When you're RFK Jr. and you haven't admitted to doing something really weird for 10 minutes:
this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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RFK Jr. admits in bizarre video that he _________________
"So everyone got a story like this, y'know, I just murdered my cleaning lady and I needed to dump the body, okay, so I call up my old buddy Paulie"
I told ya never to fuckin' speak of that Bobby
"Drinks an entire pint of boiled Gatorade every day for "activated electrolytes" when questioned about why he was wearing a full WWI German officer uniform at a Tyler the Creator press interview he stumbled into uninvited"
He said that [...] he witnessed a woman in a van fatally strike the bear [...] he scooped up the dead bear and put it in his own van, planning to later skin it and eat it.
anyone have RFK Jr recounting accessory vehicular ursicide to Roseanne on their bingo card?
"I went out of my way to collect roadkill with the intention of consuming it, but later decided to illegally dump it instead" is among the tamer sentences that's come out of his mouth.
RFK Jr's brain is less intact that JFK's at this stage
Really is a shame we never got a debate with him, Biden, and Trump
Worm brain, oatmeal brain, and no brain
I wondered "how the hell does a rich old white guy in modern day America get literal brainworms" when that story dropped, but now I can see how in his case
Dude just cannot stop eating meat he found on the ground.
Me: [drops a piece of beef jerky on the floor] "damn not good anymore"
RFK JR: [descends on a deer hit by a car on the side of the road] "Jackpot!"
RFK JR, upon seeing Sméagol eat a raw fish in The Two Towers: Finally, a relateable character
The worm ate the part of his brain responsible for avoiding more worms.
principled freegan.
How do you get a bear to central park in the first place?
edit: he picked up someone else's roadkill to eat it then decided to dump it? the actual fuck
Your honor I only picked up the roadkill to eat it because the worm in my head was telling me to do it.
Worm wanted friends.
Picking up fresh roadkill may be the most normal thing he's done. What he did afterwards is pretty weird, though.
my president
OUR PRESIDENT 
At this point the worm is just delving his memory is and testing the waters to see what human behaviors are acceptable
RFK also 'told a story to journalists about being ambushed in a bow-and-arrow attack by Indigenous people during a 1974 whitewater rafting trip in Peru' (never happened)
We may never know if this one is true or not lmao
Why does everything this man does sound fake?
When your origin story is literally, "brain worm", either your story peaked too early or its just the start of a wild ride.
his literal origin story gives brainworm a run for its money.
he graduated law school, waltzes into a sweetheart gig in the Manhattan DAs office, flunks the bar exam, has to leave the DAs office and then winds up arrested in Rapid City, South Dakota busted with a felony quantity of cocaine. the geography alone blows my mind.
and he walks with public service, to be completed back home.
the guy is the quintessential Kennedy.
And that bear's name?
John Hexbear
Ok listen, this might seem bad, but if you had as much heroin in your system and as many worms wiggling around your brain as I did at the time, you would have found the bear dumping hilarious too.
Too bad the bear wasn't alive to eat him.
That's it, i'm no longer voting for him
Why are American poltics so weirdos?
5th generation failsons who no longer have the wherewithal to hold the empire together anymore because they're too busy lobotomizing or trying to fuck their daughters.
this is what is gonna put him over the line, RFK sweep incoming
Stop trying to make him sound cool
I didn't even know RFK Jr. was gay!
Indeed, the bear cub caused quite a stir when it was found in the park in 2014, as reported in The New York Times in an article coincidentally written by Tatiana Schlossberg, a reporter for The Times at that time, and the daughter of Mr. Kennedy’s first cousin Caroline Kennedy.
no more half measures walter
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer
Who is silently watching the RFK Jr. vid