this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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Shit beat me to it. My dream is the felons ticket '24
They do could a series of hip hop videos called "Trump 'n Hunter".
I'm imagining it's dark at a yuge mansion and there's lots and lots of dry ice mist. They drive up in a one million dollar supercar and Trump comes out in a black suit, white shirt, black necktie, and he's got big Gucci shades on. Hunter is also wearing a suit and tie but not as nice and his shades are smaller.
"I'm not supposed to tell you now - I'll get in trouble... But I'll tell ya now. My guys and some women too. But not so many. And central casting women. No uglies. Madeleine Albright - have you seen her? No."
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"For FBI - George Santos. We are gonna investigate the democrats." Sing-song "Investigate-Investigate-Investigate... bye-bye."
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"For DOJ - Scott Baio. Very, very loyal. I can do what I want. I'm gonna try the democrats a lot. Trial, guilty, jail. Official act. Barron told me 'Marionette Scott Baio'. Yeah - that."
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"For Defense - Ted Nugent. He knows guns and Gaza."
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"For CIA - Kid Rock. My spy guy. And I'm gonna change things so they can work in the US. And black sites here too."
"I could keep going. The big list is even greater. You'll love it."
seriously why hasn’t trump at least dropped one rap verse? he’s tapped in he was just with ot7 quanny, surely he could lay down a 16
None of these losers
Burgum? Never even heard of this dork. Incumbent Governor of North Dakota. He started his career as a McKinsey consultant. Republican Pete Buttedgeedge. Low energy.
J.D. Vance? Ivy League Eminem? Really? Come the fuck on.
Little Marco? It would technically be funny, but no comedy bit is remembered for being technically funny.
In reality, Trump will pick someone boring as a prophylactic against being couped. That was the whole idea behine Mike Pence. Dude had about as much verve as a cool glass of prune juice.
The funniest (in a shambolic and horrifying sense) choice would be Vince McMahon. They do have a long personal connection.
Vince McMahon
lol, now we're talking
tim scott would be phenomenal (if he is the guy with fries), almost eric adams tier shitposter
I want it so badly please Mr President pick Santos
not eligible, but he should pick him anyway
Why not? He is 35 and American born. Does his expulsion from Congress make him ineligible?
hmm I coulda sworn he was Brazilian. his wikipedia page is very cagily phrased, doesn't specify where he was born
Rudy Giuliani
Hexbear does not lie...
"Everybody... Everybody... Do you wanna know who my VP pick is?" There is yelling and cheering. "Do you wanna?" The crowd is roaring. "You wanna - right? You wanna." The noise is incredible. "He's like a superhero. A superhero! C'mon out here Mr. Black Justice..."
America needs more superheroes. You’re hearing it more and more.
OK, probably straining the "mostly" here, but why not:
Mike "Pillow" Lindell or 
for the rich conman huckster unity ticket
or
for four years of this dynamic
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MTG. why tf not?
"Liberals - they hate her. They hate her! Me? I love her. I love her." Big reveal - she comes out stage left. The audience goes "Ah!?!" and then starts cheering and a-hootin' and a-hollerin'.
She reaches her mic and starts squawking "Hey, everybody, I'm Marjorie Taylor Greene - the president's veepee - and we're gonna slay the demoncrats!" There's an explosion of rabid yelling and screaming. Trump is clearly a bit annoyed by this. He jumps right in to get the focus back on him.
"Yeah... Yeah..." He's even more annoyed because they aren't quieting down fast enough. "Yeah." They quiet down enough so he can continue. "They're done. And no more windmills. They're done too. Bad. Bad. Very bad."
She's even more catty than Trump is. She'd call Kamala out for her fake eyelashes.
That gal is extra and ain’t afraid to use it. Good grief.
Gotta be Mike Pence, right?
I know I would laugh
Joe 
because don wants everyone to call the White House the Trump Mansion
Why is the bauhaus labeled as mcmansion
Xanax VP to crack VP. Makes sense.
Sarah Palin
How is it not J.D. Vance? All the dog whistles of DeSantis, but with a lot more swagger
Hillary Clinton.
Ben Carson
The Joe Rogan podcast.
Not Rogan himself. The whole podcast. With rotating guests.
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Robert F. Kennedy Jr. !
Me
First owl VP; different species are now making strides in American politics
Joe Biden (after being kicked out by the DNC)
The Rock.
The Donkey from Shrek.
runner up: Brett Farve
all time top choice: Jim Caviezel
I very much want Jim Caviezel doing speeches from a teleprompter. The hollywood rumor about him is that he's nearly illiterate and messes up his lines constantly. There's an old story of him from when he was shooting Person of Interest. He had one line, "No" that he kept forgetting even if there was a cue card with just that one word.
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His son. And they get into public fights because Trump tells him he's doing stuff wrong.
Which one? His ＬＡＲＧＥ SON or one of the two older duds?
I don't think Barron would be permitted to be VP because he's not 35 years old.
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The one US politician people call MTG. I still don't know her actual name.
Marjorie Taylor Green aka
Marjorie Taylor 👑 QUEEN 👑
Hawk Tuah
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