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I've been asked at work if i'm trans before i even got on HRT. idk how common that is, but from my experience early transition trans people vastly underestimate the changes they're going through physically, and in most cases aren't even aware at all of the changes that happen in their gender performance once they stop viewing themselves as their AGAB.
I mean, i get that a lot of hatchlings nowadays feel safer with transitioning for a while before coming out, and i get that there's a lot of settings where coming out is risky in the first place, and it definitely makes sense to start the process with a small number of people you trust and work from there, so it's important to do all this at your own pace. And if that pace means you take a couple years until you're fully out, that's fine and valid and all, and you may as well use that time to get some medical stuff done. I just feel like i should point out that there are some issues with this whole "i'm not coming out until i pass" stuff, most importantly that passing ~~in the way it is commonly understood is a toxic, harmful and problematic idea~~ is not only a physical, but a performative thing and that you can't learn how to perform gender in a way you're comfortable with when you boymode. Or that the way you do gender already begins to change in subtle ways as soon as you stop viewing yourself as your AGAB. Acting like a dude becomes grating, awkward and stilted once you know you're not actually a dude.
I want to frame all of your comments.
I've really only been coming to terms with this for like a week and I already feel this. I can't imagine its going to get better as time goes on. I took a first step, and sent a message to a long time friend last night, but they haven't responded back, probably busy or whatever.
I haven't spoken to them in a minute, and maybe not the best opener lmao, but they're close enough i don't think it matters.
Really I'm just trying to cope with how family and coworkers will react. Pretty much everyone in my family has no real understanding of, or will to understand transgendered people. They're willing to participate in it socially for politeness, but thats about it.
Most (but not all) of the cis-men I work with are the same, at least the straight ones. I think the handful of younger women we have working here would be cool. Some of the older ones are probably going to be assholes about it.
Yeah feeling the second part very hard. I feel very stuck because I'm afraid to just come out at work but it's definitely holding me back. Like I have to bang my head against the wall every Friday (not literally) because I "feel like a guy" which makes me really upset, since I spend 5 days a week boymoding at work. But like I just don't know how to come out
yeah it's a bit of a leap of faith at first. you get more used to it when you've had a couple of coming outs before, i wouldn't start with work if you can come out to other people more easily.
It's just about that time of the week where I have a gender crisis ๐ it's really and when people at work like, like me, and also identify me as masculine... Oh god
This is me. I'm basically out to everyone I care about, and the only thing that really holds me back is being outed at work. I'll have to cross that bridge at some point though.
I really wish I knew how much of my performance stuff has changed/will change soon.