this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to [email protected]

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I used to be like these types, and then I realized a lot of leftists, or more specifically Marxists base their entire political ideology off of theory that’s like 200 years old. Marx was writing at the peak of the Industrial Revolution probably when capitalism was in its most grotesque form (child labour, no regulations etc.) there’s no way in hell Marx could have ever imagined the complex world we live in today.

And also evolution is false because On the Origin of Species was written 200 years ago and there's no way Darwin could've accounted for all the complexities the molecular biology revolution revealed in trait heritability.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Also why do liberals like to pretend their own theory doesn't predate Marx by decades or centuries. Marx was literally building on top of existing liberal theory

They have guys like Hobbes, who died in 1679. They'll regularly quote Plato or Aristotle too. Ask them what western society is based on and they'll start saying nerd shit about the Manga Carta or ancient Rome. Liberals are so unserious

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (4 children)

the Manga Carta

New weeb theory just dropped.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Using Salic Law to own the Marxists on the battlefield of ideas

[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago (2 children)

God can you imagine if we lived in a hellishly cruel and exploitative world of industrial genocides, child labor and deregulation, like in the dirty stinky past? Then those communists might have a point, haha

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Once I had someone try to refuse communism with something like "Marx was writing at a time where everything was made in factories. Times have changed."

ok which star trek replicator did your clothes come from mr liberal

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

You mean to tell me that the people making all commodities aren't making $300k/yr and working from home with their output coordinated through a series of gig economy apps? I don't know about that, sounds pretty old fashioned.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Nonono neoliberalism fixed all that, look at the global extreme poverty graph, the line is going down! (Please don't look at what happens when you take China out).

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

base their entire political ideology off of theory that’s like 200 years old

Meanwhile they base their ideology off of the prolonged vampire euphoria that ensued after the collapse of the Soviet Union and never let that go like some boomer nostalgic for that one winning touchdown that one time during the homecoming varsity game.

capitalism was in its most grotesque form (child labour, no regulations etc.)

The more advanced bazinga form of that outsources the grotesque to the poors in distant lands smuglord

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

they're re-legalizing child labor in some US states, and finding illegal child labor in others. capitalism is oopsie daisy still in its most grotesque form.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago

the Pythagorean theorum is outdated because the ancient Greeks would have fainted in terror at the sight of a protractor

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (8 children)

It's wild how the people who approach capitalism like it's a religion are able to sort of just state between the lines that there isn't child labor or how there supposedly are functioning regulations in global capitalism today. Completely ignoring the exploitation their neoliberal world order requires to maintain itself.

It's not that complex, they are calling it complex the same way they call the Middle East complex. Understanding it would require engaging with something that takes some work. And if we ask a lib if a lib will "lib or not to lib", the lib will always lib. Because it takes zero effort to keep on libbing.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Damn thats crazy how i don't buy stuff produced under the command of capitalists anymore, its a very different system cause they got flatscreens. Interestingly they only produce stuff that brings them profit, another mystery why they do that curious-marx just different i guess.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If someone were to say this about their beloved constitution.... And why are they acting like we aren't facing climate crisis and potential overshoot?

[–] [email protected] 75 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Abruptly stand up and challenge the speaker to a debate. Your opening statement should be a 15-minute monologue that invokes your IQ, your depth of knowledge of Milton Friedman's literature, and your immunity to simple emotional appeals. Leave the ball in their court. But they'll simply be too stunned to respond with anything but silence and awe. They'll concede, and you will likely get a standing ovation and a few phone numbers.

michael-laugh

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

15-minute monologue that invokes your IQ, your depth of knowledge of Milton Friedman's literature, and your immunity to simple emotional appeals

jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff jagoff

and you will likely get a standing ovation and a few phone numbers.

Which is why neoliberals in the same community advise each other to lie about their politics to try to get laid.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this has to be satire right? the invoking iq part cant be serious

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

The entire post is tagged as a meme.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Doing the John Galt speech irl and getting spitballs fired at you the entire time

[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago (2 children)

https://archive.is/wip/dN7Lk Fresh archive of what needs to be a site tagline:

I just attended a Marxist lecture for extra credit and had to sit there while the guest condoned not voting, claimed Obama didn't end the war, and called the 2009 loans bailouts. Please make me feel better before I puke.

I'm not joking my more immediate coping mechanism was the catering provided so I had a lot of cookies.

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago (3 children)

One of the top comments is telling OP to lie about their politics to sleep with people visible-disgust

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago

They really do like Obama.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It often doesn’t work because they think idpol is all they need to be correct on and can’t be fucked to read enough theory so that they can bullshit through it

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

They want to screw leftists in more ways than one.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

Count on neoliberals to start relationships with lying. maybe-later-honey

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Two top comments is how deep I'll let myself go, and both of them mention reading Dune, one of them as theory. Liberal injokes are lame.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm still not sure if those top two comments are leftists making fun of them or not

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (3 children)

That whole sub seems like some elaborate bit tbh

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I don't get it, Dune is a critique of everything they stand for.

Are the libs irony poisoned too, or just media illiterate?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

yells-at-cloud a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Dune is my favorite book of all time but some very credulous bazingas (and reactionary fash) get the worst possible conclusions from it.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I just went to a lecture where the lecturer told me a bunch of true things I don't like and now I'm shaking and crying uncontrollably kitty-cri-screm

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

You did it! You broke down CHUDs to their bare essentials!

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Honestly I'd argue being open to feedback is the primary requirement to succeeding at...well most anything long-term. So it's not exactly a small difference

i think people of almost every political position like to flatter themselves by saying they're uniquely receptive to feedback and new information and therefore a superior critical thinker. like, saying it does not make it so.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Most "open office" corpo schemes have a "welcome feedback" policy that just determines who gets fired and who gets promoted based upon invisible court intrigue shit. corporate-art

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (5 children)

What war did Obama end/not end?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

I imagine they're talking about Iraq? Which Obama eventually pulled out of past the timetable Bush set. And only after many successive parliamentary votes by the Iraqi people for the Americans to leave. And then during his second term it collapsed into another civil war and Obama went back to Iraq.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

He waged 13 of them, so the choice is broad.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

“The.” Oh you don’t know which war was “the”? Shame. Sounds like someone hasn’t been keeping up with their news.

Obviously, “the” war is the one most prominently covered by US media. The other ones are only sparkling wars.

/s

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

That lecturer was actually me.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"They insulted Obama. OBAMA. please make me feel better and coddle my insecurities, reaffirm my biases plesae"

Actual adult children. neophyte brainage. how are these people real

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

They watch lots of treats that tell them that they are cool, calm, and collected pragmatic Adults In The Room that Make The Hard Decisions and Get Shit Done libbing-out

They never have to experience humility because of their bubble of treatbrained privilege. Consequently, they go through life like edgy know-it-all teenagers, forever.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (3 children)

How is Dune like scripture to these people? I don't get it.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it's an in joke satirizing leftists, but I really don't know

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Oh ok. Seems pretty unserious because it makes no sense, but I suppose that fits too.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

They had to see a homeless person?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

Users of that subreddit would better serve the planet as fertiliser.

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