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SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Let's have another good week everyone 
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Oooh okay I see now. Because when you do think/talk about it I'm always just like
and it sounds like you have like, the perfect, completely "typical" sexuality/sex life/whatever.
Honestly I chalked this up to you processing trauma, and so just thinking a lot of normal things a bit later then most people would I guess. Because none of what you've said seems odd to me.
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You said you had been bad and then asked for beautiful autistic lesbians to hit on you! No brianrot allowed!!Oh my gosh Eggnog you're wonderful lol
Thank you, but not only is my sex life the furthest thing from "typical", you also didn't watch everything go dead-bedroom for about six years while I was trying to recover from trauma while being overworked and overmedicated. It was absolute suffering, you've seen a little. I needed many years in a good environment with a wife who loves me to get here.
Lol I always am, true. I assume the average person, allosexual or otherwise, tends to involve other people in their sexbrain a lot more, it seems like most people have more externalised desires, looking for specific types of people they like or "dom" roles and stuff, y'know. Some people also do this so I'm not unique, but y'know. I think I have arrived here slightly weird =)
Also though?
Why is that feeling not your favourite? You know you shouldn't feel ashamed just for having sexual desires, and frankly desiring a beautiful woman to do all that is normal and healthy, I'm pretty sure. You Deserve It, remember!!
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I have been living in unrepentant sin (please autistic lesbians though), other then that I've been goodDon't call me brian
I guess that's fair, I wasn't thinking of that. I'm sorry for all your suffering. I was just thinking about how you seem to be lately (I haven't known you all that long).
hmm, yea probably. At least more then it sounds like you do.
Wow you've gotten me at a really chatty day, I haven't shared this much about myself in forever. It just feels gross. Especially with (basically always) women talking about how gross people doing that makes them feel. I don't want to make someone feel that way, I don't want to be that, none of it.
Uh also I'm single(/not really sure when [or if but let's not get too doomer] that will change) so that makes it a bit sad too. Wanting something you don't have, its not great folks
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Not good enough for brainrot though!! Gotta save what little good you've been for the autistic lesbians =)Don't apologise, I'm happy to chat about it and whatnot. You are catching me at my personal best though, I'm doin' great
bein' weird n shit.
I'm happy I caught you like this! We were just talking earlier about how you deserve stuff and freedom of expression, so this is productive!! The reason women (and also everyone else lol) hate when men do that is because it's objectification that is not fun or consented to, it's some random creeping on you. It's hard to tell what contexts are socially correct to do it in, but I guess generally you don't wanna be thirsting over someone right in front of you unless they are happily flirting back? Again just keep it in mind. You should ask TerminalEncounter or someone about this, maybe... You certainly don't need to feel ashamed for just having those thoughts though, you know? People adore bottom energy, and etc!
True but also people are single all the time and being incredibly gay and single isn't inherently bad or sad. Would be nice to have gf for those times though
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Hell yea, love being at our bestsI know. I think I'll just think about our earlier conversation, after typing and deleting a bunch of shit I think its just upsetting me and maybe I'll just leave it there. Thank you for talking with me.
I think we might just have different experiences. It is both sad and bad for me.
I think the issue is less having those thoughts, and more (usually) dudes not keeping them to themselves.
You shouldn't feel ashamed of them, that being said the idea of showing even a modicum romantic/sexual interest towards other women has always been terrifying outside of people I'm already in a relationship in, simply for the same fear of being perceived as a creep.
Like I can make the most heinous jokes towards the cishet men I work with, if nothing else because I know most of those fuckers are just as bad towards women. But the idea of giving even a platonic compliment on a women's choice of clothing feels intimidating.
I'm really hoping once I start presenting as a woman that shit will wash away, but who knows.