traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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doomerism
does hormones and laser even do anything?I thought I’d see more of a difference for how long I’ve been doing both.
I see so many trans girls that just look like normal girls (even if you can still kind of tell they are trans) is it too much to ask for for myself?
Will laser actually eventually get rid of all my facial hair?
Will hormones do more eventually? Is it cuz I’ve been losing weight so not as much fat redistributes?
Do all the girls who pass just rely on makeup? That’s the only thing I can think of to cope, but o don’t know what I will do if I try makeup and still don’t pass.
I fear my gf is tying her life to mine and I am destined to just be miserable forever.
I've never worn makeup in my life and I am stealth, and Im friends with other trans women who pass without makeup as well. HRT really does work, but honestly, passing is about way more than just HRT or lazer or makeup, or behaviors, or voice training. It's a skill and the only way to get better at it is to do it and do it for long periods of time. Trying your best to pass through all those methods above at all times for long periods of times WILL yield results, much more than just doing HRT and waiting.
spoiler
Yes, laser and hrt works. You do need body fat for it to be redistributed. It can only do so much redistribution without body fat. One of the biggest tools for passing is voice training and yes it's a pain and takes a long time, it's also the only thing that doesn't rely on lucky genetics and you will get a more femme voice by sheer effort (and sometimes coaching, but you can do it on your own too). You've also been doing HRT for a while, yeah? Eventually the big changes you get from the first 2 years slow down. Stuff still changes but they don't come as fast and hard and those first few yearsFor you, specifically, you do seem unnecessarily harsh with critiquing yourself. You do seem to discount the times you've passed. You do have some actual advantages, you are short(er) for example - I know we tease, but your height is a genuine physical advantage you have. Your personal issues with passing seem way more tied up with what's going on in your head rather than anything physically. I mean, I guess you can only take it with a grain of salt because I've never actually seen you just read some posts.
I would encourage you to take these things that might be bothering you to a therapist (ideally one who works well with trans people) if you can afford it. I swear these thought patterns can be worked through and we can get you to a place where you see a woman when you look in a mirror like so many other people do when they see you.
I’m worried I fucked myself over by being on a really low/bad dose for the first few years and now it’s pointless.
I had a lowish oral dose for a couple years, got SRS (so no need to rely on shitty Spiro) , gained fat, and saw some pretty feminizing effects from that. Then about 9 years after starting I switched to injections and prog and now my boobs are growing again. So I really doubt your changes have plateaued.
I hope so
The only constant in this world is change. I wish you peace.
Probably not quite all of it. It's a good idea to go through one full course of treatments and then do electrolysis to mop up the rest, if you can afford it and/or handle the pain. Electrolysis is weird, though, because they sort of do it in strips to minimize skin damage -- so after your first appointment, you're going to come out of it with just one section done. It also can take multiple passes just because of how slowly some of the hairs grow in before they're permanently zapped.
Meanwhile, I'm still boymoding in public and absolutely do not think I pass as femme, but I keep getting "ma'am-ed" regardless. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I'm pretty sure the local yokels have just never seen someone with long hair and a deep voice in a Slayer t-shirt before. It's culture shock to them
Anyway, hang in there -- it gets better, and everyone progresses at different rates, so don't sweat it. You've got this.