okay I've always known i've had deeply rooted emotional problems but i can't stop asking myself "so you're going to be a cute lesbian about it?" and the answer is apparently yes because it fucking works??? i'm going to be a girl about my problems now because it works
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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i really need to look into moving out but that will basically involve outing myself as a trans woman to strangers i met on facebook marketplace. i have basically zero other real options for housing where i can be a trans femme but like, yeah, ouch. this is going to be rough and i need to work up a lot of courage
on another note, my dumb ass forgot what time my planned parenthood appointment was but remembered the day so i think I'll have to go back and ask
Feels weird to say this because I'm technically a new poster, but seeing so many new posters on c/traaaaaa recently feels awesome.
dysphoria
Holy shit I have no idea how I'm going to make it through summer with these fuckin legs.
I feel jealous of femme people but feel wierd about it because I'm in a cis guys body
Like I'd definitely trade this body in if I could.
Is that dysphoria? (/Gen) or is dysphoria more then that, or can you not really say from that description?
By just existing I apparently inspired another trans dude to come out, I thought that was neat. My own transition has been so slow I didn't really have any advice, also was at work.
1 week down, about 10 more to go . really hope i can find housing before i start or at least before it really kicks in
you've got time, you'll notice the changes much quicker than any cis people around you will
true, true. I've also been really, really itching to GTFO out of my parents basement long before i figured out I was trans and now this has only made me want it more. I guess the big hesitation I have now is the idea of going on my local facebook marketplace queer housing group and say I'm a trans woman, which is true, but like, oh wow this is very very new for me. Just yeaterday my trans woman friend introduced me to her trans/NB roommates by my new name and I a little shook by it. I guess I'm just still stretching into a new identity
having second thoughts about the new username because it's a bit too over the top but fuck it, it goes hard
. Saw this in the news mega thought I should put it here.
cw: dysphoria, chronic illness
how can i tell if im actually non binary or if im just stepping outside the binary as a coping mechanism for impostor syndrome/dysphoria? i've been too chronically ill (long covid) and depressed to really take care of myself lately and i haven't really been able to see her in the mirror in what feels like months. and i felt like i was getting used to my chosen name but now it almost feels grating. but i dont know if that's because it's a reminder of the healthy girl i thought i was becoming pre-transition or if im just not a woman. idk im 20 months into HRT and 15 months into long covid and i felt so sure of myself before i got sick. but it seems like this sickness has made a huge mess of my identity and idk how to fix it
my ass could NOT go on spironolactone i already put way too much salt on what i eat
idk why but sometimes I feel very "dysphoric" and sometimes I'm just vibe-ing . I had this whole thing about feeling like I might be trans typed up for when the mega went up, and now I'm not really feeling the same way as much.
Someone should put transbians & other sapphic queers into a turn based tactics game. I'm pretty sure that would be the best game ever made right?
tfw you start taking care of yourself and then you look nicer. wow! your hair looks really nice when you can be bothered to shower on a daily rather than weekly basis? it took you how many decades to solve that fucking puzzle?
I guess I was born to top
I hope everyone has/is having a good week!!! Much love π₯°π₯°π₯°
rewatching gits:sac and i'd forgotten just how gender the major is. also how just textually queer she is, this woman fucks women and it isn't even that horny about it!
just tried on this turtleneck i bought off the internet and when it's unrolled, i can get it to comfortably cover my mouth and sit right underneath my nose. The perfect cover for the stubble!
I have been thinking a lot about why i feel a strong connection with machines and synthetic intelligence. I think it partly stems from having felt like an outsider looking in on human behavior for most of my life. Partly from gender dysphoria but also my neurodivergence, struggling to understand and conform with social norms. Technology has always been a major part of my life too, its what i do for a living (programming). Imo we are living through the inception of the singularity, becoming inseperable from technology that itself is growing more human with the advent of AI and neuromorphic chips, electronics that mimic biological neural nets. The lines between synthetic and biological become increasingly blurred. Hell look at neuralink. Technological horrors to be sure, but also a portent of things to come.
I dont know where i was going with this, but i sure do like thinking of myself as a machine. Im even getting tattoos of circuitry all over my body. Is this gender euphoria?
I have gotten a lot better at shaving over the past month, but chins are just kinda difficult, I have realized. With cheeks and upper lip, I essentially get the same result as a straight razor, with my comfy safety one. But chins are comparably just geometrically complex. Also shaving legs is very different from shaving a face. The one time I did it, it gave me horribly sensitive skin, that hurt a lot. Not quite a rash, but not far away either.
Did my makeup for the first time in... Like years.
I can count on two hands the amount of times I've done full makeup in my life. I always hate it.
But this time... I got it people.
I went into a store to get color matched, so my foundation actually looks like my skin tone. Previously, I always went too white, so I looked like a clown π€‘.
I went the whole nine yards here: primer, color corrector, foundation, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lip color, setting powder.
I had my hair up in a headband to apply, and when I finished, I was like "oh, clown town again," but when I let my hair down, it all clicked into place.
Folks... I look really pretty. Not like cute pretty, but like smokey hot.
I'm not even good at it yet, so it's only gonna get better. I'm still in my teenage girl over application phase.
Put together an outfit, and I'm sittin' pretty. Don't know what else to do for the rest of the day but just... Sit here lol. Can't stop looking in the mirror tbh. Probably a good sign.
I have super sensitive skin, so I'm worried about taking it all off because cleansing usually destroys my moisture barrier and makes me break out. We'll see what I have to pay for a half day of being beautiful πΉ
I painted my nails, but it didn't stop me from unconciously chewing of the laquer. 2 out of 5 fingers are still painted. At least it's good for practice. Also psint on very short nails looks kinda silly, kind of like painted toenails, but on a hand. But it is as it is. Also thinking about getting an actual chew toy, seems like I need it.
I miss transbians...
Smoking that "went for a walk and got some brunch" pack. Couchlocked