Wrap you up in a lil burrito π―
badposting
badposting is a comm where you post badly
This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.
Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?
Rules:
- Do not post good posts.
- Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
- Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
- This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
- This rule intentionally left blank.
- If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.
Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo
Humiliating
I would pull out a can of beans and also a can of beanis and make you decide which one you want. You would freeze. How could you choose between beans and beanis? It is in that momentary window of indecisiveness that I would attack. By farding in your nose.
Victory is mine.
Facts and logic
You can't outsmart an owl, I'm the symbol of wisdom
Facts don't care about your feelings
.
owned π
yeah but I'm the symbol of intelligence, as well as strength, constitution, dexterity and charisma
unplug your controller and keep sweeping you in the corner
they don't call me the "cheater with cheap moves" because i'm a lothario.
MOM
so I'm jumping out of an airplane
I'm really fat and I'm wearing suspenders
I'm holding a huge barrel that says "WOKE" on it under one arm
I'm screaming "LOOK OUT BELOW"
as I gain speed a fire cloud forms around me from friction against the atmosphere
you are standing on the ground right just looking at dirt as usual
nine femtoseconds later you have been turned two dimensional from the impact
I say HA HA HA and then I start chugging woke from the barrel
Its bath time! Can't be dirt owl if no dirt
There are foolproof methods that have been passed down the generations:
Drop safe on you, the door of which then swings open as you stumble out with your head encircled by stars.
Dress up a stick of dynamite so that you over it and then light the fuse.
Strap a giant firework to my back and attempt to catch you mid flight.
Paint a tunnel on a cliff side.
Not by fighting. But by destroying your will to fight.
(I'd cry and look pitiful )
Distract you by releasing a large bag of field mice
I would find a way to sneak beano into your food. Thereby eliminating your most powerful weapon.
pocket sand
Crying and peeing my pants
i would summon a second owl and have them challenge you to a cleanliness contest
Seduction. I would do a funky dance and roll a 20 on my performance check
Bait out a Tiger Drop
A gun
Out fight with range-y kicks and the long guard to keep you out of the pocket. Focus on hitting the body with teeps and the lead side kick, also chopping at the lead leg and calf. All a means of frustrating you into rushing in to hit while sapping stamina. Meet your forward pressure by crashing into the clinch to smother strikes and initiate grappling. Dirty box to trip takedown or looking to find elbows/post and sneak head kick over shoulder from clinch break. On the ground work towards half guard or side control -> crucifix. Smash in elbows and threaten the submission if you try to cover up (dβarce choke and americana respectively)
Why fight? Maybe we could just hug it out and make plans for brunch.
Stick one of them soap nozzles on a garden house and give you a bath!!!
An owl trap with lots of tasty snacks, idk
insane movement tech
Wet my pants. You'd run away if I did that. Checkmate
Cover you in peanut butter then throw ants at you
By making you guess this dinosaur
Deinonychus?
Nope
Nooooooo! my perfect record!
Is it a Dakotaraptor?
Nope
Aaaaaaaaa you win!
The correct answer was unidentified alaskan troodontid
You finally defeated me. Respect, Dino friend