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submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 99 points 3 weeks ago

My foreman would always say "Love my job" in a happy tone after anything bad happened on a job site. The happier the tone, the worse it was

[-] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

"Dear God, he's doing H.M.S. Pintafore. We have to leave. Now!"

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[-] [email protected] 56 points 3 weeks ago

I feel like the one going on about defcon does not know defcon 5 is actually pretty chill

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Should've gone the Kanye route and said defcon 3

[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

*death con 3

[-] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago

Fun fact: in America asking "how's it going?" is just a greeting, nobody really cares

[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

Brits ofen say "You alright?" As a substitute for "Hi."

Pretty jarring when you're not used to it. Id think "God, I must look like shit if they're genuinely checking on my welfare!"

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Won't stop us from having a conversation or even just bitching about something that is randomly bothering us.

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[-] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago

My favorite to use: "not gonna lie to you."

[-] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

My coworker once when I asked him a hard question: "Don't make me lie to you."

I still think of that a lot and try to work it in when someone asks me an impossible question.

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[-] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago

"I'm doin." -I am not doing well and I don't want to talk about it. But I'm also too exhausted and shattered to keep lying about my mental state for the sake of social niceties, so I'm hoping my vague, neutral statement will either convey what I'm feeling, or you'll fill in the blank with whatever you want to hear. Just as long as you stop asking how I'm doing.

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[-] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago

"Too blessed to be depressed" - they're a Christian fundamentalist who is depressed but trying to convince themselves otherwise. You should run.

[-] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago

I'm here ain't I = Defcon 5

So normal then?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, def on 5 is basically civilian peace times, right?

[-] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

Living the dream!

Nightmares are dreams, right?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

"Living the dream!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I hope to wake up any day now."

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[-] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

Defcon 5

I never know if they're meaning that it's not that bad, or if they actually mean defcon 1.

Because with defcon, the lower the number, the worse the situation.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
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[-] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

Seems very American. If you ask a German you be prepared to not get Smalltalk.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

This isnt small talk, this is a survival mechanism to figure if the person will enact violence on you or not. Optimally you want the response to be empty words, grunting, or being told to fuck off.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

A friend of mine, married to a European, said that I should have been born in Europe, not the US, due to my hatred of small talk.

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

Wh... what's y'alls base suicidality level

[-] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

Our national holiday consists of drinking and playing with explosives at nighttime. You do the math.

It's generally a very cheerful level of suicidality though! Would be awful to bring the mood down by making a suicide all somber or some shit.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

it's not bad

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Fair to middlin'

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Where does "Good enough" fit on the scale? Asking for a friend...

[-] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago

"Good enough" is "My head is barely above water and I'm wondering if it's worth the effort"

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Good enough= My day is shit, My week is shit, My life has been shit, but it's not as shit as other people so I don't have the right.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

DefCon Stages:
5 - "I'm here, ain't I?"
4 - "ain't dead yet."
3 - "it is what it is"
2 - "I'm not gonna lie to you"
1 - "...don't worry about it"

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Don't forget "too blessed to be depressed"= I think God will be angry with me if I admit life (read: murica) isn't perfect

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

I'm German and for me, "can't complain" means I have nothing to complain, I'm fine, nothing special

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Her horrors persist, and so do I.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

In the opposite direction, when I moved to England it took me a while to get used to compliment "inflation" over there.

For example when somebody's opinion on something is:

  • "interesting", it means it's shit
  • "ok", means it's bad or mediocre
  • "good" and "great", means it's average
  • "wonderful" and "amazing", means it's good

I once asked one of the natives how did they transmit the message that they trully believes something was a 10/10 and was explained that's done by going into details on how something is so great.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

‘Nother day, ‘nother dollar…

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I prefer:
Nother day, nother dime, nother shit on company time.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

Boss makes a dollar,

I make a dime,

That was a poem,

For a simpler time.

Now the boss makes a hundred,

And the workers a cent,

While he has employees,

Who can't pay their rent.

Why wait till the boss makes a million,

And the workers make jack?

It's high time we riot,

And take our world back.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

The traffic light simply would not turn green
So the people stopped to wait
As the traffic rolled and the wind blew cold
And the hour grew dark and late

Zoom-varoom, trucks, trailers,
Bikes and limousines,
Clatterin’ by — me oh my!
Won’t that light turn green?

But the days turned weeks, and the weeks turned months
And there on the corner they stood,
Twiddlin’ their thumbs till the changin’ comes
The way good people should.

And if you walk by that corner now,
You may think it’s rather strange
To see them there as they hopefully gaze
With the very same smile on their very same face
As they patiently stand in the very same place
And wait for the light to change.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

What annoys me with this culture is when they expect foreigners to use the same exhuberant language and they think something is wrong with you if you don't.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

British -

"Alright?"

"Alright?"

French -

"Çava?"

"Çava. Çava?"

Way simpler

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

My high-school friend group adopted "it goes" from our French class ("Comment ça va?" "Ça va!", roughly meaning "How goes it?" "It goes!" being the common neutral greeting taught in French classes) and I slightly resent it being described negatively here.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

"On the right side of the dirt."

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

It’s been a rough week at work, and being in an environment where we are all on call and numerous people are subbing for others who are having life get in the way, a lot of people are working late and taking weekend shifts that they would have otherwise had off.

One of my college friends works with me, and I know his responses to these questions pretty well, and boy howdy have I seen him go through all of these responses in order as things got worse and worse while the director pops in and out of call to check on us and get updates on the situation.

Considering we would have had the weekend off and both of us stayed very late, things are going pretty OK, all things considered. Can’t complain too much if I’m still truckin’

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this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
832 points (97.4% liked)

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