Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
β¬ οΈ Left π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ Be Crime Do Gay Webring π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ Right β‘οΈ
SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Let's have another good week everyone 
oh! before i forget, we're gonna be watching movies this saturday on our very own special trans cytube channel! this week's features are gonna be Fire Island and Hadestown. probably gonna get started around 8 PM EST
Not a fan of the "ironic" misogyny I'm still seeing on this website. We need a TC_69 purge for those losers.
I'm gay as fuck but there's this one male coworker I have who's really tall and masculine and they make me feel so small and feminine in comparison so he gives me a fluttery feeling.
Unfortunately I found out he's going through the steps to become a cop. 
Just had an interaction at work where a guy initially thought I was a dude and then corrected himself by asking for my pronouns. I am at that wierd middle part of of transition where being correctly gendered is like a coin flip (weighted against my favor unfortunately)
He then apologized if I felt like I wasn't seen and that gendering people correctly is important to him.
Need more allies like him. Fuck, I'm crying a little now.
Life as a stealther
Just had a whole ass (relatively civil) argument with my coworker about trans politics (and trans kids specifically). Had to do a lot of educating and explaining, but I love and am experienced in live debate, so I was having fun and doing well, maybe changed his mind on a few things if I was lucky. At the end of our shift, I drop a final point and refer to trans people as "us" (including myself) and my coworker gets the reddest, most br*tish, face you've ever seen, hahaha. One of the most fun things about being stealth is that you can just carpet bomb the preconseved notions people have about you and about trans people at any time, and I always love to take that opportunity (when I feel safe to do so); I'm lucky enough to have that choice, so I feel an obligation to be visiblely trans when I can and represent us, you know?
all transmega posters go to sleep together in the same comically wide bed like this btw
rambling about trans/intersex solidarity, mentions of transphobia
something that frustrates me as being absent from the discourse around trans people, and kids in particular, is that their accusations, completely untrue in the case of trans kids, are true about another group of kids - intersex ones. and i very rarely hear anyone talking about this. there are kids being subjected to unconsensual surgeries and hormones, and we need to do something about that. the experiences of trans and intersex people with the medical establishment can seem opposite but they both come down to the same basic problem; that it is medicine trying to colonise gender and force our bodies to conform to their fucked up ideas of what they should be. we owe it to each other and to the children to fight together.
i'm eternally frustrated by how the rightwing, the fash, the terfs, wholesale lift the experiences of intersex children, use it as a weapon against the trans community, and then if they mention intersex kids at all - which they rarely do - it is simply to say that it's fine because it's correcting a mistake when it is done to us. and the best response the trans community seems to come up with is "no we don't do that actually". i think calling out their hypocrisy, forcing them to actually answer to what they've done in terms of misusing the suffering of intersex people, and being consistent with our own beliefs by including intersex liberation in our struggle in a meaningful way, would be a far better way to counter the narrative surrounding trans kids than what we're doing at the moment.
Big news!! I won a scholarship today!!!! And I got my loan NoA and it's 2k higher than I expected!!!! I am now able to pay for my entire coming year of tuition and rent, and my jobs (which are already locked in barring one that is basically locked in) will be enough to cover food and then some!!!!!!!! I might even maybe be able to afford that big $500 order of indie chinese lolitas I've been wishlisting sometime before Christmas!!!!!!!!!!
(CW: Transphobia)
Just got a text from my father and I read it while I was still working and it kinda fucked me up, I was struggling a bit to do the last bit of tutoring for the day.
Context is I had said I could probably meet up for lunch Sunday if I'm not collapsed on my bed due to work. Since I have a 12 hour outdoor work day on Saturday and this week is also just long in general. And he knows that. Oh and during our call Sunday my mother yelled at me over his phone again and tried to gaslight me about how she had told me that she wants me homeless when I brought it up. So this is coming right after that. Fun.
"OK, Sunday, choose the place and stop whining, you know that there is still a place for you here and that your life would be easier if you were ready to wait a few more years for your transition."
Just. I know it's not the absolute worst thing I've gotten from either of them about it. But it just hurts so much more deeply for some reason. I want to just get into bed and curl up to cry but I need to shower and eat first since I only just got off work so I'm gonna have to zombie through that for an hour or some such before I can let this emotionally settle and that sounds fucking awful right now.
Oh and he has literally never once called me by my name. He compromised by saying he would switch to my old nickname which I was fine with, only to then immediately stop using it and go back to my deadname.
Thesis: i want to post in the mega and talk to other trans folks
Antithesis: i have nothing to say
Synthesis: post meaninglessness
I wish I had more to talk about these days. I guess when you hit 2 years into transition, the exciting stuff is ongoing or has already occurred. Not much to get super excited about except the slow, gradual transition that's not so fast like breasts or what have you. Skin's smooth. Breasts, heaving. Body hair, thinned. Voice, trained. Vagina, gotten. Fat, redistributed/ing. Idk, I feel out of place here nowadays. Kinda sucks. Guess I could talk about top surgery and how it's going to even out my breasts? Seems like a boring thing to drone on about.
EDIT: I just realized this post can be considered humble bragging. I swear to the gods I just wanted to make a post about how I can't really relate to a lot of you anymore :\
Was in the deep, deep south yesterday. The kinda place with like 5k population, no major cities for 2+ hours, no cell signals. Stopped at a gas station to refuel, piss, and get some snacks for the road. Standing in line waiting to pay, and this old woman starts slowly walking towards me. I didn't know what was about to happen but she gets really close to me and smiles and says, "I love your shirt. I do." and then smiles again and nods and I'm trying not to tear up, dawg. I paid for my stuff smiling and then drove away pretty happy.
I was wearing this shirt
Idk man, shit is alright sometimes
"Living in sin" makes it sound so much more lascivious and dirty than it is. Like sure Aunt Germaine, the wife and I were just hanging out cuddling and watching slop and eating cookies, but sure, we were fucking LIVING IN SIN!! OH, HOW DEBAUCHED, THE UTTER INDECENCY, A 24/7 LIFE OF LECHEROUS LESBIANISM!!!!! 
Some cute lesbians in a Subaru are running around with bubbles in the park next to the center 
I can't stand when people bathe themselves in cologne/perfume. You don't need that much! I shouldn't be able to smell you from another room, and the smell shouldn't linger in rooms you haven't even been in!
went through some older selfies, pre- and early transition and compared them to my most recent one
gosh darn i just keep getting cuter 
gonna feed the MOFUCKIN DUCKIES today because I have been sad and the birds make me happy
Chat is it misogyny if within your family you (not a woman but consistently gendered as one) and your mom are always expected to do the cooking to the point where your brother and your dad don't know how to cook. Oh and also they're always going out with their friends (obviously not COVID-safely) while you have to work ~1 hour a day (not every day but most days) for a meal that they might not even end up eating but expect to have on the table anyways. Oh and also there is not really any way to shorten that cooking time because cooking a full Chinese family-style meal is the expectation and there's no real way to get out of that. Is this that Feminism 101 concept of "invisible labor" that we like to talk about. Because I feel like in my family I'm the only person who sees this and I don't dare bring it up because if I do I'll be made to feel ridiculous.
Is this that Feminism 101 concept of "invisible labor" that we like to talk about.
yes, absolutely
MODS?! A fucking deer ate a bunch of my tomato plants in the garden. There are a bunch of lettuce plants like 10 feet away that I wouldn't even have been mad if they munched on instead. Now I'm probably not even getting heirloom tomatoes this year. No caprese salad?
bad feels
spoiler
___Ughhhhh... I had to move back in with my parents in the suburbs a few months ago (which obv destroyed my social life). My mom has taken to her insane habit of searching my room everyday like when i was a teenager smoking pot. The other day she took my E and syringes and I confronted her about it because I'm a fucking adult and she has no right to take my shit. Anyhow, as a result of this she outed me to my bigoted dad. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this. I've used They/Them for two years now and they haven't gendered me correctly once. It feels really bad. I need to get away from these people.
Increasingly feeling like Hexbear being normal about women: (Challenge: Impossible)
We need another TC_69 Purge.
Wish I was in a better mood to celebrate being first.
Hope you feel better soon 
I finally did an injection for the first time. I did it through the stomach - I got most of it in there, but I chickened out at the last second because it started feeling tingly and I panicked. In hindsight, it was probably the alcohol causing a reaction, which is probably fine.
You can probably tell by reading my other posts that I'm very paranoid about something going wrong, which didn't help, because I got so nervous after doing it that it got harder to breathe, which made me think something went wrong... But after a few hours, I'm pretty sure it went well. Now I just have to hope it works, because it's really out of my hands now.
Y'know what's bullshit??? Women's tanktops. No I do not necessarily want a sideboob window that is a foot fucking long, no I do not want some elaborate cutout window in the back showing my brastraps off, I am going biking for fucks' sakes. Fuck you whoever made EVERY tank like this. 
I hate it when people say "You just have to man up." No, thanks. I'd rather not.
I just got a letter in the mail informing me that the amazing informed consent clinic that is entirely queer owned and ran is going to close in a few months. I'm pretty upset about it. The letter said they would help my find a new Dr so I'll talk to them about it when I have my next appointment. 
two weeks ago i wore a dress for the first time in two years inside, now I wore one walking to the store. big moves are happening in the life of yor
My gf said she can fix me, itβs nice to find someone who can see your potential, idk where we are going right nowβ¦the park I think. 
Too autistic to act normal, not autistic enough to stop caring 
Also I love how emojis let you set the tone of a comment, this is an accessibility feature.
My secret for posting? I wait until I have a good day, and I am exhausted enough to the point where I don't have enough brainpower to question myself or second-guess my decision. Sometimes I feel like I act better when I'm tired, I probably mask way too goddamn much for my own good. The worst part about it is that I can't really control it ππ€£π.
Iβm lying awake in my bed wondering why software wizards donβt actually have any wizards in them. Seriously, wtf. Instead of some crappy progress bar, wouldnβt you rather have a little wizard in your computer that chants a spell in front of a crystal ball and magically summons software for you? I know I would. How could they just lie to us like that.
my body feels a lot more feminine now. very little has fundamentally changed but it just feels like a woman's body today in an indescribable way
I have to go to the mechanic and i realllly dont want to 
So instead ill go tomorrow i guess 
and pray nothing falls off the car and make me 
(joking, the car is not that bad, it just needs some help, im not driving on highways, and am being safe)
Wife problems that are not actually problems but kinda: I tend to wake up an hour or two earlier than my wife does. Which, weh! Why can we not wake up together in beautiful gay harmony!! Me laying in bed reading gay slop awaiting wifey to arise!!! 
got a lil nervous about my first injection in two years, but I did the best technique I've possibly ever done with no issues 
venting about some unexpected ptsd stuff (surgery regret)
I haven't gotten blood work since I was in the hospital almost 2 years ago. there are a lot of things I was aware of having trouble with after everything happened, but I haven't been to a big medical facility or had blood work since then. I figured I preferred not to going to a facility because it's annoying and outright didn't get blood work because it's not my favourite thing to do
in reality, that sinking feeling in my stomach happened as soon as I got the facility and I found myself in a fog as I struggled to stay focused. when I sat down to get my blood work it turned into actual dread and I very embarrassingly started tearing up. I'm sure the technician just thought I was nervous, but that wasn't it. I was able to hold off sobbing until I left, but the annoying tears and sinking feeling took a while to go away
just feel embarrassed over all of it
I've been getting really into cute socks lately. Definitely an underrated way to get some of that sweet sweet gender euphoria, on the down low π
