a kiddo brought me their cup, seemingly very clean, and they started telling me about how they drank milk out of it and cleaned it up after and i had to ruin their day by informing that i still needed to wash it 
this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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The Rust Lang Ecosystem — Trans Megathread for the week of December 16, 2024, to December 22, 2024
(lemmygrad.ml)
A language empowering everyone to build reliable and efficient software.
from rust-lang.org
Rust by itself is a great language, but what really makes it shine are its many great crates. The ecosystem around rust is one of the best there is, and its documentation is practically unrivalled. So lets look at some of those crates!
actix-web
Actix-web is an amazing web server framework for rust. It's modular, easy to use, intuitive and fast. It's also what lemmy is built on! So when you use this very site, you are using something build with actix!
Bevy
Bevy is a code first game engine for rust, based on the ECS paradigm. It's incredibly refreshing and different from most other engines. It is also unbelievably modular, in fact, just about every part of the engine cam be removed or added as you please! If you are every looking for something simple to play around, try bevy!
Tokio
The backbone of most asynchronous rust. It provides everything needed to build reliable, fast web applications!
Serde
Serde is the go-to library for serialization and deserialisation in rust. Its derive macros make it a breeze to use, and there are countless crates supporting various formats with Serde!
SQLx
SQLx is an amazingly simple sql handling crate. It is both feature rich and yet simple, and just a joy to use!
Reqwest
A neat little crate for sending http(s) requests! It's also used in Lemmy, and just about anywhere else where someone needs to do get some thing from an http(s) endpoint!
And this is far from all! Rust is a lovely language, with an even more amazing ecosystem!
Have an amazing week, everyone!
Join our public Matrix room! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well. Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
late night anxiety posting
Ah, if only there was reliable feedback you could use to gauge how a social thing is going... Loprazolam I miss you...
I know that's way too literal and maybe gamified a way to look at talking to people, like it's not a system with rules, not really, even though neurotypicals say it is. But while I've been pretty content just going at it and yapping with people, there are definitely times where a thing happens and I desperately wish I could tell if it's the result of me being a huge fuckup or not.
Sometimes you just get left with nothing to go on, which is awkward and also leaves me wide awake at 7am combing over the same couple of conversations repeatedly trying to figure out if I did something stupid, which is extremely nerve wrecking seriously stop please.
Has anyone figured out how to git gud at not having anxious breakdowns like this, without needing to be medicated or whatever?
Disidentifying from my thoughts has helped. It leaves me wanting something to identify with and finding nothing, but I’ll be fine. There is a mechanism that keeps catching RSD in the act and disengaging.
How do I do this pls =)
Btw this is mindfulness but whole-er. I extrapolate from my experience and what I’ve heard that other autists would see through the absurd contradiction in the mainstream suggestion that some thoughts belong to the self and others do not.
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I will interest trade you reading Nevada for practicing insight.
Insight practices
https://www.mctb.org/
https://youtu.be/GYAremovedgbbM (I pirated this guy’s book on Anna’s archive)
I also listened to a lot of Revolutionary Left Radio on Buddhism. I have read way to much about Buddhism but honestly it’s not necessary. I took “thoughts aren’t you” seriously first when Breht explained his OCD. I turned it into an OCD thing crushing every thought that implied it was me due to black and white thinking. Now I can see through that mechanism as also not me and my relationship to thoughts is better.
Essentially pay attention in daily life to the three characteristics of all things: impermanence, non-self, and suffering. Pay attention to bare sensations stripped of ideas imposed upon them (though those can also be analyzed with the senses). Pay attention to that which appears to be “you” conscious that it can’t be you because it is temporary and you cannot see yourself temporarily.
Also gotta recommend daily vipassana and nothing/open awareness meditation.
There are some risks which are mentioned in the sources but if you’re like me you have more to gain than lose. There is a “safer” slower route going concentration first, but with ADHD insight first is probably better (sense/attention sensitivity is a bonus tbh). If you awaken the after glow can help you actually learn the concentration stuff, which is cool.
I smoke weed, lie awake and distract myself knowing that tomorrow the anxiety will probably be a bit less bad. I wish I knew of any better remedies
Sorry I still haven't been to the weedstore since we last spoke 
been busy but I try to keep that in mind
Lol I had forgotten about that conversation. I can still recommend it
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Thought I was a boy-wife, but maybe I'm a girl-husband instead?
Whats the difference?
Hmmm, maybe not the way to word it. What do they each entail?
Mainly joking because I saw the term boy-wife the other day and thought girl-husband sounded funny as the opposite, but generally I think the difference between the two would be like twink versus butch.
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I'm getting my orchi on Jan. 10 and am starting the process of getting top surgery. Not sure I'll be able to get top surgery before they ban gov coverage of GAC but at least I got the process started. If they do, I'll get it done privately and raise the money the old fashioned way, a combination of getting on my knees and also mutual aid
Fallout Tactics has a minor character Paladin Solo, her first name is Emerald, she is referred to with feminine pronouns and her voice actor is a cis man.
https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Emerald_Solo
It's 2001 and I don't know if it was meant to be something intentional about Power Armor, a budget constraint or an error, or some one snuck it in for positive or negative purposes.
But she/her, no voice training and a full suit of power armour is gender AF and rules.
indie wiki, fandom has way too much garbage esp on mobile
https://fallout.wiki/wiki/Paladin_Emerald_Solo
But she/her, no voice training and a full suit of power armour is gender AF and rules.
god i wish that were me
If you click through the link there’s a sample of her voiced dialogue. She rules.
Edit at least on mobile app, for some reason it’s being weird on my browser.
wayyy gruffer than me, oddly validating 
had a migraine yesterday so trying not to look at shit, decided to finally read (listen to) Nevada. and damn it was so fucking good, thanks for yapping about it @[email protected] 
my spoilery thoughts
i was initially a bit shocked by the ending but i let the afterward play and was satisfied with the reasoning. i do really like the representations of "pre" and "post" transition thing. Maria kind of awestruck me for the first half before i realised how much closer i was to James' end of that particular part of the journey. but dear god, i hope that one day i can feel as comfortable in my gender as Maria does
also i really liked the traffic light analogy, which made the fact it was stolen even funnier
When my yapping bears fruit 
I doubt I'll ever tire of talking about ol Orange Book, a forever pleasure of mine.
I guess that sort of hard stop is still new to a lot of people, which rules, I'm a big fan. I spent a year or two wrapping my head around it so you're well ahead of me, lol. I also never thought about it like that, but yeah, I guess Maria is pretty comfortable in her gender even if literally every other aspect of being trans is ruining her life. That's probably why I idolised her a lot as a teen...
Y'know what though, I'm not sure how I feel ahout that traffic light thing nowadays. It's a weird thing to have her say, right next to "Kate Bornstein didn't go far enough", I think. I never really "got it" though, like I get what it's saying...
thank you for the time, the orange book ritual worked 
I guess that sort of hard stop is still new to a lot of people, which rules, I'm a big fan.
i definitely felt a drop in my heart when James just straight up got on the bus and didn't look back. but i also think that i might have reacted the same way if someone tried to drag me out of my conformable, stoner, "no i'm definitely cis" state a few years before i was ready (is James ever ready? my reading is that he will be, just not in the amount of time that Maria pushes for) - as much as i now wish someone had. there was a relevant quote in the afterward for this -
[...] one of the most common ways for trans women to self-flagellate is with a whip labeled "I should have come out sooner." It's unfair to ourselves. [...]
which is something i'll have to work on...
I'm not sure how I feel ahout that traffic light thing nowadays.
that's cool, i appreciate the different view on it. a paragraph explaining why i liked it was meant to be here but i wasn't happy with it. could you tell me more? i would love to hear what you think on the matter
which is something i'll have to work on...
I have always liked Nevada as sort of an antidote to this. Nobody deserves to self-flagellate like that...
could you tell me more? i would love to hear what you think on the matter
I guess I have all kinds of weird new views on orange book in light of the fact that Whipping Girl is uh, what it is. I guess the cars-which-also-are-constructs statement feels a bit mean spirited, knowing where the book gets its "theory" from. I dunno, you know the bit where Maria is talking about realising the whole, 'there is going to have to be some intentionality in the way I present myself if I want to be read correctly'? I hang on that one too because, in orange book parlence: Dude, no? Actually as it turns out, there are plenty of cases where you discover that the cars aren't constructed that well and you can pretty much ignore traffic lights, I think. At the very absolute least this is not universal knowledge.
I mean, I dunno right, the traffic light bit is right fuckin next to the paragraph yapping about how in some dyke communities that trans guys come from, having a punk rock gender is kind of chic, and it's hard to read this as not being kind of shitty when the word "subversivism" keeps flashing through my head.
Also there is this part that utterly kills me:
He’s pretty into it: for Maria, being trans is like, Here is this shitty thing I have to deal with, but for Kieran it’s like, Fuck yeah! Being trans, all right! Trans guys seem to have this relationship to being trans a lot more often than trans women.
I love you, Maria Griffiths. Trans men get to have all the fun, for sure. 
I suppose in total I have difficulty not reading most things Maria says about gender as being reductive, and some part of me takes joy in the fact that it sucks to suck, for her. The close proximity almost makes me wonder if it's deliberately taking the piss out of her again, but I find it hard to parse this as a secret own on Whipping Girl, Idk.
The traffic light passage next to the punk rock hairstyle passage for sure feels icky even within the text's own context.
I mean if Maria/Binnie meant it in like a "gender roles suck but you have to appease the cis or you risk harm" way then I can only read the passages re: trans guys as her saying that trans guys have safety and privilege to genderfuck openly. (i.e. subversivism)
The text has pretty fuckin dim views on trans men so it wouldn't surprise me in the least, to be honest with you. Not that far of a leap. It would pair nicely with the "trans men are always taking up space and talking over trans women" stuff, I think!
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this thread is reminding me of how badly i've wanted to learn rust for years (shaking my fist at uni-aged self who had way too much free time). i got too many hobbies and my job is programming. i just don't have the spoons 
It's been a good day in gender for me, folks. I'm upping my estradiol and spiro doses and got a referral for a tracheal shave.
ferris friend
Why do I already need to shave my arms again 
and shower... and shave the rest of me... 
mood
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Loving this site. Got misgendered on a comment and hot damn if someone didn't show up point two seconds later to correct them . Think I have a new hero
If we didn't take care of our trans comrades we wouldn't really have a site. We are the majority here.
Fastest mods in the west 
went and took a concealed carry class yesterday and was apprehensive because i dressed full femme. It was hosted at a local pistol range. It ended up being lovely. The instructor was extra friendly to me (I sat in the front row). A cute little queer person (Pretty sure) was there and complimented my earrings. I love my town. I love being a woman!
Approval for the actual surgery part of my FFS went through today, all that's left now is to schedule it and start counting down. And if that wasn't amazing enough, I also finally got a refund check I've been expecting (but was told it could have come as late as 2028 lol) and it's more than I thought it was gonna be. Truly a fantastic day.
Me when my wife is cuddling me: 
Me when I wake up and can’t get back to sleep: 
So true sigh