this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Nah, they'll be fine, well, fine-ish. The cops will see someone walking with a pack and arrest them for vagrancy before they can get into too much trouble from the elements.
But for real, I know next to nothing about this sort of thing and even I know 1. Do not fuck around with mountains 2. Do NOT fuck around with desert.
Oh, and one more thing: You're not walking to Mordor, you're walking through Mordor. There's next to no water, the water that's there is poison, the temperature swings wildly between extremes, and most of the humanoids you'll come across will get angry and violent if they see you
There's next to no water, the water that's there is poison, the temperature swings wildly between extremes, and most of the humanoids you'll come across will get angry and violent if they see you
So 
is pretty lore accurate
was enough to revise the Hitchhiker's Guide entry from mostly harmless — Ford Prefect, probably
Yeah, the idea of walking through Nevada, when you’re not extremely experienced, is insane to me.
Going through that part of the country for the first time was wild to me because until you're there it doesn't occur to you that there is no shade anywhere. Even in an air conditioned car you will still be uncomfortably warm because the sun will be beating down on you for the entirety of daylight. I can't even begin to imagine hiking through that, I'd be experiencing heatstroke within an hour.
Yeh. The walk to Mordor was much more hospitable than trekking across the American West.
I want to say that Mordor proper was actually pretty fertile agricultural land and that's why Sauron was able to project so much power - He had a very strong industrial and agricultural base to operate from.
That looks boring as fuck, imagine walking across the Great plains. Just days and days of corn and grass.
Why don't they do the Appalachian Trail or something else cool and normal instead?
Idk I feel like the first part of the walk would be pretty varied, but once they get past the Rockies it would be so monotonous
You know, I think the last time someone did a long walk through Navajoland 3,500 people died and they wrote a national anthem about it.
I hope they're just walking on the highway because that route is a death sentence if you try to pathfind your way to the end.
Literally going through the worst mountains, deserts, and basins just for a fucking bit.
Right, didn't Frodo go through relatively hospitable if extremely wild terrain for most of it? Like yes Moria sucked, but until Mordor I remember it being pretty varied but otherwise normal terrain
Yeh. The hike to Mordor was all through temperate England. And even Mordor wasn't anywhere near as bad as the Western US deserts.
Or you could go to New Zealand and hike from Hobbiton to Mount Ngauruhoe (the Mount Doom from the movies) in a quarter the distance, with more varied terrain, in a country with dedicated hiking huts, and probably chain together a bunch of hiking trails along the way.
But where is your sense of adventure? Where is the thrill of death lurking around every corner? Be it hypothermia, hyperthermia, dehydration, or Mormons.
Mormons
The worst of all, and not just the transphobia — you might even encounter Mitt Romney.
Mormons
I'll stick to balrogs.
Wait this has to be a joke right? They plotted their way to walk through Death Valley. No one is that stupid right?
My first reaction was, is this guy literally trying to walk through the very aptly named death valley?
The Donner party has entered the chat.
is he stupid? does he think the fellowship would've walked all that way if they had access to trains?
Well if they're trying to do some fucked up Lord of the Rings style pilgrimage or whatever really what they should be doing is making the trek while avoiding the US surveillance state. You know, for authenticity.
Nah, it's like the giant eagles. Sauron might see them
he cant see trains cos they're operated by poor people
adding days to my trip by zig-zagging the path for no reason
The majestic scenery of... Utah?
I know you're probably just making a joke but Utah is legit like one of the top 5 most beautiful states. There's Arches and Canyonlands National Park to the east by Moab (as well as some beautiful state parks). As you travel south east from there you hit Capitol reef and then Zion! Also on the borders of Arizona and Nevada there's Monument Valley and Great Basin. Just got back from an incredible trip out there lol.
I don't like deserts.
If the desertic mountains have green valleys between them, maybe
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mount zion and stuff
Just do the AT, PCT or CDT, you liitle freak.
PCT has become extremely hazardous in the last few years due to global warming. Less water, more fires, much more intense heat. It's pretty grim.
Yeah, it’s so sad. I did it a few years ago in a low burn year, and even then, we had to skip over maybe 200 miles of fires.
living is an elaborate way to kill yourself. the goal is making the rube goldberg machine go on as long as possible.
do not fuck around in the great basin, I am always saying this
It's doable if you have a significant support group that can cache food and water for you and drive you too and from shelter at night. Long distance treks like this usually rely on having a lot of help.
Doing it alone, though, you're right, it's just a very complicated way to seriously injure yourself. If you're a hundred miles from anywhere and roll your ankle without someone who can come get you you're going ot have a bad day.
It's possible, but it needs a lot of logistics. You need a top-noch ultralight pack and gear because it is going to be very heavy. The Colorado leg of the trip will probably be the easiest in that front because you can find water to purify in the Rockies and forests, but a lot of these legs seem over 50mi between cities with sparse water. This means you might need to carry >5l of water (haven't gone backpacking in deserts often, take this with a grain of salt) and a ton of food. You will need to hit every town you come across to restock and a ton of your equipment will break and it will be hard to replace high quality hiking equipment in Bumfuck, Nevada. I have no clue how you'd do the death valley leg safely and with enough water, food and shelter. The Rockies will rough you up a bit but at least there's water there, unlike the desert legs.
This really should not be your first hike, though. Maybe that goes without saying.
haven't gone backpacking in deserts often, take this with a grain of salt
I feel like that would be counterproductive.
Oddly enough, you would want many, many grains of salt. Since you sweat so much in the desert you need to be fairly careful to replenish electrolytes to avoid an imbalance.
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Do you have access to lembas bread, magical clothing, and the fate of all of Arda? No? Then don't do it, nerd.
If the Mormons don't get him, Ceasar's Legion will
This is what American Exceptionalism will do to a motherfucker. Choose one of the several long hikes with actual infrastructure, dumbass!