Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
::: spoiler spoiler
I felt this hard, my timeline is very similar to yours it sounds like. Though, when i started reading the book I was trying to reach for any sign or confirmation that, yes bitch you're trans.
And then I repressed for 4 more years.
I reread it again earlier this year like 3 months into hormones and there's still a part of me that just can't grasp moving as fast as she did.
spoiler
Yeah I feel that any quicker transition than mine is just a totally alien experience to me. I can understand it in the abstract but I can't really imagine how it would feel. I guess looking at Estradoll, it's not too dissimilar to what starting hormones was like for me, but just sooner and skipping most of the repressed feelings. But those repressions inform so much of why I enjoy being on hormones now so surely there must be some other difference. I can feel that it's there but I also just don't know what it is.Nooooo Orange Book did not go hard enough
Maria does mention that at 20 she figured out that she was messed up cause being trans is traumatic in our society, so I think she took a long time actually. I've seen users here who speedran everything right up to bottom surgery in under two years though 
::: spoiler spoiler In fairness I was more running from having to confront changes in my life as a result of being trans, not from transness itself
Once I moved out and also reached an ultimatum in my relationship I stopped repressing because it was do or die.
Anyway I'm much better now, being trans is pretty goddamn rad and I wish (in a healthy way now) I started earlier.