this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I guess I have no way of knowing, and I maybe just think too much about passing, but idk it was kinda the vibe I got.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Yeah it reminds me of the "pity passing" concept on the accursed place, lol. I got a lot of compliments about my winter boots and incredible hair, and yeah maybe the ladies were being overly nice because they know I'm trans, but I think that's okay? Still getting ur gender respected and all. Kinda heartening that dumb old cissies would think to be nice anyway, tbh.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I didn't need to know the term pity passing. What a diseased idea.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Sorry bocchi-cry it is pretty bad, never really understood it myself...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Fuck that brainworm winter boots always deserve compliments. Winter fashion is too cute to do otherwise.

(Also if you have nice hair you'll get complimented on it even when passing as masc in my experience)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

WINTER FASHION FUCKS bridget-vibe tall boots are life

Funny enough, I only started getting frequent compliments on my hair when I went fulltime, lmao. My hair was shorter beforehand tbf, so Idk.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Your hairs down to your butt now ^^

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

True, it is perfect power-genius I guess if I had this hair and was a guy people would compliment it anyway, but if I were a guy I feel like I'd be less likely to have stellar hair.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I don't actively hide that I'm trans, so I don't mind people spotting it unless they're weird.

After I came out as trans but was still mostly boymoding at work, a lot of the older women there would always compliment me when I wore something more feminine, and even though I'm sure it's partly because they know I have some insecurities, it definitely helped me be confident enough to stop boymoding.

I still have some hang-ups about being clocked because the first month or two of presenting femme, when I was just trying my best to learn make-up and outfits (pluss I'd been fewer months on E i guess), I would get clocked pretty frequently and sometimes people would just glare at me and it stressed me out.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

niko-wonderous Thank you, incredible older women!!! Very cool!!! I actually love that honestly.

It absolutely sucks having people get shitty when they clock you though, mood...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

i-think-that I would like compliments from anyone, regardless of if they thought I was trans

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

More and more people are saying it!!!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Well I would like compliments from anyone, especially if they thought I was trans

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I went out grocery shopping with my gf in a pink powerpuff girl sweatshirt and a mask and while I was standing near the door waiting for her to finish checking out a random lady came up to me and complimented my sweater and I was nervous the whole time she was only doing it cuz she knew I was trans.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

obligatory that could be it, but women just compliment other women. it's not even cope, that's just a strange thing to adjust to when every interaction with cis people already feels scary lol. I don't know what her intentions were, and maybe she was being nice because you're fem and she knew you're trans. the point is, she did the mutual girl thing with you and that isn't inherently being patronising

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I mean, women just do this. Like my cis women friends compliment each other's outfits all the time and get compliments from strangers all the time. So do I when I'm wearing one of my SeryphΒ© outfits with all my silly distinctive aesthetics and pieces. (Turns out people love a good beret)

Hell one time I almost complimented a cis woman's outfit since I loved it so much but stopped myself since I was presenting masc at the time and didn't want to come off like I was hitting on her. (It was such a cute sweet lolita too...)

It really doesn't mean that they clocked you, especially if you were masking considering how that can help with passing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

yeah, idk what they would of clocked that being the case tbh
maybe my shoulders? they are technically within average female range, but on the upper part of that especially for my height, idk.
I probably did just look like a chick with my hoodie up and a mask on, so it was probably just that, but I was still worried about it the whole time.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I mean if you were wearing a sweater your actual shoulder width wouldn't be that clear either, from your description you probably just passed and she thought the sweater was cute. Women just do that. At most maybe she noticed you were anxious but that's not an exclusively trans thing. And if it was that she probably thought you were anxious about something unrelated and that complimenting you would have helped you feel a little better.

When you haven't experienced it much it can be a bit odd compared to when you pass as male and get basically 0 compliments, but that doesn't mean that it's them pitying you. It's just a different type of social experience.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hell one time I almost complimented a cis woman's outfit since I loved it so much but stopped myself since I was presenting masc at the time and didn't want to come off like I was hitting on her. (It was such a cute sweet lolita too...)

I remember one time one of my classmates was wearing really cool boots and I screamed "I LIKE YOUR BOOTS THEY LOOK NICE" without even thinking about it and she said thanks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (34 children)

power-genius And here are the worms!!

I know it's really awkward sometimes when cis dorks get overly effusive, but I mean if they're respecting your gender & presentation anyway it's pretty fine right?

It does occur to me though, if cis people really be doing this, there's a much better than 0 chance that they've used whatever their gender criteria is to "clock as trans" another cis person and do the same. Lmao.

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