Our megathread numbers have been dropping.
Could someone phone Soros and tell him to increase the hormones in the water supply?
My social credit score has me locked out until I post 1000 pro-Putin comments.
this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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I think that's been due in part to the disruption of our time in the sitewide stickies. Or it could be something else. I couldn't really tell you. Though I have seen a decent reduction in unique participants.
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Curse summer for being too hot to wear the outfits I want to wear
My fashion tier list:
S: Autumn
A: Spring
B: Winter
D: Summer
hair finally starting to feel vaguely long again. feels nice :)
How do you all deal with dysphoria? For me, it's actually difficult to notice in the midst - even though it absolutely intrudes on my quality of life in severe ways, I only notice it when I mitigate it, and during extreme moments, like bigoted encounters. Because of this, there is a subtle, cumulative effect that begins to grow when I don't live within the bounds of my maintenance, presentation, and behavioral routines. The thing is, I absolutely resent, like loudly fucking HATE not being able to just be and exist and have that be okay. The fact that I have to mentally and physically reaffirm to myself nonstop, in every possible way, that I am feminine, is driving me insane. I just want to be, but if I do that, I end up becoming dysfunctional as dysphoria feeds into depression and the dropping of my routines, i retreat socially, and all kinds of functional behavior falls apart as dysphoria ramps up.
I have issues with my facial hair, which i can't afford to get removed right now, and there are surgeries i'd like, but I am mostly happy with what hormones have done by themselves to me physically. So body wise a lot is fine... However, in all matters social, I just want to ambiently "be", but I literally get miserable if I don't express my feminine side enough. If I don't keep myself dressed up, shaved, and able to look at myself and go "yeah you're a girl" to the mirror, and believe it, I fall the fuck apart.
I don't know if there are mental tricks, if there are ways to make myself comfortable with the work of constant self affirmation of my own femininity? I am aware this understanding of who I am and what I need is largely localized to my own experience, but I guess I'd like people's insight if this post resonates with you at all.
My God I feel this so so so hard. For me it's confusing because it feels like my behavior is quite masculine, or at least somewhat masculine, and just like existing by myself puts me in this headspace where I'm like fuck am I just a guy oh God oh God. Or like when I mention this to literally anyone, no one is like " I think you're being hard on yourself". Everyone just affirms that I act masculine, which just sends me down the dysphoria spiral. So then I try to present more femme but still just incessantly get misgendered by everyone 😩 feel like I'm going insane and I can't really fix it at all, unlike my physical appearance. The hardest thing is that I do feel like I'm expressing myself in a fem way and it apparently is so far off from reality I feel like I can't trust my feelings
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Tried out tightlining recently, and I love how it makes my eyelashes appear fuller. Nice to finally have some makeup that doesn't take too much time or effort 
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I saw the most embarrassing and corporate pride recently that even had a booth for the cops there too lol. how are queer people okay with this? 
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CW: body horror, fluids, blood and dysphoria:
spoiler
So the last time I had a period was well over 5 years ago, guess what decided to happen today? Last time I had to deal with periods and PCOS grade cramps I had things called bathroom breaks at work and I could call out and not be penalized since PCOS is no joke and tbh gets messy fast, like soak through an overnight pad in blood as fast an hour, though thankfully that degree of heavy usually never lasted longer than a day. This job penalizes even if you're out dying of covid in the hospital.
Anyway, as a perpetual closer there are no bathroom breaks since no one else can back me up. To make matters worse I've gained weight from stress lately and I only have one fitting pair of black pants. I'm worried about how this is going to play out since when I still had them (years ago) I'd have the bleeding for up to weeks. I'm dreading the scoldings about smelling like blood already (got them at my last physical job) and also worried about the logistics, can't switch pads out if I get hit by a flood unlike I could then. I have a super long trip this week to get to the dentist (7am to coming home at 8pm), but at least I can swap out every 4hrs. Lastly, this is obviously a somewhat outing occurrence and I haven't been this worried since I got hit by the 1 pad an hour on a day I had 4 finals on back in college. I'm sure all this just happened due to having to drop my T dose due to losing insurance.
I dont feel comfortable going outside w/o concealing my beard shadow and that requires very close shaves plus makeup, with audhd and sensitive skin, this saps my entire energy for the morning, i hate it and my insurance refuses hair removal without therapist sessions which i cant get bc the ones that arent hitler have their place overrun
Seems I'm not aromantic after all. I just want to be in a lesbian romantic relationship so bad 
Maybe this will be the year I finally try dating
holy fuck it's been like 6 weeks now and i'm like 98% sure at this point they've grown somewhat holy fuck 
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Discussion of transphobic phenomenon
"Sex realist" is an interesting phrase. So-called "sex realists" call themselves that because they think they're acknowledging that sex is "real," right? But it reminds me of two other "realisms" - race realism and capitalist realism. Sex "realism" like race "realism" takes a couple actually existing traits about a given population like skin color or secondary sex characteristics, and runs wild with that, over-generalizing to the extreme and claiming bullshit about IQ, emotional disposition, etc. in order to prop up their fascist ideology. As for capitalist realism, well, it's quite apparent that for the "sex realists," it is easier for them to imagine the end of the world than it is to imagine the end of sex. Sex realists indeed...
if sex is so real then how come i never had it before
czechmate, turfs
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The mirror has become an interesting place for me this last year
god i have to get started on laser. all this constant shaving has the bottom of my chin look like fucking Passchendaele
I'm at the point where I'm not even really trying to shave until I get laser. It's just tearing up my face
talking about my tits again
my nipples have now gotten so sore that i had to put on a bralette under my work shirt today. fortunately it's extremely well hidden, completely invisible underneath :)))
ネタバレ
I'm so glad I missed this. The pain that those around me had to deal with seemed unbearable at times. Like, don't get me wrong, my tits hurt and have constantly for like a year and a half now, but never to this extent. Mind you that could be explained by the fact that I've had breasts since I was like 13 years old, so I never had to go through those early stages of development.
Hopefully you've got a good stock of bralettes. That pain doesn't subside for a while if my mousy wife is anyone to go by.
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i watched i saw the glow earlier (it has torrents up for it now so go watch it if you havent yet) and i dont rly have words to describe how it effected me. but ive been on the verge of crying all day lmao
why do i keep getting so scared and nervous even just watching trans voice lessons on youtube? forget following along, i can't even get myself to simply watch the videos, what the hell?
It's hard, and it's something you need to practice a lot over time. In general learning new skills is difficult to maintain. Especially if you're not interested in the mechanics of voice and sound, it can be a slog.
Unlike doing HRT or hair removal, which we can just do and move on, voice training is something we feel we can fail at. So there's the added anxiety of "I can't do this" or "I'm fucking up so much" or "this isn't actually me" or "this feels like a fake cartoon voice".
It's a looooong process. Trans voice lessons said that your new voice becomes natural when you use it on accident at least 50% of the time. I can't even maintain it for an evening while trying, let alone doing it on accident lol.
All of these factors lead it to be anxiety inducing, imo.
HOWEVER, it's also one of the things you can pretty much practice anywhere, and it's free, so it's a lot more accessible than other things. Also, it's got me interested in singing, and I'm loving it.
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stardew night on the trans server 
Starting I saw the TV Glow now, if I don't cry in the next hour and 40 minutes I will officially be cis and the manner settled.
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My girlfriend is on girl shots now (
). I've never given an injection, but I want to be able to in case she needs help/can't do it herself/etc. does anyone have a guide or resources for how to give an injection?
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Feelings of dysphoria really bad the last couple of days. Making myself go buy a new outfit as a treat 🍭