I am so excited for the debates. I want to see these two feeding off of each other's decline and spiral into a screaming match.

80 year old semi-senile guy vs 80 year old semi-senile guy vs 70 year old guy who literally had brainworms

Trump also appeared to forget that he was no longer in charge of foreign policy, leaving one interview early to “deal with” a conflict in Afghanistan.

“He [Trump] also seemed to think that he still had some foreign policy powers,” he noted. “There was one day where he told me he needed to go upstairs to deal with Afghanistan, even though he clearly didn’t,” he said, adding that Trump actually called the nation “the Afghanistan.”

lol at the image of trump saying "i have to go deal with the afghanistan" whenever he has to leave an interview to take a shit.

Trump: So I said, ‘Let me ask you a question, and he said, ‘Nobody ever asked this question,’ and it must be because of MIT, my relationship to MIT —very smart. He goes, I say, ‘What would happen if the boat sank from its weight? And you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery is now underwater and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there?’ By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately, do you notice that, a lot of sharks? I watched some guys justifying it today. ‘Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were, they were not hungry, but they misunderstood what who she was.’ These people are crazy. He said there’s no problem with sharks. ‘They just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming now.’ It really got decimated and other people do a lot of shark attacks. So I said, so there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards or here, do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking? Water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted, or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted? Because I will tell you, he didn’t know the answer. He said, ‘You know, nobody’s ever asked me that question.” I said, ‘I think it’s a good question.’ I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water. But you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted, I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark. So we’re going to end that.

Biden: leans forward, causing an eyeball to fall out

Truly, the country with the world's most representative democracy

How's that any different from before?

This election is gonna be awesome

I really want to see Biden tell one of those rambling stories about stuff that happened 50 years ago. Like maybe have him complain about how they don't give you a sack of oranges at the bank anymore at Christmas time like they did in the early 70s.

Or just hear Trump talk about the handsome generals, that's also good.

From that recent Chapo episode, it seems like the interview with Biden was even worse, and i don't recall any media people saying anything bad about it

Love to have the position of leader of the "free world" being between two senile conservatives boomers with the main difference being that one of them also hates gay people and a Mussolini wannabe with a brain eating parasite that literally starved to death

Look, having nuclear— my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart— you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world— it’s true!— but when you're a conservative Republican they try— oh, do they do a number —that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune— you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged— but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me— it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are— nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought?— but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners— now it used to be three, now it’s four— but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years— but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.

In response to the fact that both the president and his two opponents in the coming election show signs of significant cognitive difficulties, local grassroots leader John G. Doug has declared himself interim president of the USA

The interim president attributes this drastic decision to guidance from his interim vice-president Bill Ary-Killton

Lost his posting power

We're rapidly approaching the possibility of an actual clock-drawing-contest

“Meandering and confusing”

HE MADE A MISTAKE. HE NEEDED TO SAY STRONG AND POWERFUL!