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Ok so the other thing I feel really fucking weird about is my muscles. Probably have talked about this here but I've spent like 15 years maintaining them and building them, and like I get a lot of positive attention for them, and like I am a bit vain about them! But at the same time, I'm like wow this looks kinda manly haha. It's so fucking confusing honestly. But like there's lots of girls with nice muscles it's like a whole thing.
I do have the choice to make my muscles essentially disappear (Botox) and I definitely don't want that. JFC maybe I just need to like change my gender and be NB haha I feel so in the middle
Muscles are not "manly"
big agree
Agree this is just how I feel. Like when I see muscles on really any other girl than me, I'm like oh yeah thats super cute. But when I see them on me I'm like oh no I look like a man :( but it's dysphoria brain
You can be a non binary woman! It is what I am, lel
Relatable
I'm pretty comfortably NB (demigirl I guess if I wanted a more specific term than NB? I just mostly go with NB though)
dysphoria stuff
Love having strong legs but don't like the size of my calvesLove squatting a lot of plates but wish my ass was softer looking
Idk
Botox makes you lose muscle definition or something? I've never heard of that
It's from atrophy, it doesn't take long like a month or two. Human bodies are weird.
Botox gets rid of muscles?
Yup I believe it paralyzes them and then they just atrophy. They atrophy in a few weeks actually.
Keep the muscles, Jenniferrr.
Don't get caught up in compulsory gender expression. Be the buff gorl you were born to be.
You don't need to change your gender to be buff, but... It worked out for me. NB is like gender+. You can do whatever you want!
Yeah exactly. Like, idk maybe it's just where I am in my transition or whatever but I feel so in the middle. My boobs are looking good though lol.
CW discussion about my perceptuon of my own gender and my feelings about how I percieve others in terms of how difficult their gender discovery is
spoiler
Honestly my gender has always been muscle girl anyway. Like, it's just a weird experience being kind of a futchy trans girl cause like, a lot of the time the world just sees me as a man or whatever. Not falling into the masc-fem binary neatly is just... More difficult to navigate. And I have friends who do fall into that binary and honestly I'm just a little jealous sometimes lolYou think this is true generally, or is this just a perception you have?
Why? Because other people more easily identify their gender?
Sorry I didn't answer your question. It'salnost certainly just a perception I have. Everyone deals with different difficulties when it comes to being trans. I def have it easier than many others.
Yeah idk it's just so confusing to me and then I'm like really in my head all the time so I'm always trying to figure things out. I should be CWing these things though I'm sorry
Yeah, I've been there
No need to apologize so much! I think you're a bit frazzled, but you're perfect