this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 167 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Slurring words and struggling to gain crowd enthusiasm sounds like a regular night out for me.

[–] [email protected] 104 points 3 months ago (4 children)

But are you a treasonous Russian puppet child rapist tax evading draft dodger?

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago (2 children)

No, I'm just not a particularly engaging speaker I would imagine but I think the similarities end there.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago

Well that’s ok then

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[–] [email protected] 113 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, uh-huh. Let me know when he has a stroke. Anything short of that and the right won't even acknowledge that it happened. Even then they'll say it was a liberal conspiracy to poison him.

[–] [email protected] 132 points 3 months ago (3 children)

He's had a series of mini-strokes though. We know it because he tweeted that he didn't have them.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This reminds me of how when COVID was starting to hit the news I wasn't at all nervous about it until he got on and said we had no reason to be nervous about it

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

“It’ll be gone by Easter”

Cue me, moving to the woods

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is 100% true and it's so funny that I just want to cry in a corner.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (6 children)

They would still vote for him and say it’s a conspiracy as he’s not really dead. He’s just chilling with Elvis in a CIA bunker or something.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

That's fine, they can all vote for a corpse that can't hold office.

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Per Trump, “great legal experts,” including Sean Hannity and Mark Levin, believed there was no case.

Today I was absolutely shocked to learn that Sean Hannity and Mark Levin are great legal experts.

And [the hush money jury] is in about a 95 percent Democrat area,

Pro tip: if you don't want to be tried by a jury from a mostly-Democratic area, don't commit crimes in New York City.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This dude lived most of his life on Manhattan. He has multiple properties there. Those people know him best and are the best judges of guilt in his trial.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

NYC has all the judges. Good judges. Great judges. The best judges in the world, I tell ya. Not like those judges from a shit hole county. And I have great attorneys. The best. They could be better, but the best attorneys that do as I tell em.

Make attorneys great again!

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pro pro-trip. If you have something to hide don't run as president. If he just remained a private citizen this wouldn't be happening to him right now

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Today I was absolutely shocked to learn that Sean Hannity and Mark Levin are great legal experts.

Anyone can be a great legal expert if you're stupid enough.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Imagine if Trump gets reelected, and H5N1 becomes a pandemic.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago (9 children)

I’d rather be imaging trump getting eaten by ticks

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

H5N1 is almost certainly going to become a pandemic no matter who wins.

And the majority GOP House (plus a likely Senate takeover) will do the same exact thing they did in 2019 when COVID hit: Blame foreigners, persecute physicians, peddle phony cures, and deny its even happening all at once.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Slurring his words at a Waukesha, Wisconsin rally, Trump referred to Biden’s “fake infrastrucker, ershure para,”

Lol what the fuck?🤣

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

One way you know Trump was a lazy piece of shit during his first term is that it didn't suck the absolute life out of him like it did for Obama, Bush, or Clinton.

He puts all his energy into campaigning and none of it into governing. Maybe this run up to November really will be what does him in.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Follow the link in the article to his rant about Master Lock. WTF? How is this person allowed three feet away from his caretaker?

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 months ago (7 children)

Aaahahaha had to look. Fox News cut him off for sounding too crazy:
https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1785753213293007343

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Fucking Fox News.

“President Trump is campaigning in Wisconsin today. He will be in Michigan. Nothing on Biden’s schedule”

Yeah. He is busy running the country. Not golfing most of his time on taxpayers dime like Cheato here

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Did, did he pantomime jacking someone off in that clip?

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Translated for the hard of hearing:

Master Lock closed down. I used to use Master Lock all the time when I was a little child.

I take mashter-lacka goomp een naste lots a naste liddum puzzles yah puddum.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Holy fuck, with any luck he ends up brain dead by the time debates roll around and the GOP eat themselves alive infighting to replace him last minute

Because that honestly looks like a real possibility

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Has someone tried starting a conspiracy that Donald Trump is fucking dead and this is a clone meant to trick people into voting for a Luciferian Sleeper Agent?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe the orange paint is a sealant to keep the corpse gases inside so he floats upright

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (3 children)

When is this waste of space gonna die?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Trump is currently 77, at that age life expectancy is about 9-10 years. You could adjust it downward a bit for obesity and perhaps other evidence of poor health, but not by much.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You're forgetting that he's rich (compared to most americans, but as much as what he claims) and former POTUS giving him access to some of the best healthcare in the nation if not the world.

Just remember that when he contracted covid back in 2020 and was hospitalized, it wasn't just a vaccine or horse medicine they used to cure him, bit god damn stem cells derived treatment.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Dear sweet baby jebus please bestow an on camera gripper to this sex pest, pronto. Amen

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