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So I just came out to like a ton of family, and they are all taking it well which is very surprising to me.
Is it weird that I feel weird as hell? I've been thinking about this for like over a year and like, it's done, and a part of me is scared that I'm actually not trans, that I'm cis, and that I will have to go back... It's weird.
Like I've been doing this for a while now, really almost a year since I started socially transitioning.
8 months on E, I've never really felt better and like all my suicidal ideation issues are pretty much gone. I see myself for the most part. I am happy. Then why do I feel like I'm lying to myself? Why am I so scared that maybe I was all wrong? I don't wanna end my transition. But like I am so so so scared I'll be forced to for some reason... Idk this is a really confusing feeling
I have never looked at your posts and thought anything other than that your brain is tormenting you. Granted I do not know you personally, but also I think cis people do not do gender affirming hormones for months and enjoy it, or feel dismay at being misgendered =) It sounds to me like you have an anxiety thing, y'know they used to say "hypochondria" which I have in some ways too. I'm glad to hear that your family members are being good about this too, nice.
I have diagnosed OCD lol and I started talking with my (AMAZING) OCD therapist about this today actually
Oh nice, congrats!!!
That sounds about right, hoping the therapy sessions are productive for you!!
So far it's just been honestly amazing to have a therapist who is also trans and NB. Like, we just have a mutual understanding and they see and accept me on a level that I haven't gotten with cis therapists so far. If possible I HIGHLY recommend getting a trans therapist if possible, it makes such a big difference.
Another tally for based therapists on bearsite
fuckin awesome.
holy shit lets fucking gooooooo
My family was mainly hurt that I hadn't come out sooner, but like... that was for a reason. They weren't the best on lgbtq+ stuff.
If you wanna be trans, you are. Don't sweat over detransitioning. I think we pretty much all have had the same worries and anxieties as you - youre in very good company, even though it might feel pretty overwhelming. Also, being cis+ and detransing isn't the end of the world anyway - cis+ people are cool, cis+ as in theyve actually grappled with gender as their identity rather than just vibe with what the doctors and parents picked. I have OCD as well, so I get the obsessive thoughts - mine are way more boring like "did you lock the door, did you turn off the stove, did you quadruple check that med, etc".
I said it before, but I remember thinking "well even if I detransition Ill be thankful I have boobs from now on" lol
Maybe you expected a lot of confrontation and because it isn't the way you had it laid out in your head is throwing you off?
But congratulations on coming out to family, it's a huge step and I'm glad that they're accepting of you
Yeah it's like, I feel like they're all on board and then I'm like... What if I'm tricking them? What if I'm secretly cis and I was lying to myself?? Ooohhhh idk lol
Sounds like anxiety, possibly something similar to imposter syndrome? My guess would be all this long build up to get accepted fairly easily is the reason for feeling like this, could be OCD especially if you've been mulling on this for a long time so ran through all the scenarios in your head, you know with like how you'd respond etc..
Hopefully It will pass once the dust has settled
Thank you, yeah I think it's def imposter syndrome and like requestioning now that I have told so many people. Just makes me crazy
I made a post a few weeks ago about feeling like this every time I take some giant step forward. I don't know what it's about but it sucks. It'll subside soon enough and you'll be back to being cool as hell.
Thank you โค๏ธ It has to be a common thing right
drunkenly being philosophical about gender and stuff as I've experienced it so far
I think we all end up walking the same path, even if we all start and stop at different places. Every person is unique, and their experience is unique to them. But it's like we're all walking the same path. The same challenges, the same triumphs. Different characters, different circumstances, same energy.
If I wanted to try and take a drunken stab at being philosophical, for me when I feel like this, I think it's probably a "performative" thing. It's like "You've spoken it, now it's real. Now you must play your role. By telling someone, there are now expectations. By inviting people to see you, you must now be seen."
And for me, my gender apparently sits right at the intersection of OCD and PDA. What's funny is that starting transition and hrt has effectively stopped the ruminating and ideation in its tracks. But then I have big waves of it hit right after I do something big like coming out to my mom.
Wherever it comes from, however it decides to manifest, it'll subside. It's just a thing. And I can choose to ignore it.
Eventually itll be over and now your even closer to being yourself, on your terms.
Congrats on coming out. Hopefully the post-big-step anxiety fades quickly.
Did you intend to come out to them in advance or was it more spur of the moment?
I did plan for a bit, like at least a month