You have to be pretty baby brained to think "burglar" is a category of person and not an activity. Yeah man, we just gotta round up all the criminals and ship them to Australia, that'll clean up the streets of England. There will be no more crime after that, because the crime-people are all gone you see
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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the_dunk_tank
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They are a category of people, thankfully they're easy to recognize from the striped shirts and black masks they wear at all times.
Don't doxx Dirt_Owl like this, please
thankfully they're easy to recognize
From the chud perspective, they are. 
Hey? Where did my hamburgers go?!?!?
Robble robble, echos down the hallway
God in the story of Noah
NoHedgehog252 164 points 19 hours ago
I value a slice of cheese and a Ritz cracker more than a burglar's life.
In fact, if I was offered the death of every burglar in exchange for getting punched in the face once, I would take the face punch and millions of dead burglars.
what bizarre genie fantasy is this person living in
"yes, you will get three wishes, but you'll also get two black eyes and a bloody nose." ???
Hotdogman_unleashed 53 points 19 hours ago
Yeah if there was a magic button that once pressed, would eliminate all burglars from existence my regret is that I can only press it once.
?? you could keep pressing the button, even though it's pointless, but it sounds like this person is actually wishing to murder the same people multiple times instead of repeatedly pushing a button
maybe not, maybe somebody just needs to introduce them to stimming toys – "hey buddy, check it out! they make buttons you can keep pressing forever!"
They think there are millions of burglars out there. Like it's a career demographic.
The media narrative on crime is so lazy, but it's persistent.
I'm in five burglars' groups on LinkedIn. I started two.
Plot twist: it's the communism button
: "Yeah, I think that even a dust bunny under my couch is worth protecting over a dirty rule-breaker!"
: "Even if that rule-breaker did a HATE crime?"
: "Any rule but that! Forgive and forget, is that so hard?"
4chan/reddit regularly prove the old joker quote right.
: "You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds. Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!”
"You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan".
Um, hate to break this to you, sweetie, but that's called the adults in the room that are making hard decisions to get shit done. 
I’m very surprised that I erased myself from existence. Totally forgot about that time I stole a matchbox car from a friend during a sleepover when we were in first grade.
Reddit really is liberal 4chan, except Redditors more openly share private information
Their only liberalism is the ability to filter themselves. Otherwise, both are filled with fascists. After several subreddits were banned (namely gamergate, the donald, and incel/MRA groups), they fled to 4chan. It was noticeable, too. Like the place where people openly use slurs saw a shift in how it was used for the worse. Incels used to stay in places like /b/ and /pol/. Now they've taken over /r9k/ and /lgbtq/.
4chan was never good, but how shitty do you have to be in order for Neo-nazis to go "Cool it with the antisemitic remarks?"
Defending your home can only mean killing someone. There's literally no other option. I can't shout at them from another room, hide and call the police, threaten them to leave with a weapon, or fire some kind of warning shot. The only option is to kill someone and end a human life and condemn their entire being to oblivion.
Yes, I'm pro-life why do you ask?
threaten them to leave with a weapon, or fire some kind of warning shot
Playing devils advocate so say this is exactly what you're not supposed to do if you have a gun. There's before a gun is introduced to a situation and after. Once a gun is introduced you're either using it or it's going to be used against you.
Cops wont come for an hour or more so you're left hoping the guy in your house is only looking for some stuff to take. Any rational burglar will just wait till you leave to remove "homeowner with gun" from the equation. If they're breaking it when you're at home, they're probably not in a super rational state.
Completely valid points. I was just trying to list things that could be done other than killing someone if they try to take your Darth Vader Funko Pop. There are so many other options but I probably thought of more violent ones since violence is the entire premise of their generally suburban murder fantasies to kill "thugs" (black people). Like they could just go out of a window and leave if it's on the first floor.
I'm also made deeply uncomfortable over how gun nuts seem to be just waiting for the opportunity to murder.
That being said, I don't agree with having to retreat and be really nice to the guy who broke into your home. I don't like anti-self defense laws at all. We're not talking about stealing Snickers from Walgreens. Home invasions are deeply traumatic events.
Even in communist countries you'd get your ass beat for breaking onto someone's home. I'm more than willing to shrug my shoulders and ask "what did you expect" if you break into a home and get your shit rocked.
Human life is valuable but that’s MY television
calling the police
never in my life.
I don't necessarily disagree with you but I do want to point out that warning shots are illegal, and for good reason. Bullets travel until they hit something, so you better want to blow up whatever you're shooting at.
fire some kind of warning shot
hide and call the police
Falling for this meme in 2024 
I feel like if the push really came to shove they'd get PTSD from it or something
Those tacticool justified murder fantasy enjoying chuds are what I was talking about regarding zombie apocalypse power fantasy hogs.
All of the setup is just decoration and justification for "MURDER COOL OINK OINK" payoffs. 
This is why shooting cops entering your home is completely valid
I mean if the break into the wrong house you should have no consequences for defending yourself.
Some people have gotten away with it when their house was the right one.
I lost several weeks of my life to a job to get money to get the television. There is no difference between defending the TV and defending my body.
The boss who stole weeks of your life is the real burglar in this scenario and you should be able to shoot him if necessary
And what kind of tv is this guy getting that he's spending a month or more in wages??
Americans are fucking psychos
I think there's a huge difference between breaking into someone's home, or car/garage/shed/etc. If you are breaking into my car, or shed, you obviously are just looking to take things. I'll definitely yell, shine a flashlight on you, whatever. If you are unstable enough to break into someone's home, while they are there, asleep, your intentions are not clearly about taking my things. At that moment, you lose the right to be yelled at or scared off.
What is this face supposed to convey?
the need to be punched
That meme is about sexism not self defense. You can argue pro or con if someone breaks in, possibly armed, people might be scared and fear being raped etc and have a right to defend themselves. The problem:
While you're arguing you're ignoring the sexism inherent in the depiction of the "annoying AOC women limbrol" on top vs the "grinning cool chad" on the bottom panel.
It's like the perfect meme complex to deliver it's fascist message hiding below a debatable shit-message. Both sides will repost this and debate and thus the sexist underlying message spreads.
Most Burgerlanders have wet dreams about their chance at a justified kill.
The fuck is wrong with Americans? So much obsession with elaborate fantasies of home invasions and stuff so they can jerk themselves off about being free from legal repercussions when they kill someone.
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