this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

got high last night and started fantasizing about what it would have been like to have been a neurotypical cis lesbian girl back in high school and how that seemed like a lost world i can never have had but should of, yet i remember following it later with a strong feeling of trans pride in an inexplicable way to where I get to instead have the lived experience of a trans woman, which is rewarding and prideworthy in its own right

now i don't know what to think other than "ugh i got to leave for work soon"

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Pretty much me like half the nights tbh.

Sorry you have to go to work soon.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

being a trans girl isn't cheap. gotta make money however i can

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

>neurotypical

>cis

No greater hell to imagine, no torment more insufferable. Goddamnright to be trans prideful. bridget-pride

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

look, i'd rather not get into the details of what my childhood involved, but it involved massive amounts of physical violence, social alienation and humiliation that lead me to be suicidal at eight years old. I don't truly wish to have been born someone else but can I at least not be wistful of a far simpler life I could have lived instead of this one?

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

No, no, girl. Your first comment was right. It is something to be prideful about, but it's just so hard sometimes. I don't believe I was born wrong. If I was meant to be a neurotypical cis woman, I would have been. But sometimes the weight of it all just feels too much to bear and I can't help but wish. Wish for a different world that would accept me or for a different me for the world to accept. To be a cis lesbian girl who had a high school experience full of awkward teenage romance feels like a fantasy compared to the upbringing I had instead. But if I didn't have it? I wouldn't have been the same person. I don't think I would be able to even recognize myself if I bumped into that alternate reality self

It's a heavy, heavy burden for me to bear. I have the strength to do it, but why must I even struggle in the first place? And I get jealous of those who didn't have to suffer as I did just to have some WLW romance