biney hrt (maybe moderate blockers, some e) or full e, but I figure I might as well do one while I have the opportunity. I can think and do think of a million arguments for both sides, and I’m a little lost. Here’s a microcosm of my dilemma:My current sport is climbing and I love it and it’s cool being the only one who ever wears a skirt to do it and everyone’s chill and it’s trans friendly, but one problem. Im a good climber bc I’m strong for being relatively new and I’m decently sized and have big hands. I worry about continuing blocking t that my strength will continue to decrease, and I won’t have the size advantage of most women that usually makes things even out.
Anyway, what if instead of worrying about all that I switched back to football (“soccer”). I loved it throughout my childhood and I was pretty good, and the teams were co-ed. Grow up and bye bye co-edness. Gender’s silly, but I just don’t want to be a man and don’t trust men. I don’t know if I would like being on a men’s football team in the future. Thus, what if I joined a women’s team? Well, problem with that is imposter syndrome and maybe I’m too good (despite not doing it in years) and have too much t. I could in years maybe go full e and join a women’s team. That could be nice if I’m not too anxious?
So, I don’t know if anyone has advice or I’m just ranting, but I hope you can see how sports are tied up with my transition options, among other things.
spoiler
I think you misunderstand me/nmI suppose you’re right it’s not worth holding myself back to play sports, but the thing is it’s not centered around this. As I said I like how I look on t and e. I’m stuck in the middle of this choice. I’m thinking NB hrt would keep me good at the sport I already am, but if I switched even further I might have more opportunities in the future.
I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I said I wished it did. I wish my fingers were small enough to get certain holds.
Lol, I’m not trying to be the best or something. I’ll never be as good as a lot of the people I climb with. My worry is that I’ll regress further and thus be able to enjoy less of it after rapidly improving (while I had t). It will be less fun to climb if I can’t do what I could before. I’ve looked it up before and people said transitioning had them dropping a few grades.
I know this, but previously my individual strength was raw strength. My technique is getting better, but I’ll miss it.