73
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

this shit's too funny i gotta post it

The cognitive dissonance in here is amazing to behold. Now that it turns out that Iran won’t, actually, be wiping Israel off the map and is in fact moving in the opposite direction, it will be exciting to watch the deluge of “patriots in control” type cope overrun Hexbear as the fantasies of destroying Israel fizzle out into nothing. First it was Hamas that was going to destroy Israel, then when that didn’t happen all you stupid fucking braindead marks frantically turned up the gaslighting machine and assured everyone that you didn’t say what you said and moved the goalposts to redefine “victory” as “not completely exterminated”. No amount of lying and gaslighting is going to change the record of your frothing glee on October 7 as you all predicted the imminent collapse of Israel. Now you’re all stuck doing mental gymnastics trying to rationalize taking potshots at soldiers in a bombed out shithole as a “victory” and the successful occupation of half of Gaza and the further seizure of territory in the West Bank as a “crushing defeat”. It’s extremely funny watching all of you go “no we never said Israel was going to instantly collapse” knowing full well that you absolutely fucking did. Then it was Iran that was going to destroy Israel. Whoops! Better start working on your lying gaslighting narrative about how you never predicted that and it’s actually a victory since the new president hasn’t fucked Netanyahu yet and actually the game is still on, hardliners working behind the scenes, trust the plan. Patriots in control. And then Yemen was going to destroy the US Navy, and then that didn’t happen and you repeated your gaslighting trick to pretend you didn’t say that and smugly proclaiming “of course that wasn’t going to happen”, as you redefine victory yet again, this time to mean sinking random cargo ships. Now it’s Hezbollah that’s going to destroy Israel. When that doesn’t happen you’ll all be back on your bullshit with your lying and gaslighting. Now that it’s clear to all that Israel isn’t toppling anytime soon, you’re forced to cope by lying yet again, this time claiming you meant that Israel would gradually collapse from “contradictions” - a term constantly used but never defined. And when that, too, doesn’t happen, you’ll have the relatively easy task of stretching the duration of “gradual” until you’re using geological epochs. You’re all exactly like the NAFO marks on twitter, eagerly proclaiming the latest great victory as the steamroller is actively going over your desiccated corpse. Your ability to completely detach from reality and ramble on about your triumph in the face of an obvious and undeniable defeat would be admirable if it didn’t make you look like the dumbest people on the fucking planet. It’s truly impressive - Israel could completely occupy and annex all of Gaza and it would still be a defeat for Israel and a victory for Hamas. For uh, reasons. I guess after that happens I’ll have to wait a few days before checking back in so you have time to prepare your batshit insane mental gymnastics explanation for why that is the case. See you all in 10 years when America is still the global hegemon, Israel still exists, and the global socialist revolution hasn’t started. I would bet every last penny that you’ll all still be predicting the imminent collapse of the USA. You fucking lost. But you will never, ever, ever acknowledge it. If any one of you got into a fight that ended with you getting shot in the head, you’d be posting “I’ve won, actually, and here’s why” as you’re floating up up and away from your mangled corpse. Any time anything happens, you start from the conclusion that you’ve won and shoehorn anything and everything to fit that conclusion. I guess it makes you feel better about your pathetic self, but if you ever want to actually win, that’s not going to work. But go on, have fun crossing out “defeat” and hastily scribbling over it with “victory” and celebrating as you retreat further and further into the abyss of historical irrelevancy. The world will ultimately move on from the question of Israel. It’s good entertainment watching a group of people who continually, unceasingly eat shit day in and day out make nonstop pronouncements about the inevitability of their global revenge. Sure thing honey! Whatever makes you sleep at night.

pissing myself

all 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

The best part is the giant rainbow that progressively takes up more and more of the screen from the left side, with over half of it consisting of pigpoopballs

[-] [email protected] 63 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Genuinely an incredible comment, I love it. It's the first time that I remember that a lemmitor has come in, guns ablazing, to the news megathread.

Now that it turns out that Iran won’t, actually, be wiping Israel off the map and is in fact moving in the opposite direction

Nobody said that Iran would wipe Israel off the map. We discussed that Iran does in fact possess the ability to do this via targetting Israeli infrastructure and especially nuclear power plants to cause Israel to become unlivable, as the successful strikes on Israeli airfields months ago proved, but that Iran would probably not do this and would allow Hezbollah and Yemen to do so instead so as to not risk millions of Iranians dying in nuclear strikes (as Israel can't really nuke southern Lebanon without also irradiating themselves, and besides, Hezbollah has tunnel networks). Iran gaining a reformist presidential candidate does not meaningfully shift this outlook, because Hezbollah, by itself, can make Israel unlivable. It does not require Iran's help in that regard, and that's implying that the Iranian President will turn into a total comprador and give up on Palestine (which would be untenable and self-destructive for Iran).

First it was Hamas that was going to destroy Israel

This is a wild misrepresentation of the argument. Hamas, by itself does not have the capacity to destroy the Israeli military. The whole Resistance, including Hamas, Hezbollah, Ansarallah, and various Iraqi and Syrian groups, do actually have that ability. Hezbollah has hundreds of thousands of missiles and Ansarallah can blockade Israeli ports (source: the last 7 months). It is also extremely ahistorical to claim that Hamas, and indeed also Hezbollah, should have been able to destroy Israel in 9-10 months, considering that, if you study history, you would know that anti-colonial wars last for several years, and Israel has the full support of the global military hegemon which spends trillions on weaponry every year. Claiming that Hamas has lost already is like being in 1967 and claiming that North Vietnam has already lost and that they should surrender, and that thinking they could possibly beat the almighty United States is utter copium.

Now you’re all stuck doing mental gymnastics trying to rationalize taking potshots at soldiers in a bombed out shithole as a “victory” and the successful occupation of half of Gaza and the further seizure of territory in the West Bank as a “crushing defeat”.

Here's a quick quiz for all the Hexbears and lemmitors who may visit this thread. Where are tunnels located? Are they a) on the surface; b) in the sky; or c) under the ground? Second question: where are Israeli soldiers located in Gaza when they have "successfully occupied" it? If your answer to the first and second questions are different, consider what the implication of that is.

Hamas' strategy from day 1 was to lure Israel into Gaza and then attrit them via tunnel warfare. This is profoundly obvious. The commanders of Hamas carried out a bombastic, exceptionally humiliating mission against Israel on October 7th, and then captured hostages and brought them back into Gaza to force Israel to come in and try and take them back. Why did Hamas spend years digging tunnels under Gaza if not for this purpose? Even the US admits that Hamas is still mostly intact (I've heard upwards of 70% of Hamas remains undestroyed) and hundreds of Israeli vehicles have been destroyed and hundreds more soldiers have been killed. Thousands have been injured, either physically or mentally.

And then Yemen was going to destroy the US Navy, and then that didn’t happen and you repeated your gaslighting trick to pretend you didn’t say that and smugly proclaiming “of course that wasn’t going to happen”, as you redefine victory yet again, this time to mean sinking random cargo ships.

Nobody on Hexbear actually believed that Yemen was going to destroy the US Navy, though we hoped they might sink a ship or two. What did happen is that many Westerners online were like "Haha! Yemen is about to find out why we don't have healthcare when we bomb them to shreds!" and now, Yemen is still perfectly intact and maintaining the blockade. Maintaining that blockade involves "sinking random cargo ships" if they violate sanctions on Israel. Westerners, not Hexbear, shifted the goalposts of victory after Operation Prosperity Guardian collapsed. They are the ones who convinced themselves that actually Yemen wanted to destroy the US Navy and not just enforce a blockade, so they could save face in their defeat, just like how they convince themselves that Putin wanted to conquer all of Ukraine and not just save the Donbass from Ukraine's genocide, as well as other Russia-friendly border regions.

Now it’s Hezbollah that’s going to destroy Israel. When that doesn’t happen you’ll all be back on your bullshit with your lying and gaslighting.

Israel is the one who keeps delaying their offensives against Hezbollah. Once it was going to be in spring; then mid-June; now late July. I wonder why that is? By the way, Hezbollah has forced hundreds of thousands of Israeli settlers to retreat away from the border, and has wiped out Israeli border infrastructure. The true Israel-Lebanon border now lies several kilometers into Israel. There is no possible definition by which Israel is currently winning against Hezbollah.

this time claiming you meant that Israel would gradually collapse from “contradictions” - a term constantly used but never defined.

On Contradiction, by Mao Tse-tung, 1937. Hope this helps.

Why do settler-colonial states not exist anymore (aside from Israel) despite their commonality a century or two ago? Weird question, huh? Maybe the contradictions unique to settler states has something to do with it, and authors like Fanon have explored these interactions in detail when he took part in the Algerian War of Independence, which lasted... 8 years. Not 9 months. And the Algerians experienced over a million deaths, while Palestine has so far experienced hundreds of thousands (the figure will probably be over a million by the time this is all over) And the oppressed people still won?! Huh!? How is that possible? Algeria was a "bombed out shithole" and they still, somehow, won?! North Korea had every single above-ground structure destroyed - American warplanes ran out of targets and had to dump their bombs in the sea to land - and they still survived as a state?!?! What the fuck?!

See you all in 10 years when America is still the global hegemon, Israel still exists, and the global socialist revolution hasn’t started.

America will indeed still be the global hegemon in 10 years, and the global socialist revolution probably won't have started by then. We are talking about geopolitical changes on the scale of decades, not months or years. The tiny attention span of liberals is not our fault, and claiming that these massive changes will take place so quickly is, once again, ahistorical and idiotic. It required the 1914-1945 Crisis for the USA to unseat the UK as global hegemon, so it'll probably take at least 30 years for China to unseat the US. I am currently in my 20s, and I expect to be in my 40s or 50s by the time that the dollar has fallen. Dedollarization will be a painstakingly slow process involving several leaders rotating in and out in Russia, China, Iran, the US, and several other important countries, with changes in strategy, victories and defeats, color revolutions and socialist ones, and definitely a couple financial crashes. Xi, Putin, and Biden will have been dead for decades by the time the American Empire has collapsed. I know liberals can only think short term, but you must widen your politics to the medium and long term too if you wish to be as correct as Hexbear consistently is.

I do think that Israel won't exist by then, though. I think this is their terminal crisis, though they might hold on for a year or two while their society disintegrates and people are unwilling to move there due to lack of safety; we're already seeing internal disagreements and contradictions heighten among the Zionists. Short-term changes in the West Bank are them rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, in order to temporarily appease scared settlers who will not or cannot return to their homes near Gaza or near the Lebanon border. Israel could not exist without the propaganda to support its existence, and "plans to settle Gaza after the war" is like Hitler's daydreams inside his Berlin bunker of one day making a lovely set of cities for the ubermensch inside eastern Europe, while the bangs of Soviet artillery approach closer and closer.

It’s good entertainment watching a group of people who continually, unceasingly eat shit day in and day out make nonstop pronouncements about the inevitability of their global revenge.

An interesting description of the people over on reddit, but I have to agree. Has Russia collapsed from the 11th, or 12th, or whichever sanctions package we're on? Have Western weapons caused the collapse of the Russian army, which has experienced 100 million dead soldiers due to human wave attacks? Has the Chinese government fallen from the economic changes ongoing there, as they consistently claim will happen imminently? Has Hamas and Hezbollah been defeated yet, with armed resistance stopping, as Israel, the "second best military on the planet" promised this operation would only take a few months? Has the DPRK, or Venezuela, or Cuba fallen? Has Yemen's blockade been stopped, with Red Sea traffic returning to normal yet? How's Biden doing? Have the walls finally closed in on Trump?

[-] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago

I feel like this post is more effort than they really deserve, but they'd probably be pissing and shitting themselves trying to think of a rebuttal.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

Posting back is for the audience, not for the op

rat-salute-2 72t

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Truly, this carp comes from the same lake the scroll of wisdom came from

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

We are talking about geopolitical changes on the scale of decades

smuglord but by tankie logic, decades happen in weeks, so the fact that it's been several weeks and u.s. hegemony hasn't collapsed proves you're wrong!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

Nobody on Hexbear actually believed that Yemen was going to destroy the US Navy

I-was-saying gimme just a few ~~Chinese~~ Russian hypersonic missiles. Putin you coward...

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Thank you for the effort post, comrade. 🫡

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I'm a day late to rhis post but still chiming in to say GOOD post

[-] [email protected] 57 points 1 week ago

This is hilarious, you can practically hear the steam coming from their ears pronounjak-rage

Boy, Hexbear sure does say a lot of things that I had no idea we said!

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

I might make an account over there. It sounds like an optimistic place

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

yeah I'd like to know which of our hivemind instance bots actually said all these things.. i need receipts on this stuff because I've been caught completely offguard and I've been at all the Xi / Putin conferences.. there's no way I missed this memo

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

I think there is a lot of "I sure do wish American imperialism would end or at least stub it's toe" that OP mentally upgraded to "gaslighting" and "this time America will be defeated for sure!"

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

If anything most of what we say is wishful

[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago

Israel will be gone by 2030 probably

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

~~Hezbollah~~ Hamas founder's prediction was by 2027

EDIT: oops, my bad

[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago

mods removed it before I could reply "oppa gangnam style" to it sadness

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

I get what they are saying, South Africa famously disappeared from existence after the apartheid state ended.

[-] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago

I don't think I can finish my garlic bread after that pasta anti-italian-discrimination

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Just dip it in some gravy, it'll go down easier.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Gravy?? With Italian food?? :Artie bucco rifle:

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Gravy= marinara you fake Italian

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm Italian American. I'm full of shit by being American. We love taking about or roots like it matters somehow.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

Incredible post

[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago

Israel can't even defeat Hamas...

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

wait.. so Iran is wiping Israel on the map?

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

Sure thing honey!

Antithesis to maybe-later-kiddo

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Daily reminder this loser has been hate-lurking Hexbear for months now with alts like HexbearHatesJews and HexbearLovesFelons. They always pick thelemmy.club for some reason. Their alt is always [email protected].

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Lmao, I don't trust the*.club instances. I remember matrix had some issues with the glowers dot club and I wonder if there's some relation. I doubt it but those people are unhinged.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

Glad to hear someone is happy in this horrible world. Sad they seems to be a demon tho

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

portrait of a cooked brain

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

marks

NoNo MARX

sorry there was more words they wanted to throw around to chastise us for rightfully wanting a dissolution of the Zionist project?

All I see is a bunch of gibberish malarkey being espoused by a lying dog faced pony soldier.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

I really don't remember people saying any of that... The only thing close is the Houthis, and they just caused an Israeli port to down because there's no goods going through it.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Imagine writing this many words and it not meaning anything…

this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2024
73 points (97.4% liked)

copypasta

14181 readers
1 users here now

A place for preserving our history. 😤

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS