When a woman turns 30, she enters a chrysalis to begin her metamorphosis from "teen" to "milf".
chapotraphouse
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It's wild how they basically turn into goop and reform entirely, but will somehow still retain memories from their teen years. Like if you get a teenager to associate electric shocks to a certain smell, even when they become a milf they still associate that smell with pain. Crazy!
Female adult film stars hit a point after about 25 where they're too old for teen stuff but too young for milf and its harder for them to find work
My friends were literally making milf jokes at me when I turned 30.
lmao look at this old mf
I don't get older. I just get hotter every year. I'm projecting that by 80, I will be the hottest woman to have ever lived
Hell yeah
People hit "old" at different times. Tim Rogers had an anecdote in one of his video reviews where he was talking about his two co-workers at Sony Entertainment Japan that were around the same age - one was cool AF and doing gigs in a jazz fusion band and the other was a boomer.
I gotta say that having a kid definitely speeds up the aging process a bit. All that extra responsibility tacked on at once is some "weeks where decades happen" shit lol.
I've lived through so many weeks where decades happen that I'm now approximately 240 years old
I'm in this weird limbo where my whole body aches but I still get carded buying alcohol
All jokes aside, wholesome post
I’m a not at all secret third thing
Middle aged
(I’m 40)
By American male life expectancy, I am also middle aged.
Middle aged includes many boomers. The earliest Boomers are just starting to get “elderly”, if you’re going off of 70 ish. It’s all arbitrary anyway but just thought I’d point it out. The middle is by far the biggest part for everyone that dies of old age
Oldness can come in big lurches. I suddenly went from being carded for alcohol every time to maybe 2 times a year. During the last 20 months I added 1:30 to my mile time, my cognitive activities decreased significantly, I lost a 3" patch of hair off the top of my head and the rest thinned 75%. I have to stop myself from telling my adult kid to make sure they're getting regular sleep whenever they tell me they've been up late studying. I haven't been asked by a stranger if I have any weed for several years.
Do you have any weed?
Age is just a number until you look up a condition you have and the internet is all "primarily affects middle-aged . . ." and that's when you become old. That and realizing that they're playing "Complicated" at the grocery store because you're the target demographic and it's on the oldies station meant for you and will stay there for as long as stores can play music at people.
based post
death to the Internet
death to social media
Death to America
There was literally a 1 year period where i went from "young" to "okd". Like in 2016 i was young and virile and then the next day i woke up and it was 2023 and i was old. And it'll happen to you!
I feel like I've aged 20 years in the last four. I'm so fucking tired.
You are not a "boomer" if you aren't in your twenties.
tru ur a boomer as soon as u hit 20
it probably feels that way because our lives have been so commodified
ok boomer
Im 32 and i'm fuckin old i got old man hip problems, hair going white, ear and nose hair going crazy
but I can also row 1500 strokes in 30 minutes at max resistance on the ol' rower so don't fuck with me youngins
My knees hurt, my kidney stones are acting up again, the image of that guy in the mirror is like a badly cut hair loss commercial, the damn kids bug me with thier minecraft every day but suuuure tell me again how age is just a number and it's the internet memes that make me feel bad Mr. Chapo.
Turning 40 really is like hitting a brick wall. You stumble, remember how easy it was to smoke a blunt, drink some beers and then go for a run the next morning just 10 years ago. And you can see where it's all gonna end up just 10 years from now. Fuck.
There is that beach that makes you old
Then why do old men and babies look so similar:
Me: “awwwwee look at those chubby little cheeks”
Him: “your bank loan has been denied”
But what if I want the senior discount at IHOP???
Just put on your meme war veteran hat. Thats how I do it these days.
stealing valor for pancakes is the kind of troop shit I'll salute
also being old isn't bad or a mark on your character it literally just happens to everyone that lives a long time
i've been old man since i was young boy.
but why seek you me?
met you your match?
met you your match...
with the eaters of the dead?